He said it's my decision!

[clicksab]

My DH said that if I don't want to circ our son, it's up to me! DH is circed and never thought about it much until we got some info from a Bradley calss when we were pregnant with DD. But of course, we were having a girl so we never discussed it much...but he said he was unsure how he felt about it. This time around I brought it up before we knew what we were having, and he said "well, we didn't even pierce DD's ears....it's up to you." After we found out we're having a boy I just sort of checked to make sure he understood that we were not circing (I didn't want to assume we'd both agreed only to be fighting after he was born!) and he was totally on the no-circ train with me!

Okay, now I just have to figure out how to not make a big deal out of it to the family (I am all about presenting this as the normal and natural choice) but also making sure that my mom, sister, anyone who would change a diaper, would know not to retract, etc. Any advice?

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by clicksab

My DH said that if I don't want to circ our son, it's up to me! DH is circed and never thought about it much until we got some info from a Bradley calss when we were pregnant with DD. But of course, we were having a girl so we never discussed it much...but he said he was unsure how he felt about it. This time around I brought it up before we knew what we were having, and he said "well, we didn't even pierce DD's ears....it's up to you." After we found out we're having a boy I just sort of checked to make sure he understood that we were not circing (I didn't want to assume we'd both agreed only to be fighting after he was born!) and he was totally on the no-circ train with me!

What a lucky boy. And what a wonderful DH! Just out of curiosity what kind of information did they provide?

Originally Posted by clicksab

Okay, now I just have to figure out how to not make a big deal out of it to the family (I am all about presenting this as the normal and natural choice) but also making sure that my mom, sister, anyone who would change a diaper, would know not to retract, etc. Any advice?

Well, you just don't. I would arm yourself with accurate information if anyone asks you. Think about it as a chance to educate and who knows maybe change some minds. Anyone you expect will be changing him just make sure to inform them not to retract him. You can say intact boys are easy to change you just wipe like a finger.

[Fyrestorm]

Congrats on the soon to be addition! What a lucky boy getting to keep all his parts!

"Why would I mutilate my beautiful perfect baby" tend to shut mouths.

[Mary Contrary]

Yay! That's great! Congrats to you and your perfectly intact son!

[PuppyFluffer]

I am so happy to hear of your upcoming addition and that he will remain complete and whole!

The first thing that came to my mind when I read your thread title was "no, it's not your decision, it's your son's!" but I knew exactly what you meant.

[pammysue]

That is great news!

As far as the family, I would not say anything unless they are going to be changing him on a regular basis without you around. Really someone's genital are no one else's business!

If they are going to be watching him I would just casually mention it in the rest of the directions for his care without missing a beat. "He goes to bed at blah blah blah. He is not circumcised but you don't need to do anything different with his penis or foreskin. He eats bottles blah blah blah."

[yarngoddess]

I wouldn't bring up his circ status till after he's born. That's just me, anyway. DH and I are very over protective about who changes diapers- and 99.999% of the time it's ME. We've had family offer to change the baby's diapers, but I always refuse. If someone else were to change him, I make sure I have a conversation about Intact Care, very simple discussion with clear instructions of What NOT to do. Don't drag on and on about WHY- just say to never retract in any way because it will cause bleeding and scars. Then move on.

So happy you have been able to come to a decision with no fighting!!! I feel so sad for those parents that fight over this issue, it's hard enough to be parents! Enjoy that baby boy and worry about the family later

[clicksab]

Thanks ladies!
FellowTraveler, the info we got from my bradley teacher was three years ago so I'm a little fuzzy on it. I think she just gave us a bunch of pro-intact articles from various sources.

As far as family goes, I don't think it'll be a huge issue, as they got very used to me doing things differently when I had DD. I don't think they'll really bat an eye at the fact that we're leaving his body alone! I guess I'll just address the diaper change issue as it comes. My mom is a VERY hands on grandma, and this is her first grandson so I will probably not have to change a diaper for a week after the kid is born. I know I'm blessed with a mom who is devoted to her grandchildren and is also very respectful of our choices!