Sleep issues (six month old)

[Artisticmama]

Hello! Let's see, where do I start? I am a single mom to a six month old baby boy. I am also a full time university student. My son's father and I were together for two years and when I was 7 mos. pregnant, he ran off. He doesn't pay child support and doesn't come around. To save money, I moved into my parents house. It is good and bad at the same time. I am saving money because my mom watches my son while I go to class, so I don't have to pay for child care. But the negative part is that my parents and I have complete different ideas when it comes to child raising. I believe in attachment parenting. My parents are the "put the baby down to cry it out" types. Also, my parents believe that crying is manuipulative. I don't believe babies can be spoiled EVER and that they cry to communicate their needs and feelings. My son and I co-sleep everynight. And we have a system that has been working up until recently, when I started the fall term.

What I had been doing:

Everynight, I nursed, cuddled, and rocked my baby boy to sleep. After he was good and out, I put him in his crib for about 2 hours while I did all my homework for college. Then, I would go back to his room and pull him out of his crib and into the bed with me for the rest of the night. Usually, he would wake up at about midnight and again around 4 or 5am for two nightly feedings. We normally would get out of bed between 8 and 9.

LATELY:
I nurse, cuddle, and rock my baby to sleep. I put him in the crib and he wakes up scared. I pull him out immediatly and cuddle with him some more. Then, he falls asleep and I put him in the crib, and he wakes up again. This goes on for about an hour to two hours. Finally, I will get him to sleep and I get about an hour or two of school work in. Occasionally, he wakes up one or two times during my homework stretch. I believe his sleep issues are because I am not home 24/7 now (school two days a week for 8+ hours). Between the time I pull him into my bed and the time we get up in the morning (8 or 9ish), he wakes up about 5 or 6 times for feedings. He keeps trying to fill up and nurse all night. And then during the day, he doens't want to nurse much (when my mom offers him a bottled of my pumped milk, he refuses too).

My issue is that I am getting drained from him nursing all night long and waking up so much. I don't want to blame it on being a single mom, but I know that I don't have the support I need. My parents don't help and I can't ask them to because we just get into arguments. I have tried to explain my ideas of parenting to them and they get upset with me because they feel I don't think they did a good job with raising me, which is not the case at all. I just am not about to put my son down in a crib by himself to cry it out all night. When he wakes up during his naps or during "momma's study session", my parents insist I let him cry it out and fall asleep on his own. In my heart, it just doesn't feel right. So I don't let him do that. I go upstairs and get him when I hear him stirring and I rock him back to sleep. When we are co-sleeping and he wakes up wanting to eat, I let him. Basically, I am alone in the house when it comes to my ideas and therefore, if I want to co-sleep and practice attachment parenting, it is all on me.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do about my son's many nightly wakings and nursings? I am getting drained and the school term has only just begun. How can I encourage him to sleep more during the night time and nurse more during the day? What does a typical (not saying my son is typical or not typical) six month old's sleep pattern look like?

[LadyCatherine185]

mama. I cannot imagine being a single parent to a young baby. You are doing such a great job meeting your baby's needs.. you are amazing!

What your DS is doing is very normal. I think part of it may be some separation anxiety, as 6 months is usually the heightened time for that. My 14 mo still wakes anywhere from 5-10 times a night so I don't really have any advice for you on that...... but--

what if you try nursing him to sleep in your bed, and then just rolling away once he is asleep? this way you don't have to transfer him at all once he is asleep, and maybe he will stay asleep better? This is the only way I can get away once DS is asleep. I put pillows along the edges of the bed so that he doens't fall off, and I have a moniter on so I can hear him the second he wakes up. This works much better for us, so maybe you could try it. Also, maybe a fan or white-noise machine, so that he doesn't hear you trying to get out of the bed? Any way you could do your studying/homework on the bed beside him as well?

[MelW]

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My six month old had learned to crawl in the past few weeks, and I'm certain that it has heightened her mama radar. She will not sleep for more than a couple of minutes without me right next to her. I used to put her in a crib for a couple of hours in the evening, but now I just can't. Same for nursing to sleep in bed and sneaking away.

Currently, I nurse her to sleep, then keep her sleeping in my lap while I work on the computer, read books, etc. Sometimes I do this in bed for naps during the day (when my older daughter will let me)- I can sit beside her and do some of my volunteer work on the computer, etc.

Sorry I don't have better advice- it sucks to be in conflict with your parents about the way you care for your son, and to not have the support you need.

Remembering that sleep comes and goes in phases helps me- next week or next month may be much better (and two months from now may be worse )

[firelillylight]

i have a six mo old too and a grad student, but i'm only away for two four hour days....but on those nights when im away during the day she eats ALL NIGHT LONG. i think part of it is that working has sort of broken the routine and she's making up for lost touch time....

i'm also wondering how your parents put LO to nap when you're gone. are they CIO during the day...that could make him more clingy at night i suppose...

just some thoughts. i know its hard to school and mother full time. you're doing a great job though!