difficult situation: newborn, older brother and me

[transylvania_mom]

I really need help, suggestions, advice, anything... Dd is 2 weeks old and ds is 4.5 y/o and I have to handle both of them full time. Dd is very attached to me, sleeps only on me (I could put her down for - maybe - an hour today); ds needs to challenge and negociate everything I tell him to do. He loves his sister, wants to kiss her every five minutes, is constantly hovering over her... which makes me very nervous and I end up by yelling at him, which I don't want to do...
I have almost no help from dh, he works full time and goes to school part time and is in the middle of his midterms right now. My MIL will be here next month and she will be staying with us and help us with the children, but in the meantime, how do I handle ds? He really needs my attention and wants to be around dd, but always ends up by making too much noise and waking her up although he doesn't mean to. I don't want to yell at him and push him away all the time.
I don't know if my post makes sense. I'm exhausted, today I had to carry and nurse dd all day while keeping ds busy. Thanks for listening.

[Meems]

I think I would try a few things...

When the baby is sleeping, i would consider moving the babe to another room and using a monitor so she won't be disturbed by the noise and commotion.

When the baby is asleep, maybe your DS could do some quiet crafts? Play in his room/ playroom?

I would also try putting the baby in a sling so you don't feel like you're constantly having to "hold" her.

I would explain often the times your son can hold and cuddle the baby. Provide opportunities for him to hold the baby while awake or sleeping to give your DS some time to "fill his cup" with baby sister so he isn't constantly wanting to touch her.

[JL83]

I'd get a wrap and put the baby in that and then pay attention to your son.

Remember that your baby has been hearing your DS in utero for the last many months. She's used to him. Newborns need so little, just to be warm, dry and fed. With something like a wrap you'd have both hands free.

[AbbieB]

Originally Posted by JL83

I'd get a wrap and put the baby in that and then pay attention to your son.

Remember that your baby has been hearing your DS in utero for the last many months. She's used to him. Newborns need so little, just to be warm, dry and fed. With something like a wrap you'd have both hands free.

Wraps and slings are a life saver!

My DD was like your son when her brother was born. Still is to a certain extent. I kept him in a sling or wrap as much as possible. He was fine, in fact I think he slept better that way no matter what the noise was.

I also went to the park, zoo, aquarium, mall, long walks, wherever, to get out of the house and keep DD busy and distracted a lot in those early months. I would have preferred more of a baby moon but DD was just so persistent in wanting to be all over her brother that I had to do something.