I am so sad right now...

[tappinerp]

I have been a lurker for months now.... but I now need a way to process everything that is going on.

I am "due" october 25. This wed, I was diagnosed with swine flu. Today, dh came down with it. I just got off the phone with my midwife and was told that if I go into labor in the next 7 days, dh will not be allowed in the hospital. I am fairly sure I will go in the next few days. (B-h contrax have been STRONG the past 48 hours, loosing my plug, etc).

I am really trying to hold it together as I am obviously not the first woman to give birth without her partner there, but I never dreamed this would be a possibility. My mom is a hypochondriac, she will make me more nervous, and I don't feel like I can really ask anyone else to be my support person as I am sure they don't want to be exposed to the flu through me.

It just reallly, really sucks. And I feel so alone right now. I understand the reasoning, but it doesn't make it any easier.

[firewoman]

OH mama! I'm so sorry. Can you send some vibes to the baby telling him/her to wait for another week. It is possible even with all the action you are having that he/she may stay in there another week. I hope you get to have your husband there.

[gumby74]

I thought that if he didn't have a fever he wasn't contagious. So, I guess I don't understand why they wouldn't let him in and then make him gown and mask the entire time at least? My other thought is that a lot of the hospitals around here are vaccinating their staff, so it seems to me that the only one who would be at risk is the baby and again I thought that as long as he didn't have a fever it was ok? I could be completely off base,but it just sucks that you would have to even worry about this right now.

[Pandme]

How are you feeling physically? I'm so sorry this happened. I wish you both a speedy recovery.

[Spiralshell]

Well that really sucks!! I'm sorry to hear it and I hope that baby holds on long enough for you both to be feeling better so that the hospital will let you be together for the birth.

[fyrebloom]

Oh what rotten timing. I hate to wish a prolonged gestation but hopefully you hold off a week or so until everyone is in the clear.

[tappinerp]

Thanks so much for the replies. I agree, I am just hoping that this babe stays put long enough for us all to be healthy.

I am doing okay. Really tired, sore throat, headache. The body aches and fever are gone. Nausea has settled as well. So far, dh seems to be worse off than I have been. He couldn't come if he wanted to today (if for some reason babe decided to come).

I know things will work out in the long run, maybe not as we planned, but I guess the most important thing is that everyone is healthy.

[jaylily]

((((big hugs)))) I'm sorry! I hope you are feeling better really soon.

[Therese's Mommy]

That really stinks Yes, you are not the first woman to give birth without her dh, but that certainly doesn't make it any easier for you. Even though your body seems to be gearing up for labor there is still a good possibility that your body will "know" this is not a good time to go into labor and you won't have your baby as soon as you think.

I hope that you and your dh recover fully soon and then you can both enjoy the arrival of your lo together.

Beth

[susanl1202]

Babies can be really smart, often they won't come when there is illness in the home - hoping that your babe takes it's time!

[Inspired007]

First of all, good luck mama, hopefully you won't go into labor just yet. Sending strong sticky vibes to you.

Originally Posted by gumby74

I thought that if he didn't have a fever he wasn't contagious. So, I guess I don't understand why they wouldn't let him in and then make him gown and mask the entire time at least? My other thought is that a lot of the hospitals around here are vaccinating their staff, so it seems to me that the only one who would be at risk is the baby and again I thought that as long as he didn't have a fever it was ok? I could be completely off base,but it just sucks that you would have to even worry about this right now.

I read a study that said that although they have recently claimed that the flu isn't contagious after 24 hours with no fever, it isn't the case with swine flu. The research showed that the swine flu is actually contagious longer than the reg. influenza and that it is contagious if you still have a cough. They weren't able to access how contagious it was at that point, but they did say that they still found swine flu virus in the nasal passages of people whose fevers had been long gone. Also, not everyone with swine flu even gets a fever.

[lil_stinkyfeet]

That really stinks

I hope your lo can wait a little longer!

[34me]

I hope babe stays put for a little bit. DH is very latex allergic and 11 years ago hospitals wern't so great at being latex free so he was behind a window while I had ds#2....

[Pookietooth]

Let's hope the baby stays. You could meditate on it. Pick a date that is outside their window, and write on the calendar that this is your new due date. Maybe it will work, maybe not, but it might at least help you be less stressed.
Can you afford and find a great doula in case you do have the baby sooner?

[tappinerp]

Hi Everyone,

Original Poster here

Thank you again for your replies. As it turned out, I ended up going into labor the night that I wrote the post (hence the reason for my absence on mothering).

Our beautiful baby Jonah Lee was born after 4 hours of labor (he must have known mamma didn't have enough strength to go for very long ) It was an odd experience to say the least- Laboring in an isolation unit- 1 nurse who was new to labor/delivery and had witnessed 2 other natural births (yeah, she was no help- just obsessed with getting my blood pressure), my dad (the only healthy family member), and for the last hour my midwife (who as AMAZING- I can't describe the calm wave that came over me once she arrived and could coach/deliver this babe).
I was also positive for strep B so we had to stay the full 48 hours, so DH didn't meet our son until we came home. During my hospital stay, I couldn't leave my room (because of the flu) and as my family was all sick- I didn't really have any visitors- so it was just an odd experience overall.

In ways, it was a beautiful experience - how could the birth of my beautiful boy be anything but wonderful But at the same time I can tell that I am still feeling a lot of sadness and grief over the circumstances. Had I had time to mentally prepare I am sure it wouldn't have been so shocking for me. It sucks that we didn't get to have the exact birth that we had wanted, but at least we were able to go unmedicated with no complications. The clueless nurse even thanked me for allowing her to witness such a beautiful birth.

For now, I am trying to stay focused on the positives- we have a healthy son, we are all home and perhaps because of the lack of visitors- we have been able to just focus on relaxing and healing, we ARE all regaining our health, and I had a ton of 1-1 time with our newborn that I probably wouldn't have had otherwise.

It has been fun to see how many babes have arrived in the past week- Congratulations to all!

[Spiralshell]

I am so sorry that you had to be in such isolation for his birth, but hooray that he's here and healthy!
Congratulations!!

[Serenyd]

Congrats on the new baby! Glad everyone is feeling better and on the road to recovery.

[beautifulnm]

Congrats on your little boy

[threadbey]

Wow, what a story! I am so sorry your dh missed it. It sounds like you had a wonderful labor and delivery, considering, but it is still totally reasonable that you would have some grief to work through about it. Hopefully in the end it will be an interesting story for your babe - the 2009 swine flu...

Hope you're all having a lovely bonding time at home now.

[brinalicious]

Congratulations on the birth of your son! I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I had to be in isolation after my daughter's birth, and it is a very strange experience. Luckily my mom and husband were able to be with me, but everyone who entered my room had to wear masks and gowns, and everything that left my room had to be put in a biohazard bag. It was very surreal. PM me if you want to chat about it more. I'm still trying to process my experience too. Anyway, cheers to our healthy babies!