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I really don't know what to do with my cat!!

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Hi all,

I am really upset with my cat today. I recently bought my two year olds a small tent from IKEA about a week ago and I sent them to go a play in it. Well, I decided that I was going to go into the tent with them to play and I found pee and poop inside the tent. I think she pooped in it this morning. I was so mad!

This is not the first time nor will it be the last time that this cat peed on my kids stuff. She has peed on their stuff animals, on their curtains, on their Aquadoodle pad, and in their little pool (I found out she was doing it when I found my daughter having a good time splashing around in cat urine. I wanted to drop kick my cat to the moon, but I didn't. I promise I didn't). She has even peed in their crib one time.

She has hit my husband's and my stuff too. If my husband leaves his clothing on the floor she will pee on it (she even peed on the bag he takes to work). She has peed on my new curtains (it was so bad I had to toss them), my bathmat, the laundry basket, my bed (this was along time ago). At our last home, she nearly destroyed the carpeting in the whole house. It became a serious hygiene for the babies at the time. I could not keep up with her. I spent hundreds of dollars on enzyme cleaner and carpet cleaning.

At our new place, she started out good but now she back to her ways. I have taken her to the vet several times and she is in perfect heath. I think the issue is that she is jealous of the kids. She really did start the pooping an peeing until the kids arrived. My husband and I have tried to give her as much attention as is humanly possible but it is not enough. She has always been affectionate (to the point of being needy). We pet and talk to her. The kids pet her and talk to her all the time. We clean her box out every day. My husband makes sure he gets her her favorite canned food every week as a treat and this is what we get in return. We have spoiled this cat!

We are ready to give her up. What would you do? My husband wants to throw her outside or have her euthanized. At first I was against it, but now I am starting to reconsider.
post #2 of 7
One thing you didn't mention was her litter. How many litter boxes do you have for her? How often does it/ do they get cleaned? I have had friends with cats who would refuse to go in a box if there is already poop in there. What do you put in the litter box(es)? (paper, cedar, clumping, clay?)
post #3 of 7
No real advice from me--mainly hugs.

We were thinking about getting a cat again (had 2 some yrs ago that died from old age) but have placed that on hold for a variety of unanswered questions/issues I have. Our previous cats were terrific cats and I didn't have peeing issues with them. Until after DD arrived, I started seeing some problems too. They started going on bath mats and DDs stuff. I'm positive they were jealous of the attention DD was getting. By that time they were in their senior yrs and eventually passed away. But I think they may have continued and it would have gotten much worse if they had many yrs left. Your situation sounds like a jealousy issue too, which is much harder to fix. I think I would ask my vet about professional behavioral training. I hadn't heard of them when I had cats, but I seem to see info about them in a variety of circles.

I can understand why you would consider giving them up. And I think your DH has been more than patient with this situation. I have a compassionate heart for animals, but I could not imagine living with pet urine/feces on my child's things. I would do all I could to try to remedy the situation, but I believe that the well-being of children should come first (not to mention a mom's sanity). (((hugs)))
post #4 of 7
Have you tried something like Feliway or Rescue Remedy? I would definitely give it a shot. It sounds like she is stressed and these remedies help with that. They take a little while to build up and start working, so be patient.
post #5 of 7
Thread Starter 
Someone at PetSmart suggested using Feline phermone plug-ins for her. Has anyone has any experience with these? I am not sure if this will work for her. She is 16 years old (but in excellent health) so I know finding a new home will be next to impossible. We don't want to send her to the local shelter so she will spend her last days in a small cage. We just don't know what to do with her. She really got bad once the twins were born. I also had problems with her about 10-11 years ago when I brought in a young puppy (she peed in my bed). I had the puppy for about 2-3 weeks and returned the puppy to the seller because of my cat and my hectic work schedule (I thought it would cruel to leave a puppy alone for so many hours). After the puppy left, my cat went back to normal. So I know most of the problem is jealousy. ugh.

I might try the Feliway, eventhough my husband thinks they are a waste of money.
post #6 of 7
Really, try thinking of it in terms of routine changes and stress, not jealousy. I've found it makes it much easier to deal with behaviour problems when I assume my pets are just upset and confused rather than purposely trying to annoy me.
post #7 of 7
I don't believe that cats have the ability to be jealous per se. Stress of any kind can trigger both behavioral and medical problems in cats though, and it sounds like this has been a pattern of hers (puppy, kids). Just to be clear, she has had a full blood panel and urinalysis (chemistry and sediment) done at the vet's and not just an exam, right? That's really what needs to be done to be sure she is truly in good health. As long as that all checks out, address the litterbox issues (at least 1 box per cat plus 1 extra), scooped daily (at least) and in a space where she has some privacy and isn't being bothered by kids or other animals when she's trying to use the box.

You might also try some type of anti-anxiety product, like Feliway (which, btw, if you buy it from a vet instead of a pet store, is fully returnable if it doesn't work, so you're not out any money if it doesn't). It should be placed in both the area where she most commonly soils as well as where she spends the most time so she has as much exposure to the phermones as possible. You might also want to try anti-anxiety meds like amitriptyline, buspar, prozac or paxil. Just as with people, sometimes it takes trying a couple different ones before you find the right one and also it usually takes several weeks to see the full effect. I hope you find something that works so you can all live more happily together!
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