things are not going like I thought they would

[mariekitt24]

right now, my son is four months old. I thought I was going to be a co-sleeping mom, and I was for the first few weeks, then I found I just couldn't relax with my son right next to me. I'm one of those people that has to wiggle around and be situated just right before they can fall asleep, and in our queen sized bed, I just could not relax enough. I felt like I had to lay stiff as a statue protecting my baby and that if I made a move I would wake him up.
We have a crib side carred with our bed that we never use for some reason, and a cradle swing in our bedroom that he ends up sleeping in nearly every night since it seems to keep him asleep.

I found now that I can't even relax in the same room with him because my moving around tends to wake him up and I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells whenever my son is asleep.
So I now camp out in the living room on the floor, just so I can relax enough to sleep! My husband still stays in the bedroom with him while he's in the swing. Even if my husband is gone and the baby is taking a nap, I still can't share the bed, worrying I will wake him up with my movements.. being paranoid I'm going to cover his face with my blanket, just being unable to relax in general. So I feel like even if I got a king sized bed, it wouldn't make a difference.

We never let him get to the point of really crying or anything, and I jump up to feed him pretty often, but I still feel bad for not sleeping in a bed with him.
Its funny how dead set I was about co sleeping, and yet we just ended up turning our own bedroom into his nursery.

I really didn't foresee this issue.. I'm just wondering if anyone else has dealt with being unable to really sleep in the same bed as their baby, like me, even though you felt pretty strongly about co-sleeping?

Do you think I will be more comfortable with it once he gets a little bigger?

Is he still going to get benefit from co-sleeping if we don't start really till hes older, or is the main time for him to benefit going to be when he's this young?

I don't even really mind being camped out in the living room, I just feel guilty about it, is all.

[rlmueller]

Co-sleeping and the point

Attached parents have so many tools in our quiver that mainstream may discount without research. We attached first know that there is no book we can use to raise our children, we use varied and sound research, instinct, and a spirit of discernment to discover what works for the family dynamic (all of the family--not just the child) and what does not.

Co-sleeping is only one tool that Attachment-Parenters know they have in hand. We are no less attached by not using it. The point is--we are not scared or bullied by mainstream press into not using it and we are TUNED IN to the needs of our children. If our children, who we wish could sleep with us, can't sleep with us there and we can't sleep with them, we must, as the Attached folk TUNE to the need and fine tune our parenting for the good of the family dynamic.

We are no less attached if we have severe hormone imbalance and have done all we can to breastfeed but still cannot. We will snuggle the hell out of our kids, feed as best we are able and be attached. If we cannot co-sleep because our child is not sleeping well--well they will be near to us and we will rise at night to feed them and we are no less attached. If I sposie because my sitter will not cloth, I can still be attached. I will wear them, hold them, tune to their needs and attach to them and to the family unit as a whole.

[coleybug]

Originally Posted by rlmueller

Attached parents have so many tools in our quiver that mainstream may discount without research. We attached first know that there is no book we can use to raise our children, we use varied and sound research, instinct, and a spirit of discernment to discover what works for the family dynamic (all of the family--not just the child) and what does not.

Co-sleeping is only one tool that Attachment-Parenters know they have in hand. We are no less attached by not using it. The point is--we are not scared or bullied by mainstream press into not using it and we are TUNED IN to the needs of our children. If our children, who we wish could sleep with us, can't sleep with us there and we can't sleep with them, we must, as the Attached folk TUNE to the need and fine tune our parenting for the good of the family dynamic.

We are no less attached if we have severe hormone imbalance and have done all we can to breastfeed but still cannot. We will snuggle the hell out of our kids, feed as best we are able and be attached. If we cannot co-sleep because our child is not sleeping well--well they will be near to us and we will rise at night to feed them and we are no less attached. If I sposie because my sitter will not cloth, I can still be attached. I will wear them, hold them, tune to their needs and attach to them and to the family unit as a whole.

Well said!



And:

Is he still going to get benefit from co-sleeping if we don't start really till hes older, ...

I say yes! I didn't co sleep with DS1 until he was 2.5, and I think he's benefitted!