how important is it be like a teacher?

[aliciahorsley]

We have been homeschooling very informally for alomost a year. It probably more like unchooling with some workbooks thrown in when the mood strikes us. Otherwise is gymnstics, gardening, cooking, the playground and field trips.

Recently, ds said he wanted to learn his numbers as well as write and read. So we got some workbooks and went through a few pages when we felt industrious.

MIL was here from UK for two weeks. She used to be a teacher. She is supportive of my decision to homeschool and was gving me pointers on how to be more 'teacher like'.

While I really appreciate her help, I wonder how important it is to be more like a school teacher? Things she mentioned included stuff like

1. reading through every word on the page, especially instructions, EVERYTIME
2. offering lots of verbal praise
3. doing one thing at a time, so if it's ten minutes for addition, then that's all we do
4. correcting immediately him when he makes a mistake
5. insisting that he forms his letters in the proper method

Please understand that I am not trying to say I don't value her suggestions. I am just wondering if there are other mofe casual homeschool familes out there, where mum didn't take such an intense interest. And if everything went OK?

DS is dyslexic... but not sure it matters that much other than he has funny ways with letters. Still bright, curious, happy and very caring.

[saintmom]

The families I've known that had the hardest time HS'ing either were teachers or had experience teaching,LOL

It is important to offer praise to your child and say good job. I wasn't raised that way and had to learn how to do it.

Seems like common sense to read directions, but we don't always do everthing the way a worktext says, heck I often copy out pages and we cut them up and make other things like booklets and lapbooks with them.

The reason we HS is to avoid standarized, institutionalized education, including the "teacher mentality".

It's nice of your well-meaning family member to offer to help, just thank your lucky stars you don't have to deal with it every day!

[CariOfOz]

I'm gonna come right out and say.. not at all Being a teacher has more to do with managing a group of students than helping one student learn something. Totally different ball of wax really.

Originally Posted by aliciahorsley

While I really appreciate her help, I wonder how important it is to be more like a school teacher? Things she mentioned included stuff like

1. reading through every word on the page, especially instructions, EVERYTIME

1. Why? if your child got it the first time, repeating instructions endlessly is a waste of both of your time.
   
   offering lots of verbal praise

   I'd much rather my children get the immense satisfaction of looking at me saying I DID IT MUM, than to give them a quick 'good job' that is far less meaningful
   
   doing one thing at a time, so if it's ten minutes for addition, then that's all we do

   depends on what it is in that case I suppose?
   
   correcting immediately him when he makes a mistake

   this takes away his chance to correct him/herself and learn from their own mistakes imo.
   
   insisting that he forms his letters in the proper method

   As long as how my son forms his letters doesn't cause him hand pain, I show him how it's done and let him work out what is best for him. So far neither of them are doing anything freaky, and it's legible

DS is dyslexic... but not sure it matters that much other than he has funny ways with letters. Still bright, curious, happy and very caring.[/QUOTE]The dyslexia might be an issue as far as writing/reading, but I know nothing about working with dyslexic learners so hopefully someone else gives you advice on that

We are very relaxed hs'ers here... I do make a list of things on our whiteboard that the boys can do every day, more often than not they eagerly get them all done and then some. I wouldn't say I dont' take much of an interest, but my 5yo is learning to write using printing readiness worksheets from the web. I tell him to follow the arrows but leave him be to do his thing after that. And his brother writes letters on the whiteboard for him and he copies them like a madman.

[farmkids42morrow]

Originally Posted by aliciahorsley

MIL was here from UK for two weeks. She used to be a teacher. She is supportive of my decision to homeschool and was gving me pointers on how to be more 'teacher like'.

While I really appreciate her help, I wonder how important it is to be more like a school teacher? Things she mentioned included stuff like

1. reading through every word on the page, especially instructions, EVERYTIME
2. offering lots of verbal praise
3. doing one thing at a time, so if it's ten minutes for addition, then that's all we do
4. correcting immediately him when he makes a mistake
5. insisting that he forms his letters in the proper method

Please understand that I am not trying to say I don't value her suggestions. I am just wondering if there are other mofe casual homeschool familes out there, where mum didn't take such an intense interest. And if everything went OK?

DS is dyslexic... but not sure it matters that much other than he has funny ways with letters. Still bright, curious, happy and very caring.

We have been relaxed homeschoolers for over 9 years. We have 4 kids, so I've got a little bit of experience. Some kids like the "teacher" thing, some don't. My oldest hates anything that resembles what I would term "school" (he's more the unschooler type), but my two middles love structure & routine, workbooks, instruction...all that school-y stuff. You'll learn in time what your son responds to and what turns him off.

