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16 year old caught smoking pot by the cops... - Page 3

post #41 of 96
You guys are missing the point. The op is saying that this girl was caught by the cops with something illegal. It doesn't really matter if YOU think it's OK or not. It's still illegal.

In some states it's illegal to babysit anybody's kids more than two days in a row (even for free) without getting a daycare license. Even if it's just a favor to a friend. It's a stupid law. Yet, it's still a law.

If you don't like a law, change it. Until then you are expected to follow that law, or face the consequenses. If this girl gets caught again, she will have to face some pretty severe consequenses. It's great that you would all happily support her, but that won't actually help her much.
post #42 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
You guys are missing the point. The op is saying that this girl was caught by the cops with something illegal. It doesn't really matter if YOU think it's OK or not. It's still illegal.
oh, I get that. But it sounded like the cops let the teen go with a warning (?)

I think our point is that breaking the law isn't always a punishable offense.

And surely, getting away with smoking pot (legally and without grounding from parents) does NOT lead to a I can do anything I want with no regards to others or the law, mentality... which is what a PP made it sound like with the speeding example.
post #43 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

I think our point is that breaking the law isn't always a punishable offense.
Exactly that. Just because something is illegal doesn't mean you should punish your kids for doing it. If you really don't agree with the law then it seems absurd to me to punish your child for doing something you have nothing against just because the guys making the laws disagree with you.
post #44 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
Another dangers of pot.... not the government... if you have a hang up with the government....

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/evidenc.../Health_1.html
Propaganda.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
You guys are missing the point. The op is saying that this girl was caught by the cops with something illegal. It doesn't really matter if YOU think it's OK or not. It's still illegal.

In some states it's illegal to babysit anybody's kids more than two days in a row (even for free) without getting a daycare license. Even if it's just a favor to a friend. It's a stupid law. Yet, it's still a law.

If you don't like a law, change it. Until then you are expected to follow that law, or face the consequenses. If this girl gets caught again, she will have to face some pretty severe consequenses. It's great that you would all happily support her, but that won't actually help her much.
And if you read Dar's post that everyone agreed with, it was said that most people would talk to their child and discuss the consequences of being caught with pot and what it could do to the child's future. No one said there were no consequences.. most people said that the mom in the OP went way overboard. And personally in my opinion iis going to drive the child further away and more into drugs. Over bearing, control freak parents often do that.
post #45 of 96
We've kind of swerved off the OP here, and all these more recent posts are a debate about how "dangerous" pot really is. So it's not really that we're all 'missing the point' as much as the point of the thread has morphed a little.
post #46 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
This Monday morning I just sat down with a large group (30)of parents of teens at my child's school. In Oregon, lots of these parents themselves grew up in "herb friendly" households. All of them agreed that once you bend the law for pot... it is very easy not go the speed limit.. ignore the underage drinking laws and other little annoying laws. Because you can. Because you get into the habit of thinking laws don't apply to you or the law is dumb. That's an attitude I won't tolerate my children having while they live under my roof.
Interesting. Everybody I knew who smoked pot was breaking the underage drinking laws first. I did both. I never got a license as a teen, because I found the responsibility of a car too overwhelming. I highly doubt I would have broken the speed limit. Actually - I broke laws that were set up to protect me from myself without a second's hesitation. That didn't mean I thought I had the right to break other people's stuff, hurt people, etc.

And, the law against pot is dumb. It's virtually unenforceable and doesn't serve any protective purpose whatsoever. It's dumb. I'll tolerate that belief from my kids, because I'm not going to pretend the law isn't stupid when it is.

Oh - and ds1 completely agrees with me about the anti-pot laws being stupid. But, he doesn't smoke it. He thinks kids (teens) who do drugs are idiots, and can't believe his own mom was that dumb. So...beliefs about the law itself don't necessarily mean much.

As for the parents who grew up in "herb friendly" households? I knew a few of them, too. Most of them had very permissive parents, and were very much raised with the belief that they were more important than the people around them, and should be able to do whatever the heck they wanted to do. A couple of them did have an attitude problem - but I don't think it had anything to do with the actual smoking of pot.


ETA: I just caught up on the thread. re: the legality of pot. I quit smoking it almost 20 years ago, so I don't pay attention these days. I can say that it was illegal when I was a teenager...and I never saw anybody get any flack from the cops for it, unless they were caught with at least a quarter ounce. Even then, it was usually a talking to and that was that.
post #47 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
Pot is a big deal. Once you break the law by smoking pot... you may get on a slippery slope of doing other illegal activities. Because once you break one little law and don't get caught.. why not break another? Laws exist to protect all of us from harm.

P.S. I've recently become a Master Gardener.... pot is in our book of poisonous plants.
I have to mostly agree here! Why is pot NOT a big deal?! Whether or not you personaly feel it is right or not, it is ILLEGAL in the U.S.! So your child should not be allowed to do it! Period.
If your teen broke some other law would you be just as leinent? While I don't 100% agree that smoking pot will make you break other laws I do believe it is illegal for a reason and that this law needs to be followed just like any other.
And if this were my teen I would ask for a more stern sentence rather than nothing. Maybe community service somewhere she didn't want to be. ANd I would definitely keep the phone and $ and privelages to a minimum because she not only broke a rule but a law.
post #48 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
Another dangers of pot.... not the government... if you have a hang up with the government....

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/evidenc.../Health_1.html
Of course there are side effects to smoking pot. I don't think anyone here was saying otherwise.

There are also side effects to drinking large amounts of soda. I think diabetes and obesity are killing more people than pot is, and there are no laws about prohibiting corn syrup.

