Please, advice from all-- end of my rope :(

[lisa1008]

Hi Everyone,

I have been breastfeeding my DD for 15 months but I am so frustrated. I have put on so much weight, I am heavier than I was when I was pregnant, and I gained 45 pounds pregnant. Sometimes, I can lose about 10 lbs. then plateau and regain in a couple days. DD wants to nurse all night, so I am sure this no sleep is affecting my metabolism.
I want to nurse until at least 20 months but I am so unhappy. I just want to lose weight and sleep all night and keep my shirt on for more than an hour (she nurses alot during the day too). I look terrible, I feel terrible and tired and just want to feel like before, but I don't want to wean right now, I can't even say no at night because she freaks out! Moms, help me

Lisa

[Megan73]

Have you considered nightweaning? It sounds like you want to keep breastfeeding but just need a break
I've heard good things about Dr. Jay Gordon's method but you could also just have your partner tackle the nighttime parenting for a while.
I'm sure weight gain can be driven by hormones and lack of sleep, but I found that I also got into bad habits while on maternity leave for a year that could have caused weight gain - such as going out for coffee and a brownie with my mommy friends or ordering take out because I was too tired. Could that be part of the problem with you?
Maybe if you get more sleep at night you'll have more energy for long walks with your LO strapped to your back!

[lisa1008]

I really want to nightwean but everytime I try, she wakes herself every 15 minutes sobbing until I give in and I evenutally give in because I am so tired. The thing is, I am not sure she is drinking I feel like she is using me as a pacifier while she sleeps. How did you nightwean?

[Megan73]

I'm sorry - I don't think my experience will be helpful because it was pretty much painless. At 14 months he only very occasionally - like once a week - needs to nurse to settle again in the night.
BUT I have heard good things about Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweaning method.
I'd suggest asking for nightweaning advice in the breastfeeding beyond infancy forum. Could your partner pitch in to do some extra nighttime parenting while you get over this hump?
Here are some links that seem helpful:
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html
Good luck, mama.

[woodchick]

Here's the link for Dr Jay Gordon's gentle nightweaing article.

You may also want to read "The No Cry Sleep Solution". I have found both of these resources to be helpful in their own ways.

[leafwood]

i was right there with you 5 years ago after dd was born. i was overtired and felt so bad. i wanted to try and take charge of things and nothing i did helped for more than a month and that just contributed to me feeling worse which led to eating worse etc etc. i joined weight watchers with 2 other mom's i met in a playgroup. i dropped 20 pounds in 3 months. it was consistent weight loss, i felt amazing and i continued to nurse round the clock (which actually allowed me to burn lots of extra calories). i worked it out with dh to attend an early saturady morning ww meeting and go to workout 2x a week for 30min. i used their "core" plan which was all about healthy eating and not measuring (which i didn't have the time or patience for). that's what let me feel good. no processed foods, lots of water, and i had something to stick to.

fwiw, i am not a dieter and i had never even considered ww before then. after i lost the 20 and maintained it i did the plan independenlty 2 years later and it was really great. life skills i guess.

hope this is helpful!

[Lovumms333238]

If you think its the lack of sleep that's affecting your weight you should definitely try a flexible routine of feeding time. This worked out GREAT for my sister in laws second DD and I'm sure it could work for you too!

I am reading an excellent book called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. Although I do not agree with everything the book says I do agree with the main concept of the book, the E.A.S.Y. method. That stands for
Eat, Activity, Sleep, & You Time. The author presents this as the sensible compromise between the Ferber method of leaving a child to cry in bed, and the co-sleeping approach where a child is allowed in his parents' bed until he asks to be moved. I think if you were to put your DD on this plan it could totally help both of you sleep at night. My instinct tells me that she's not really feeding at night, but like you said using you as a pacifier because that's what she's used to before bedtime. Again, I definitely recommend this book but you can go to her website too
http://www.babywhisperer.com/babywhisperer.html
They also have a forum there similar to this that can answer a lot of your questions! They have a FAQ section about the EASY method too.
I hope this helps!!