Help. 
I have three kids, they are all very well behaved and happy by themselves. The problem is when the 5yo and the 3yo are together. They fight over markers, over whose turn at the computer it is, who opens the door to the van and then who gets into the van first. If one has something the other screams to get it, even though she didn't see it 15 seconds ago. They yell in each other's faces. There isn't five minutes of peace and they really do seem to be out to get each other.
The 3yo is loud. I'll give her that. She screams, she pushes when she doesn't get what she wants. Giving up her nap is a long process and some days that's quite obvious.
The 5yo is star student in class. She hasn't received a negative note in the year she's been in school. She's polite, friendly, always helping others. I know they're always different in other places, I'm just putting this in for the polar opposites factor. The 3 and the 7yo get along pretty well. If/when things go wrong my 7yo will walk away before trying to argue with her; the 5yo has to prove her wrong or explain just why she can't have the fork she wants. I gave the 5yo the choice of going to public K or staying at home this year (complicated, I know) and she picked going to school so she could get away from her little sister.
I need to work on improving her self-esteem. Today, for example, she told me she thinks she's always wrong. I know she's 'stuck' in the middle and hasn't quite found her place with one older sibling and one younger.
What do I do? I've tried giving them words before their fights end up in loud screaming or grunting. They look at me with eyes glazed over and minutes later are back at it again. I try separating them in different rooms and they both feel punished or isolated. I usually have two crying kids in the bedrooms. They both need their sleep. Come evening, they resent going to bed and come up with excuses not to sleep.
I'll add that I'm stressed out with three kids all their waking hours -- just generally, not involving this post. Most days bedtime can't come soon enough and I don't have any reserve to draw on to be positive when it comes to solving this.
Thanks.
I have three kids, they are all very well behaved and happy by themselves. The problem is when the 5yo and the 3yo are together. They fight over markers, over whose turn at the computer it is, who opens the door to the van and then who gets into the van first. If one has something the other screams to get it, even though she didn't see it 15 seconds ago. They yell in each other's faces. There isn't five minutes of peace and they really do seem to be out to get each other.The 3yo is loud. I'll give her that. She screams, she pushes when she doesn't get what she wants. Giving up her nap is a long process and some days that's quite obvious.
The 5yo is star student in class. She hasn't received a negative note in the year she's been in school. She's polite, friendly, always helping others. I know they're always different in other places, I'm just putting this in for the polar opposites factor. The 3 and the 7yo get along pretty well. If/when things go wrong my 7yo will walk away before trying to argue with her; the 5yo has to prove her wrong or explain just why she can't have the fork she wants. I gave the 5yo the choice of going to public K or staying at home this year (complicated, I know) and she picked going to school so she could get away from her little sister.
I need to work on improving her self-esteem. Today, for example, she told me she thinks she's always wrong. I know she's 'stuck' in the middle and hasn't quite found her place with one older sibling and one younger.What do I do? I've tried giving them words before their fights end up in loud screaming or grunting. They look at me with eyes glazed over and minutes later are back at it again. I try separating them in different rooms and they both feel punished or isolated. I usually have two crying kids in the bedrooms. They both need their sleep. Come evening, they resent going to bed and come up with excuses not to sleep.
I'll add that I'm stressed out with three kids all their waking hours -- just generally, not involving this post. Most days bedtime can't come soon enough and I don't have any reserve to draw on to be positive when it comes to solving this.
Thanks.