I would encourage him to try to make his letters properly. Insisting is different than encouraging though and for someone with dyslexia, this can be very frustrating. But it is far harder to unlearn doing things the wrong way than to learn them properly from the start. Doing one thing at a time is also good. Multi-tasking is not really that great when a child is trying to learn something new, but I wouldn't be setting a timer or anything - like "math is for 30 minutes, you have 10 to go". When he's done with something and wants to move on, move on.

Reading all the instructions, lots of verbal praise, correcting immediately - if this is what he responds best to, do it. If not, don't. Some kids need a lot of feedback from you about how they're doing and some don't. Some need to know exactly what they are to do, some like to jump right in and figure it out along the way. Some like to fix mistakes right away and some feel like a failure if you're pointing out every wrong answer as they go.

You'll get the sense of where you son fits as you go. Don't sweat it if you do something that he doesn't like or makes him upset. Tomorrow is another day; the only way to learn what works and what doesn't is by trying it out. Just say "We tried it this way, but that wasn't much fun. Let's try it a different way today."

Congrats on making the best decision for your son, and yourself! Homeschooling is wonderful And by the way, it sounds like you've got a great MIL. A teacher who is supportive of homeschooling - hooray!

[jessicaSAR]

I think this really does depend on the child. A school teacher is trying to cast a large net, so of course she is going to go over all the instructions and make immediate corrections. That is inevitable when you are trying to make sure 15-25 kids all understand and that you can efficiently interact with all of them. Homeschoolers have the luxury of tailoring their methods to their particular children. My DD will often do much of her work without any input from me, and if she does not understand I am available to answer her questions, and she does not have to worry about asking out loud in a class of students and feeling silly or stupid. So the home environment is very different.

As for doing one thing at a time, I think that depends on your own philosophy. I like short, focused lessons. So when we do math we do it for 10-25 focused minutes and then move on. But lots of times you will be doing activities that include many subjects and it is not always necessary to define what you are doing as math or history or science ect.

I do correct work, but not always immediately. If I make corrections at night, then we go over and correct them the next day, or I leave them for her to correct on her own.

When we are doing handwriting or copywork, we strive for beautifully formed letters. When we are doing spelling or dictation or other activities, I don't worry about it as long as the writing is legible.

As for praise, I often comment on a job well done, but I think it is more important to praise the focus or effort than the result. Kids need to learn that success is not a function of talent or gift but rather of hard work and effort. If she writes beautifully for her copywork, I might say something like "well done, I really appreciate how carefully you formed those capital letters." That's enough.

HTH

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by aliciahorsley

gving me pointers on how to be more 'teacher like'.

I've never wanted to be "teacher-like" and my kids haven't wanted it either. I'm their mother, we're a family, this isn't a classroom.

If they needed directions read, I read them. If not, I don't.

If they needed uninterrupted time to work on something, I tried to make that happen, but if they wanted to multitask or move from project to project they were free to do that.

Some of my kids accepted corrections, some wanted to figure it out for themselves, some days they were open to corrections and other times they didn't want to hear it. It all works out.

I'm not big on praise (no stickers or constant "good job!") but we celebrate their accomplishments as they wish.

They each have their own style of writing, some much neater than others, but they "get" that the point of writing is to communicate and that it needs to be legible so that too has worked itself out.

Over the years, I have gotten advice and materials from well-meaning teachers and I'm sure it's stuff that's worked well for them, but I'm not managing a classroom and I didn't want to turn my home into a school so most of it just didn't apply.

[jlpumkin]

I think teacher like would be smothering in a homeschool environment. At school a teacher spreads that out over what 27 kids? At home there's just a few. So even though the 27 kids have a teacher s/he is spread so thin that they get a lot of time to figure things out for themselves (or not as the case may be). At home I think they should be afforded the same opportunity. Which means to me, that we have to back off - especially with the correct everything immediately. I would think that could potentially be a big confidence dwindler... if everytime you made a mistake someone was waiting to pounce on it - even if they did so nicely.

On the other hand the bonus of the individual attention is that we don't have to isolate each subject to make sure everyone is on the same page. We can mix lessons/ideas together to show how they really are relevant in real life. Not a vaccuum of a classroom environment where math is first class but science can't happen until later in the day.

I guess those were the 2 that caught my eye. But also, I would encourage you to make how you conduct learning more matter of fact, less open to discussion. I love to inform those who don't hs about what we do, but I'm not open to discussing how we should do it (esp. w/ teachers - no offense)... because they just don't understand... for those suggestions I come here

[mommy2abigail]

Not important at all. That is the beauty of home schooling, you don't HAVE to learn/teach in the traditional way!

