help my DS with his anger

[Siar]

looking for some productive ideas to help DS (age 5.5 yrs) with his anger. He cannot control his temper and becomes quite aggressive. There is no obvious lead up to the aggression, it's as if someone has flicked a switch. I had to stop him 3 times from throwing wooden toys at myself and his baby sister. And he has started using words that are not too pretty He has had problems at school with his behaviour and has started hurting his sister at home (she's 7 months old) for no obvious reason. Last week he bit her on the face and today he purposefully trod on her hand - she wasn't bugging him and it wasn't for want of my attention (I had offered to play with him but he wasn't interested). He may have some issues (we are waiting for an assessment from speech, language & communication). But really, in the meantime, I just need to help him to find ways to manage his temper. I was wondering about getting him a stress ball or something. He is not the type to relax and listen to a CD. I think after a busy day at school he needs some time on his own (he did this yesterday of his own accord and we had a much more peaceful evening), but I don't know how to encourage him to do this. I would be grateful for any suggestions.
Thanks!

[Siar]

anyone? I could use some help please!

[HappilyEvrAfter]

He may have some issues (we are waiting for an assessment from speech, language & communication).

Would you clarify what you mean by this?

Does he have some communication issues that might prevent him from telling you what he wants/needs? That could intensify his frustration and his anger.
I know you said you're awaiting some results, but is there something obvious that prompted these tests?

If not, then there are some books on explosive anger and oppositional defiance disorder that might be worth reading.

[Siar]

yay! thanks for replying. he doesn't have any language/speech problems, but he certainly seems to have trouble with social interaction. we are being referred for assessment through the school, though I'm not entirely sure what they are looking for. I would welcome any book suggestions that you might have. Thanks.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

Well, The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene is a good one. Taming the Spirited Child by Michael H. Popkin is another that I just read...pretty good.

These are the two I started with when my son just started randomly acting out. His temper would just FLARE up out of nowhere over the simplest things.
I ended up pulling him out of the Head Start program we were attending in order to work on these things.
And he started having issues with impulse control all over again.

Mine's got anger that gets trapped in his head due to the ever growing absence of his father...but I digress.

Perhaps your son has some underlying anger at not being the only child anymore?'
In that case How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk is a good book to start with so you can open dialoge with him.
Open communication and teaching him how to TALK about his anger rather than act it out is VERY helpful.

Hope some of this might help. There are also some really good articles all over the web about internalize anger in toddlers. I didn't keep the links, but a quick goggle will bring them up.

Wish I could offer more!