3-year-old(s) waking up 3 hours after going to sleep

[OGirlieMama]

OK, it's not both of them every night, but many nights it is. And one of them has been waking up every. single. night. between 3 and 3.5 hours after falling asleep. They sleep in a queen bed in their own bedroom, together. But when they wake up at night, they join us in our bed. I don't mind that when it happens after I've gone to bed. But when they go to sleep at 7:30 or 8:00 I'm usually just finished cleaning up or working on a project and then hitting my relaxation point at 10:30-11. I find myself hoping to watch a tiny bit of TV while lying in my bed before I go to sleep, and 10 minutes later a little urchin staggers in clutching her bear and her little pillow. It's starting to make me insane. I try and get her back in her bed, tell her I'll lie with her in there until she falls asleep (which is how they go to sleep in the first place) and no dice - she wants to be in my bed, and she wants me there.

Maybe I'm just venting because I can't really imagine an actual solution here. But I'd love to hear one. It'll probably pass, as I think we've had bouts of this in the past, but I'd love to help it along. I don't mind lying down with my kids to get them to sleep. I don't mind having them join me overnight if they wake up feeling lonely/scared. I do mind this.

[rzberrymom]

My 4 1/2 year old very often wakes up at 3 hours on the dot--it's usually related to having to pee, and if I take her to the potty she goes right back to sleep.

[BetsyPage]

My 3 yo typically wakes up 45-90 minutes after I put her to sleep, which really annoys me... but she's also been waking up a bit later too (maybe about 3 hours) because she wants to pee. Also annoying, considering she likes to sleep in footie PJ's and it's quite an ordeal to get her undressed!

[OGirlieMama]

BetsyPage, I get the 45-60 minute wakeup sometimes, too, but that seems to be brief and they usually stay in their own bed for that one.

I usually ask whenever they wake up if they have to pee, and sometimes they actually will, but most of the time, not so much. I do notice that the times they pee, they generally are willing to go back to their bed for a while. Otherwise it's my room or no room.

They also wake up a few times even in my bed, either scared of something (nightmares?) or just chattering randomly. I really didn't think I'd still be dealing with multiple night wakings from each child at age 3.5.

[Deir]

You could most likely get her to stay in her bed if you were really patient and persistent and just calmly kept putting her back. The problem is- and i am having this with my 4 yr old right now- who feels like doing that at night? I'm sure you are so tired and worn out at the end of the day that you just want to sleep how ever it works. But I think you could do it if you had the energy! Habits will change if you are determined and calm. I know theer is coming a point where I have to do something because we have a new baby coming and I CAN'T have new baby and thrashing 4 yr old in my bed.

[alfabetsoup]

My 3yo does this too. I find if I can get her to pee and then hustle her into my bed, she goes to sleep easily and I can leave. She's a heavy sleeper though, and doesn't wake up when I come to bed later--or if she does, goes back to sleep with a little cuddle. I use a clip on book light if I want to read in bed when she's there.

If you really want your DDs in their own bed until later, I would force the issue a bit, as PP said, just keep putting them back calmly. "We're going to sleep in your bed now. It's time for sleeping." Lather rinse repeat.

[OGirlieMama]

I think Deirdre hit it on the head - I just don't have the energy to fight that battle at night, after 4 years of consistently not sleeping through the night (I count the later months of my pregnancy in that!) Plus if I bring her back to her bed when she wants to be in mine, she invariably cries, and then she wakes up her sister, and then I have a whole world of hurt to deal with. And like I said, it's not a big deal to have them in bed with us, I just would like to avoid the 3-hour wakeup that has suddenly become the new normal.

Last night Katie called me from the top of the steps at 10:45, and I noticed she had no pillow or bear, so I asked if she needed to use the toilet. She said yes, peed, and then when we walked out of the bathroom, I was shocked to see her heading towards her room. I thought to myself about how I'd update this post to say that maybe some magic had happened. Five minutes later she reappeared in my room with bear and pillow. I think she was just confused after peeing.