does anyone else's kid "fight" sleep? what to do???

[tzs]

i just thought my almost 6 week old didn't really nap during the day, except for the afternoon when in the car and on errands in the car seat. and i just thought she was naturally a little fussy (i'd describe both myself and my husband as "fussy"..in an adult way)

until yesterday i had put her in her crib to get dressed and as usual when you put her down she cries. but in the couple minutes until i could get to her she had passed out. but then as she usually does when she realizes she's in her crib, she wakes up and starts crying again. so i calmed her until i could put her back in and went to use the bathroom.

same thing happens, she cries, by the time i get back she's passed out, i watch her, she wakes up again, cries, but i just watch her. she's tired. she cries for like a minute, passes out, but then realizes she's sleeping, eyes open but are totally rolled back in her head, obviously tired, cries, passes out again. the crying is not steady, not the usual crying, it's like she's falling asleep in between. so again...instead of picking her up like usual i just watch, shush her, put my hand on her. this goes on several times until she falls into a really good nap. the first one she's had outside of the carseat and the car.

i tell this to my mother who says that i also fought sleeping and she had always jsut picked me up when i fussed until my grandmother saw what was going on and told her i was just overtired and she let me cry a little and i slept.

so what's the deal? this sleep book i have says that newborns always sleep when they need and can;t get overtired (really? is this true???.) but she really seems to fight it. the crying seemed to finally push her over the edge into lala land. i want her to get good naps. i don;t want her to be fussy and overtired. i know "crying it out" is bad, but i don't even know really what the theory entails. is that what i was doing??? but whatever it was it worked.

[confustication]

Crying it out, imo, entails putting them down and leaving them until they fall asleep- but for other people it may mean something different. Six weeks is still SO tiny that I wouldn't worry too much about naps- I know it's a rare thing when Keagan sleeps on his own, he really needs the contact and movement of being held to sleep well most of the time- so I pop him in the moby and we're great.

About 6 months of age is when I start doing what you describe- I don't feel like my kids have been ready before then. We don't do CIO, but we do encourage them to sleep on their own (at least for naps) by about 6 months.

I don't know that they're 'fighting sleep' so much as looking for the contact and comfort they truly need at just a few weeks of age.

[tzs]

that makes sense, i thought she fought it b/c it was more interesting or something to be awake but maybe it is a contact thing, b/c she is a kid that will not be out of your arms and be happy.

[2boyzmama]

I do think there is a difference between "crying" it out, and "settling" themselves. It might be a bit early at only 6 weeks, but we also ignore the "fussing" or "settling" when we lay down an older infant. If it ever gets to real "crying", we do just what you did...pat their backs, rub their tummies, shush them, run our hands through their hair while making loving sounds, etc until they drift off to sleep. If that doesn't work after a few minutes, or if the crying intensifies instead of lessening, then we pick them up and wear them down in a sling or offer another feeding.

[Julia24]

Was she swaddled when she was lying down? Honestly - mine have all done exactly what you described unless they're tightly swaddled. Then they do the initial fussing - but immediately fall into a good sleep after that.

Also - I DO think some babies fight sleep that early. Maddie did, and I didn't understand it at the time, but then Grace would just get tired and drift off to sleep - it was so peaceful. Now, charlotte is just like Maddie, it's like she's missing that mechanism that is supposed to make them just 'shut down' when they're overstimulated or tired. Instead she just gets more and more geared up, yk? So - she needs to be PUT to sleep. This 8 week old baby takes ALL her naps (unless we're out) IN her bed. She WANTS to be there. When she tires, she cries until you take her to her room and then her whole body relaxes (now that she's been doing it a couple weeks). I finally stopped fighting her on it. (I used to try to keep her with me - in the sling, mei tai or in the swing...just nearby to the rest of the family...she wants NO part of it. The kid wants her nice comfy bed and some restful sleep).

She's usually awake somewhere between 45 to 90 minutes (generally closer to the 45 minute end of it), then when she starts yawning or acting fussy, I take her upstairs, swaddle her, and try to rock her a bit....she often just cries at me, so I'll put her in bed. Sometimes she stops immediately and goes right to sleep, sometimes she does the fussing thing and then goes to sleep, and other times instead of winding down she winds up, so I go back to her and pick her up and try to soothe her back down again. This just repeats until she goes to sleep. This is my 3rd kid and this method has always worked for me.