why is it so hard?

[JillyD]

I tried so hard to EBF both my kids. I had to supplement with my daughter at 3 months. With my son, I lasted until 6 months. Honestly, I am still not sure what happened but he started gaining too slowly. At first, it was just 4 oz, now we are up to almost 15 oz a day. I have tried all sorts of things and nothing seems to be helping.

I hate the feeling of putting formula into a bottle to give to him. I hate the idea that I don't (for whatever reason) make enough milk for him. I hate that I am so frustrated by the fact that I don't produce enough milk. I hate that sometimes I seem to have plenty of milk and other times I have almost none. I hate that I have to bring formula with me when I leave the house just in case he gets hungry. I hate that I feel like a failure even though I told myself if I needed to supplement this time, I would be okay with it. I hate that I have to explain to everyone I know (who all seem to have tons and tons of milk) that I just don't make enough. I hate that I can't tell them why or what happened. I hate that I feel i have "contaminated" him with formula. I hate that I can't seem to "get over this" and move on.

I know things could be worse and I am thankful for the BF relationship we have. But, I still cringe every time I see him happily sucking on a bottle. It just feels so wrong to me. DH tries to be supportive (and he is) but I think it really bums him out that our kids aren't EBF. He doesn't blame me and always supports me but I know he hates it too. Why is it so hard to be okay with this? I mean, I just want to give DS what he needs and feels so wrong that I can't do that.

[ewe+lamb]

OK, my question to you is, do you want him 100% at the breast?
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If your answer is yes - then it's possible, hard work but completely possible.

If you are not sure then take time to think about it and don't read the rest of my post, if the answer is no you have to find it in yourself to accept that which has arisen - not easy for you it would seem, but accept that this is what you can do at this point in time for your baby and your family.




If the answer is yes - read on - if not sure or no - please do not read!

There are certain things that you will need to do to make this work and one or two things that you may have to buy.

First of all, I'd find out where your nearest LLL group is and go to a meeting, you're going to need all the help, information, support and encouragement you can get your hands on.

Get a Lactaid or SNS (Supplemental Nursing System), eat oatmeal, take fenugrec (only if you are not pg), blessed thistle, domperidone (on prescription from dr), look up dr jack newman's tea for augmenting milk supply (www.drjacknewman.com) arm yourself with a wrap long enough that you can nurse in (6m is the length I recommend to women) for making a double cross and being able to keep baby at the right height to make nursing easy.

Do some research on a fully functioning breast - understand the concept of supply and demand, if this seems doable to you then yes go for it and the extra bonus is that you have MDC to support and be there for you too!

PM or post again if you need any other information.

[Megan73]

What Ewe+Lamb said is spot-on.
It is HARD to struggle with these feelings. I've BTDT.
But while your baby may not be exclusively breastmilk fed, he can be exclusively breastfed. Get a Lact-Aid, start domperidone and nurse, nurse, nurse. Ditch those bottles - they are likely sabotaging your supply - and don't look back!
Good luck, mama. We're here for you!