[Brisen]

Originally Posted by farmkids42morrow

Some kids like the "teacher" thing, some don't.

:

My oldest loves to start at the beginning of a workbook/project, do each page, get correction right away, and be marked. He doesn't do a lot of workbooks, but if he does, that's how he does it. My second would completely shut me out and hate learning anything if I were focused on correcting, especially immediately. He figures it out on his own when he's wrong. The closest I usually get is telling him what his answer was the right answer to -- for example, if we're playing a math game with multiplying, and he says that 3x4=16, I'll tell him "16 is 4x4, but you're close..." and he'll figure it out from there.

All of my kids get frustrated if I try to correct their handwriting. I'll give them tips when they start out, and sometimes point out backwards letters (basically, I'm honest about it if they're writing to me and I truly can't make it out), but otherwise, I leave them be and they end up self-correcting.

And ITA with SagMom -- I'm Mom, not a teacher, and this is home, not a classroom. It's going to be different.

[alegna]

eh... as a *teacher* I didn't find the teacher-act to always be the right thing...

-Angela

[Lillian J]

Yipes!!! I'm expecting a carpenter any moment, so I don't have time to read the other responses, but I just had to take a moment to say that I think it's VERY IMPORTANT.....TO NOT BE LIKE A TEACHER!!! Lillian

[ocelotmom]

1. reading through every word on the page, especially instructions, EVERYTIME

I think carefully reading directions is a good habit to get into, but it's obviously possible to go overboard, and it's perfectly acceptable to modify the instructions to fit your needs.

2. offering lots of verbal praise

This is really controversial! Some praise is obviously good, but too much or not earned and it becomes less meaningful.

3. doing one thing at a time, so if it's ten minutes for addition, then that's all we do

Makes sense, within reason. As long as the lessons are short enough, I can't understand how you could do it differently.

Or does she mean something like "Don't follow up a page of addition with a page of subtraction"?

4. correcting immediately him when he makes a mistake

Since when do classroom teachers do this on a consistent basis?

Personally, I found this was something I had to back off on. Immediate correction drove us both nuts. Now I wait until he's done with a page unless it's obvious he's doing the whole thing completely wrong, in which case we go back and discuss the instructions or concepts involved again.

5. insisting that he forms his letters in the proper method

Like 1 and 3, probably a good idea, within limits. My son writes his letters in a totally awkward manner, and practicing correct form speeds up his writing. However, there's also something to be said for the idea that people will naturally gravitate towards the least effortful way of doing things, and the least effortful way isn't necessarily going to be identical for everyone.

[RiverSky]

Not important at all.

I agree with the PP that the homeschool parents who have had the toughest times that I have known, have all been previously employed as teachers. It's hard for them to break out of that mold, ya know?

[kittie313]

The only thing I would like to comment on is the proper letter formation thing. I'm teaching a K'er and 1st grader right now. My older (Melissa) has good printing for a 6yo lefty, and Lydia (that's the K'er) has typical printing for one just starting. We use a program that really pushes proper letter formation all the time, but I'm more relaxed than that. I found last school year, Melissa did more of her printing improperly and nothing I did could really correct it. This year, however, is a completely different story. Her printing is much better, and she's focusing more on proper formation. So, I'm using that experience as a lesson for myself. With Lydia, I'm teaching her how to do proper formation but I'm not forcing it. I have her finger trace the letter the way its supposed to be made, and then I guide her in printing properly for a couple letters. Then she finishes the page herself in her own way, either properly forming letters or not. Either way, its semi-legible so I'm happy.

[sha_lyn]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

Yipes!!! I'm expecting a carpenter any moment, so I don't have time to read the other responses, but I just had to take a moment to say that I think it's VERY IMPORTANT.....TO NOT BE LIKE A TEACHER!!! Lillian

Yep that...well except we have to get rady for a birthday party instead of waiting on a carpenter, LOL.

[bandgeek]

I'm not a professional, nor do I have lots of experience, but here's my first impression:


1. reading through every word on the page, especially instructions, EVERYTIME
Not necessary. Kids aren't going to forget the concept each time. A quick run-down is all that is needed I think. If you make them sit through a paragraph of instructions, they are just going to lose patience and interest.

2. offering lots of verbal praise
I think no more than you and the child are comfortable with. If you start overdoing it, they will see right through you.

