A Deschooling Concern

[Shirada]

Yep, it's me again

I have taken the advice of many here, and my DD's and I are currently in the deschooling phase of our homeschooling journey.

One of my many fears about it, (), is that if we do it for too long the girls will not want to get back to more schooly stuff. I can imagine that happening, particularly with my ( preteen-got-serious-attitude 9 year old).

[possum]

Can you be a little more specific about what you think your children will *miss* without schooly stuff? It is really hard to let go of the notion that doing schooly stuff is the way we learn or at least the way we learn certain things. Maybe someone has specific experience to share about your particular concerns.
It may help you feel better about your journey to log/journal/bolg about the things you observe your kids learning and doing daily. I do this for my toddler son and it constantly amazes me all the interesting learning things he does every day.
Melinda

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by possum

Can you be a little more specific about what you think your children will *miss* without schooly stuff? It is really hard to let go of the notion that doing schooly stuff is the way we learn or at least the way we learn certain things. Maybe someone has specific experience to share about your particular concerns.
It may help you feel better about your journey to log/journal/bolg about the things you observe your kids learning and doing daily. I do this for my toddler son and it constantly amazes me all the interesting learning things he does every day.

I think this is very well put! You know what? - it's unlikely that they'll ever want to get back to more schooly stuff! But the fear of missing things without the schooly stuff tends to dissipate as you see things getting learned in more natural ways connected to real world activities and interests that will start to come along. I do understand your anxiety, though - I wish I could offer a magic word that could make it go poof! - but keeping things happenin' is the key. You don't want to fall into the trap of eventually just hanging out and waiting for them to suddenly develop driving interests - you need to be modeling and leading an active and curiosity-driven life that offers them lots of possibilities.

Reading will help - a great read is Viral Learning: Reflections on the Homeschooling Life. Another is The Unschooling Handbook - How to Use the Whole World As Your Child's Classroom. I'm NOT saying that unschooling is the only good answer at all - just that exploring some of what people have reported about their success in that path can still help with anxieties about more eclectic ones.

Do keep posting your questions and concerns as they come up - you have a lot of people here who will be ready with support. - Lillian

[Shirada]

It may help you feel better about your journey to log/journal/bolg about the things you observe your kids learning and doing daily.

I think that is a good idea. I was actually doing something like that in the beginning, but that was when I was trying to get them to do standard curriculum stuff. Even then, I was surprised how much we had actually accomplished. Thanks for the reminder that I should start it up again with the fun stuff we are doing .

but keeping things happenin' is the key. You don't want to fall into the trap of eventually just hanging out and waiting for them to suddenly develop driving interests - you need to be modeling and leading an active and curiosity-driven life that offers them lots of possibilities.

Lillian, you have described my exact concern. I am worried that without some kind of structure, I/we will just hang in limbo, not making much happen. My constantly having to counteract their negativity, will be such a strain that I will be too demotivated to foster curiosity. On the other hand, I imagine that my anxiety about that, will in fact act as a driving force to offer them possibilities. I can see how very easily it would be to fall into that trap, (I sometimes feel that I am already at risk).

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Shirada

Lillian, you have described my exact concern. I am worried that without some kind of structure, I/we will just hang in limbo, not making much happen. My constantly having to counteract their negativity, will be such a strain that I will be too demotivated to foster curiosity. On the other hand, I imagine that my anxiety about that, will in fact act as a driving force to offer them possibilities. I can see how very easily it would be to fall into that trap, (I sometimes feel that I am already at risk).

Shirada, I honestly don't think the negativity will go on and on - a lot of it probably has to do with resistance to the idea of home being a school. In your other thread you said:

The girls ask to listen to the SOTW CD in the car and enjoy reading to themselves and enjoy the book we are reading aloud, (The Secret Garden).

I asked them both independently what they would enjoy learning about "anything in the world" and of course their first response was "I don't know," but then my oldest DD said she wanted to do lots of cooking and this morning my younger DD came up to me and told me she wanted to do lots of science experiments.

That isn't "schooly" stuff - but it's nonetheless learning stuff, and it will continue and grow. A lot of children who go to school are not enjoying and taking in history and reading in the same way or starting to explore science and cooking. Give yourself and your girls credit for getting off to a pretty darned nice start - the hard part seems to have been when you (quite understandably, given the background most of us have) tried to use more school-like ways of incorporating learning It's not as if workbooks and texts can't eventually, effectively, be part of their overall learning process at various points, but it's important to get a sense of how many other ways learning and growth can naturally pass through their lives without it resembling school methods. And the more they trust you to trust them, the more those things can keep flourishing without there being a knee jerk reaction on their part to hold back. But right now, your job is to put worries aside and just enjoy!

Almost forgot to add: Try looking once more at the very end of the video you watched earlier - scroll clear down the page to the "Summary" segment - where a longtime college teacher talks about the success her three daughters have had with a very relaxed homeschooling experience based on maintaining a trusting relationship and love of learning. It's a very powerful piece.
Lillian