I have 3 dc ranging in age from a 13 yo dd, 9 yo ds, to the youngest, a 10.5 mo ds. So there's a big gap in between the first two and the little guy, and I feel like I'm learning how to parent a young toddler all over again! This guy is very cute and smart and sweet, but also very big, rough, strong, curious and aggressive (at times).
I know he's still a baby but I'm having a hard time with knowing how to deal with certain behaviours, and I don't want to get off on the wrong track with him. FWIW, my ds1 was extremely gentle and easygoing, and dd was very shy and cautious, so I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of temperament. The problematic behaviours include intentional biting of breasts (during nursing - my one nipple is injured right now and it really hurts to nurse, esp. during the long night time sessions when he is most ravenous) but also other body parts like arms, fingers and legs, on exposed skin but also through clothes; face grabbing and scratching (esp. noses and around eyes), pinching, hair pulling, glasses pulling, and some hitting. He's also very rough on animals, esp. our old cat who is luckily extremely tolerant of him.
I've done the "gentle hands" kind of re-direction with him from about 5 months on, but he just doesn't seem to get it, or *want* to get it. His hands are incredibly well developed and strong for such a young one - he can really cause some damage. He's also very sensitive and emotional, and if I speak to him in a loud voice and say "ouch, that hurts!" and set him on the floor after being hurt he often will cry as if he's been injured (or else he'll just ignore it and immediately move to something else for distraction).
I try not to use "no" too often, and am trying to get the older kids to use positive redirection as much as possible, too. We are a non-hitting, affectionate, closely bonded family. He is at cared for at home, dad and grandma are around lots, he gets lots of attention, lots of stimulation. He eats well (no dairy but loves everything else) but tends to fight sleep (will cry and hit me sometimes if I try to take him for a nap when he doesn't want to, but is actually exhausted). He doesn't really like to nurse that much, except when he's really tired or asleep. Overall he is a very active, funloving, physical kind of baby; loves being outside, loves climbing, getting into things, wants to walk but can't quite yet.
So; any advice/suggestions from moms who've BTDT? I want to parent him in a way that supports him to be happy and healthy, but that isn't so draining/painful. I'm also concerned that he not hurt his older siblings, esp his big brother, who he already "attacks" sometimes, for fun (ds 1 is very patient, but he sometimes gets hurt already and I don't want him to become wary/resentful). And I guess deep inside I'm worried that this isn't "normal" because I haven't really experienced it first hand before, and that it's a signal that we might be dealing with something bigger/more challenging down the road. I really value kindness, sensitivity, and compassion and I'm finding it hard, physically and emotionally, to have a child who doesn't seem to mind causing pain to others.
I know he's still a baby but I'm having a hard time with knowing how to deal with certain behaviours, and I don't want to get off on the wrong track with him. FWIW, my ds1 was extremely gentle and easygoing, and dd was very shy and cautious, so I don't have a lot of experience with this kind of temperament. The problematic behaviours include intentional biting of breasts (during nursing - my one nipple is injured right now and it really hurts to nurse, esp. during the long night time sessions when he is most ravenous) but also other body parts like arms, fingers and legs, on exposed skin but also through clothes; face grabbing and scratching (esp. noses and around eyes), pinching, hair pulling, glasses pulling, and some hitting. He's also very rough on animals, esp. our old cat who is luckily extremely tolerant of him.
I've done the "gentle hands" kind of re-direction with him from about 5 months on, but he just doesn't seem to get it, or *want* to get it. His hands are incredibly well developed and strong for such a young one - he can really cause some damage. He's also very sensitive and emotional, and if I speak to him in a loud voice and say "ouch, that hurts!" and set him on the floor after being hurt he often will cry as if he's been injured (or else he'll just ignore it and immediately move to something else for distraction).
I try not to use "no" too often, and am trying to get the older kids to use positive redirection as much as possible, too. We are a non-hitting, affectionate, closely bonded family. He is at cared for at home, dad and grandma are around lots, he gets lots of attention, lots of stimulation. He eats well (no dairy but loves everything else) but tends to fight sleep (will cry and hit me sometimes if I try to take him for a nap when he doesn't want to, but is actually exhausted). He doesn't really like to nurse that much, except when he's really tired or asleep. Overall he is a very active, funloving, physical kind of baby; loves being outside, loves climbing, getting into things, wants to walk but can't quite yet.
So; any advice/suggestions from moms who've BTDT? I want to parent him in a way that supports him to be happy and healthy, but that isn't so draining/painful. I'm also concerned that he not hurt his older siblings, esp his big brother, who he already "attacks" sometimes, for fun (ds 1 is very patient, but he sometimes gets hurt already and I don't want him to become wary/resentful). And I guess deep inside I'm worried that this isn't "normal" because I haven't really experienced it first hand before, and that it's a signal that we might be dealing with something bigger/more challenging down the road. I really value kindness, sensitivity, and compassion and I'm finding it hard, physically and emotionally, to have a child who doesn't seem to mind causing pain to others.