3. doing one thing at a time, so if it's ten minutes for addition, then that's all we do
No. I think it's better to incorporate multiple subjects into one lesson as possible. The other night I was teaching DS sphere, cube, cylinder, cone, and pyramid. We ended up talking about the ancient Egyptians and their burial rituals and then he built his own pyramids out of stick magnets. Out of those shapes, guess which one he remembered the next day? Yup, they pyramid! The others will take repetition to learn because he didn't have something substantial to reinforce them.

4. correcting immediately him when he makes a mistake
Depends on the mistake. A math problem? Sure. Let him know how to correct it before he moves on to the next one. Writing sentences? No. Let him express himself and appreciate his creativity, THEN go back and help him fix spelling and punctuation.

5. insisting that he forms his letters in the proper method
Not necessary. Writing is one thing I believe should be up to the individual, as long as it an be read easily by other people. No one is going to write exactly the same and we shouldn't TRY to write exactly the same. 4 and 5 year olds are going to make mistakes and their letters won't be perfect, but as they get older, they will notice more details and correct their mistakes on their own. My DS starts at the bottom of the line and forms his letters up. This is what he's comfortable with. If I try to make him to it the "right" way, he'll get discouraged and frustrated. He has 15 YEARS to practice before it's essential that his handwriting can be read by employers and college professors. And as long as his writing is neat, no one will notice if he still starts at the bottom anyway.

All that being said, I don't think it's important to "be like a teacher". You are his mom and you happen to teach him things...nothing has changed since the day he was born, except that he is older.

[theretohere]

The only one I agree with is letter formation- and that just to the extent of forming letters in the proper order, not that they have to look just like the example. It can be hard to unlearn bad writing practices.

[aliciahorsley]

Wow...thank you for all the replies.

With regards to the doing one thing at a time, I we were exploring the number 7 so I showed him how 6 and 1, 5 and 2, 4 and 3 make seven. Then I was subtracting numbers from seven and telling him about multiples of seven. For a kid who can barely write, he can divide and multiply in his head pretty well.

It was this that she said was not such a good idea. In a way, I can see where she is coming from.

Looking forward to starting again. We've been on a break to recover from IL's visit as it was very hectic trying to squeeze in sightseeing and everything else

[kittie313]

Originally Posted by theretohere

The only one I agree with is letter formation- and that just to the extent of forming letters in the proper order, not that they have to look just like the example. It can be hard to unlearn bad writing practices.

VERY true. I'm unteaching some stuff that my lefty 1st grader learned from her K teacher, she only went the second half of the year and I had Melissa already trained on paper turning and properly holding the pencil and forming letters right (hey I'm a lefty too, I know ALL the tricks lol) and her right-handed teacher undid the paper turn, taught her how to do the lefty hook, and just all kinds of bad things. I've almost got it undone though, we started in April when I caught her teacher and told her to stop unteaching my lefty because she doesn't know how lefties write, then she tried to tell me I was wrong until I flat out told her I'm a lefty also and I know a lot more about it from actually DOING it than what she did in school. She agreed with me and asked for pointers (the whole exchange was said nicely and respectfully, I don't like confrontations and was shaking inside the whole time) and I told her what I was teaching Melissa. She went in, grabbed a notebook and paper, then came out and took notes so that she could encourage Melissa with what I'm teaching and teach the other lefty in her class the same.

Originally Posted by aliciahorsley

Wow...thank you for all the replies.

With regards to the doing one thing at a time, I we were exploring the number 7 so I showed him how 6 and 1, 5 and 2, 4 and 3 make seven. Then I was subtracting numbers from seven and telling him about multiples of seven. For a kid who can barely write, he can divide and multiply in his head pretty well.

It was this that she said was not such a good idea. In a way, I can see where she is coming from.

Looking forward to starting again. We've been on a break to recover from IL's visit as it was very hectic trying to squeeze in sightseeing and everything else

I think that how you approached the number 7 made perfect sense! Its a great way to introduce other math things related to that number, and dh taught our 5yo addition and subtraction in a similar way. To heck with what your MIL says! lol

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by aliciahorsley

With regards to the doing one thing at a time, I we were exploring the number 7 so I showed him how 6 and 1, 5 and 2, 4 and 3 make seven. Then I was subtracting numbers from seven and telling him about multiples of seven. For a kid who can barely write, he can divide and multiply in his head pretty well.

It was this that she said was not such a good idea.

I can't imagine what her problem with that is - I think it's brilliant , and fun. On the other hand, it isn't a traditional school technique, so I guess that's what her problem with it is ! - Lillian