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Pictures? - Page 2

post #21 of 25
No, and it's been a HUGE point of contention with SS's mom. We had a portrait taken on our wedding day - me, DH, my DD and DS and SS. SS's mom was furious we hadn't included her. Bizarre, right? But it's come up again and again over the years. She has variously requested DH to come for a portrait sitting with her and SS, for us all (including her new DH) to go for a portrait, etc. Don't even ask me why she wants portraits in her home that include me; we are polite to each other but there's no love lost there.

At events and functions, SS's mom always requests a photo of the three of them. DH always refuses. She accuses him of not caring about SS's needs. He stonewalls, because there's no way to talk himself out of this argument. I distract SS during this; SS's stepdad and I engage in extremely awkward conversation and pray for all of it to end.

But hey, this is the woman who accused us of trying to change SS's last name to my ex-husband's last name, so the jealously and insecurity run very deep. If the relationships were different, the occasional photo of DH, SS, and SS's mom probably wouldn't matter to me in the least.
post #22 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSMa View Post
A topic that came up in my other thread, and I am really curious...

In your blended families... do you currently still make sure to take pics of just the bio parents at events for your children? Are the stepparents ever included in these photos? Do you do two separate family pics? As in Mom's new family, Dad's new family?
We would never take a picture of the former family. Seems disingenuous. Our model is that the kids have two families, so we take lots of pix with the kids and us (candids and studio photos), and we're sure their mom takes pictures with them as well. We're cordial, but we don't mingle at events and we don't pretend to be one big family. It feels enough like a plural wife situation as it is -- a picture of us all might be too much! lol.

When I go to a photo studio with one of my exes and have photos taken of what might have been, then my husband will be welcome to do the same. But I don't and he doesn't either.
post #23 of 25
So, I was going to post some diatribe about how uncomfortable/unhealthy it would be for everyone in our families to pretend that pictures of the kids with their divorced, biological parents is somehow natural and normal.

Personally, my stomach does flip-flops at the the mere thought of DH, DSS, DSD and the ex-wife taking one big happy family picture together at this point in our lives. Blech.

But then I remembered: At my wedding, I insisted on taking a picture of me and my parents, just the three of us. My Mom and Dad have been divorced for 7 years and my dad is remarried to the loveliest woman you could ever meet. It seems I might owe my own darling step-mother an apology. I'm sure it hurt her feelings to see me insist on having a picture me, her husband, and her husband's ex-wife.

It's funny how things look when the shoe is on the other foot.
post #24 of 25
we have bio parents pictures / blended family pictures / and then everyone together pictures. Normally ALL kids are included in each photo only the parents change places.
post #25 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by mild_adventurer View Post
So, I was going to post some diatribe about how uncomfortable/unhealthy it would be for everyone in our families to pretend that pictures of the kids with their divorced, biological parents is somehow natural and normal.

Personally, my stomach does flip-flops at the the mere thought of DH, DSS, DSD and the ex-wife taking one big happy family picture together at this point in our lives. Blech.

But then I remembered: At my wedding, I insisted on taking a picture of me and my parents, just the three of us. My Mom and Dad have been divorced for 7 years and my dad is remarried to the loveliest woman you could ever meet. It seems I might owe my own darling step-mother an apology. I'm sure it hurt her feelings to see me insist on having a picture me, her husband, and her husband's ex-wife.

It's funny how things look when the shoe is on the other foot.
See, I could understand these kinds of pictures at graduation, wedding, your kids baptism, that sort of major event. But a Kindergarten school event? Nah. Especially if the person who wants the picture is one of the parents, not the kid. While your stepmom might appreciate your thinknig of her, I bet she understands where you were coming from.
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