6 yr old DS misbehaving in school...did I do the right thing???

[JsJa2002]

Our school system has a behavior color chart, green (good), yellow(1st warning), orange(2nd warning), blue (note to parents), red (principal/note), our DS always gets a green but then last week he came home with 1 green, 2 yellows and yesterday an orange. Last week he had 2 yellows. The teachers notes in his planner were about him not following directions, talking during quiet time, looking at another childs work during a test etc. We don't give him any form of punishment but I do ask him what happened and ask him if we can make tomorrow a better day. This weekend I had planned on taking him to see "Where the Wild Things Are" but after the talks we had all week about paying attention, respecting his teacher etc. and then him coming home from school with an orange, I took the movie outing away. He was dissapointed but not devastated and I'm probably more sad than him because I was looking forward to spending the day with him and just him (we have a 3 yr DD) So, now I feel bad. Did I go too far, should I have done something different? Is this just guilt on my part and that's it? I appreciate any thoughts please. Me and DH are always in conflict on discipline (I tend to let things slide a little more).

[Alyantavid]

I would (and have) done the same thing.

Have you talked to his teacher about any of this? There may be a reason behind all of this talking and pestering other kids. With my kid, it was because he was incredibly bored. Once he got into some more challenging, advanced work, his behavior improved immediately.

[jazzharmony]

That's too bad. I imagine with the stress of being tested, scrutinized and shamed at school, he could really use some one on one time with mom. I would talk to him and try to dig deeper about what is happening at school. He is only 6 after all. I personally would try *more* one on one time to connect with him, rather than taking it away as punishment, which is what you did. Instead of a movie, take him out for tea and a chat

[RiverSky]

Well, I wouldn't have made the same choice, at all. From our experience in kindergarten, yellows and oranges (or reds, at our school) were given out sometimes for very arbitrary reasons. My son once got one because he touched a girl's hair, who was in front of him, while waiting in line. He thought her hair was beautiful and so he touched it. The teacher saw him do it and the girl wasn't hurt or anything. It was definitely not the sort of thing I'd take away a privilege for. He was just a curious 5 year old.

[jeteaa]

schools are a breeding ground for naughty behavior. How can you blame a kid for acting out when put into that kind of environment. And I agree w/ pp that what a teacher might see out of the corner of their eye might look naughty but really isn't, and the teacher doesn't have time to explore the issue. I would separate school/work and home life. Don't punish at home for something that happens at school. Let the punishment happen at school, they don't get recess etc.

[minkin03]

Originally Posted by RiverSky

Well, I wouldn't have made the same choice, at all. From our experience in kindergarten, yellows and oranges (or reds, at our school) were given out sometimes for very arbitrary reasons. My son once got one because he touched a girl's hair, who was in front of him, while waiting in line. He thought her hair was beautiful and so he touched it. The teacher saw him do it and the girl wasn't hurt or anything. It was definitely not the sort of thing I'd take away a privilege for. He was just a curious 5 year old.

Yeah, my dd got on yellow last year in Kindergarten b/c *I* forgot to sign and return a progress report the very next day.