See, what we're saying is not that pot is good for you....we're saying that laws don't always make sense.
post #49 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dar View Post
I'd have a long talk with her about the importance of being smart about where and with whom she smokes and point out all of the things that could go wrong if she gets arrested for drugs.
same thing!
post #50 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Interesting. Everybody I knew who smoked pot was breaking the underage drinking laws first.
Same here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
And, the law against pot is dumb.
So is the underage drinking law, IMO.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride
Oh - and ds1 completely agrees with me about the anti-pot laws being stupid. But, he doesn't smoke it. He thinks kids (teens) who do drugs are idiots....
My kids, as well. For them, a party would mean a keg of root beer.

Spending money on pot would mean less money for video games.
post #51 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
If you don't like a law, change it. Until then you are expected to follow that law, or face the consequenses.
It's rare that a law gets changed by people following it. Progress needs dissent. Of course there will be consequences; it's the brave people who change laws. Like Rosa Parks.
post #52 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Um... Wow... That's even more expansive then they usual pertaining to pot, and sorry but no. Just because someone doesn't get caught smoking pot doesn't mean they are more likely to commit other crimes. More likely those who are most likely to not get caught smoking pot are those who are all ready pre-inclided towards other criminal behaviour.

Never have met someone who said "Dude, we didn't get caught smoking weed so lets go rob a bank!"

Just so you know, slippery slope arguments relating to pot have been pretty much discreteded.
in my experience those who are more inclined to other criminal behavior DO get caught...for other things and in the process get caught with pot or some other drug.

but i've known many many potheads...as a teen and as an adult. and you're right...those who smoke aren't necessarily criminals.

anyway...i haven't read all the responses, but my general feeling is at 16 i would talk with them about the consequences of smoking and getting caught. MAKE SURE they are on no other drugs, that includes cigarettes and alcohol. I would try to get an honest answer about how much they smoke...and if it's an unhealthy amount, I would request that they slow down. Especially if he/she is having a hard time at school/home/socially.

Pot doesn't effect kids the way it effects adults. As an adult I truly believe in the idea of medicinal marijuana. But for kids, it can be harmful to the developing brain.
post #53 of 96
and as for getting caught with pot being an unfathomable destructive force which will ruin you forever...

dh was caught twice with pot.
me once.
friend once.
brother twice.
friend twice.

none of us have ever been brought up on drug charges. we always got the charges amended down (and this is in a mandatory minimum sentencing state!!!) and the MOST I've heard of anyone being penalized was my husband who had $2,000 fines and 100 hours community service--and he enjoyed that part.

of course, the fact that we are all suburban white kids probably had VERY much to do with that. and that is a whole other can of worms.
post #54 of 96
Mom is conveying that she cares more about maintaining control than she does about her daughter's well-being (even though this may be the furthest thing from the truth -- it's how she may come across). The daughter's attention will be focused on what her mother removed rather than how she might best guard her own health and safety.
post #55 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by deny_zoo29 View Post
If your teen broke some other law would you be just as leinent? .
If it's an equally stupid law. YES! For instance, if you are 18 and your BF/GF is 17 it is illegal for you to have sex. I find that stupid and ridiculous and really none of the government's business if they are both consenting AND and the age difference is only a few years. (not say 10.)

Quote:
163.445 Sexual misconduct. (1) A person commits the crime of sexual misconduct if the person engages in sexual intercourse or deviate sexual intercourse with an unmarried person under 18 years of age.

(2) Sexual misconduct is a Class C misdemeanor.
post #56 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
If it's an equally stupid law. YES! For instance, if you are 18 and your BF/GF is 17 it is illegal for you to have sex. I find that stupid and ridiculous and really none of the government's business if they are both consenting AND and the age difference is only a few years. (not say 10.)
I don't know how many of these are true, but there's some really stupid laws out there that were just never repealed...for instance: http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...n_arizona.html

I guess I wouldn't punish my daughter for wearing pants, either...
post #57 of 96
That 17/18 sex law drives me nuts. I'm older than my DH and we were each other's first. His mother made a really scary joke when I visited him the first time and turned 18 about how she could prosecute me for statutory rape. She really didn't like me at the time and was trying to warm up to me (that whole "taking away my baby" thing) but holy crap was I ever scared for my life!

... still didn't stop me from having sex though.
post #58 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by deny_zoo29 View Post
I have to mostly agree here! Why is pot NOT a big deal?! Whether or not you personaly feel it is right or not, it is ILLEGAL in the U.S.! So your child should not be allowed to do it! Period.
If your teen broke some other law would you be just as leinent? While I don't 100% agree that smoking pot will make you break other laws I do believe it is illegal for a reason and that this law needs to be followed just like any other.
1. The argument is very legalist argument. (hmm wonder if maybe that's where the word comes from ) Follow the law just because it's the law. In our house we don't place high value on the unquestioned obedience to authority.

2. There are plenty of laws I would be lenient on, there are plenty of laws I wouldn't be so lenient on. Along the lines of age of consent laws, Canada has a two year age discrepency between age of consent and the age of consent for a certain sexual act that unfairly criminalizes a specific portion of the population. It's been determined unconstitutional by two courts in Canada, but it's still the law. I will not, however, require either of my children to follow that specific law simply because the very nature of it is discriminatory.

3. Pot is illegal for one reason, and one reason only... Money! Too many big important people will loose too much money if pot is made legal, and I'm not talking about the dealers.
post #59 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
I don't know how many of these are true, but there's some really stupid laws out there that were just never repealed...for instance: http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...n_arizona.html

I guess I wouldn't punish my daughter for wearing pants, either...
In BC it's illegal to hunt sasquatch. Even if you don't find him.
post #60 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
In BC it's illegal to hunt sasquatch. Even if you don't find him.
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