We have made our decision.

[purplemamaturtle5]

When I found out I was pregnant we were so certain we were having a girl that I didnt even stop to think about circ. But when we found out that we were having another boy my husband and I decided to do things differently this time. We have decided NOT to circ!! My whole life up until about year ago I never really put much thought into the whole "no circ" thing. I thought that its just what you do when you have a baby boy. We had our first child circ. and after realizing that it took a little while for his penis to heal and after doing research on how its not really neccesary to have done and how its actually pretty easy to care for. We decided to not circ. this little one on its way. (when I was first learning about all of this, it actually took a little while to get my husband on board, but now he's totally with me on this). We feel pretty good about our decision. I'm mean...we know things can go wrong, but things can also go wrong when you choose to have your child circ. My family is especially upset at the fact that we are choosing not to circ. to the point of offering to pay for the procedure. I know they just want to help, but they just haven't done their research. but, no matter how we try to just inform them, they seem not not want to listen, but oh well. We are not letting that stop us. I just really felt like letting everyone know of our decision. Thanks for reading.

[Fellow Traveler]

Thanks for sharing. We love success stories, what a lucky boy. You know, I think when your son arrives and your family sees they myths not hold up as time passes, some of them might come around.

[wytchywoman]

I caught a ton of flack from my family when I told them I wasn't going to circ my DS 2. Eventually they realized I wasn't backing down and quit talking about it. I'm pretty certain they gave me a ration because they feel so guilty for circing all their boys. You can always tell your family that if your DS2 decides he wants be circed when he turns 18, they can pay for it then

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I still catch over not circing ds from my mom for the most part and he turned 5yo Sunday. I get her about convinced that circ is not medically needed then it comes up in conversation with one of my aunts and we are back to square one.

[Nandi]

Happy day! Thanks for posting! Your son's a lucky little guy!

[BaMo]

What a lucky little boy! So glad to hear that your DH got behind you on this big decision as well. I don't think that it is always so easy for men who have been to circ to stop the circle.

[Fyrestorm]

Congrats on your decision to leave this baby alone! What a lucky boy!

As far as family, I know I've been at this a long time, but the longer I'm at it, the weirder and weirder it seems to me that families are so obsessed with cutting up a boy's primary sexual organ...just weird! If it were a girl and family was constantly questioning your decisions and asking questions about her genitals you would think they were crazy.

[nd_deadhead]

Congratulations, mamaturtle!

As for your family - I would say something like "I appreciate your concern. I promise you that if anything happens to our son's foreskin, we will seek immediate medical attention - the same way we will get medical help if he has an ear infection, pneumonia, or a broken bone. Luckily, the penis is really a pretty healthy body part - much less prone to problems than female genitals - so we aren't worried. But we DO appreciate your concern for our son's health."

[purplemamaturtle5]

Thanks everyone!! He is going to be a lucky boy isn't he! And I am lucky that my husband got behind me on this issue. It was kind of funny actually. When I first brought it up to him and my mother...they were both on the same side, the only difference is my husband decided to do further research himself and discovered that I was right. He could not find any real reason to circ. and I know this isn't a religious thread, but that a played a part in our decision too. After he was on board with me I could tell that my mom thought "great....he's gone crazy too". My husband was circ. and he has some pretty defined scars on his penis from it. And when we both thought back on it...when my son was circ. it took a long while for it to heal "properly". (my husband remembers the skin starting to grow together and the pediatrician telling us how to pull it back to keep it from growing together). I know the subject is going to come up agian, but I am sticking to my guns. Here is how I look at it: Its put there for a reason right? obviously its fine to leave it there. Like I said before....problems can occure whether you decide to circ. or not, but things happen all the time to many different parts of the body.....We are humans and with that comes certain problems. We are all flawed in some way, but at the same time that is what makes us perfect. just the way we were meant to be. Life isn't always easy...you know what I mean?

[nd_deadhead]

Mamaturlte, you made some excellent points. I remember DH and I thinking "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!" when I was pregnant. We were also grateful that our precious baby boys (we have twins) didn't have to have an operation before they even left the hospital.

Our sons are 15 years old now, and the most gratifying part about leaving them intact is how THEY feel about it. Ever since they learned about circumcision (at age 8), they have been VERY glad that no one decided to cut off their foreskins. The older they get, the more strongly they are opposed to infant circumcision - they were furious with my brother and his wife two years ago when they circumcised their baby boy.

[purplemamaturtle5]

The only thing I have been thinking about now is how is it going to be when my older son grows up and sees that he has been circ., but his little brother wasn't. When they are both adults...how are they going to feel? Will my oldest wish he wasn't circ.? Will my youngest wish he had been? Will either of them be angry at me? Its just something thats been on my mind lately.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5

The only thing I have been thinking about now is how is it going to be when my older son grows up and sees that he has been circ., but his little brother wasn't. When they are both adults...how are they going to feel? Will my oldest wish he wasn't circ.? Will my youngest wish he had been? Will either of them be angry at me? Its just something thats been on my mind lately.

There are more than a few posters here who have one circed or more with one intact or more. The main thing is to keep communication open and explain to the circed one why so that he wont make the same mistake with his boys.

[purplemamaturtle5]

Well I'm glad I'm not the only mama on here who has circ'd. one and decided not to circ. the rest!! I know as they both get older, communication will be key. I just hope I can address the issue to both boys (or more if I have any by then) in a way that makes sense to both and both are happy the way their bodies are, ( and that neither of them are angry at my husband and I for making the desicions we made with each of them ).

[DocsNemesis]

He could be angry with you but most likely, provided you keep communication open and explain why you did what you did, he won't be. He may be perfectly happy with his penis or he may wish he wasn't circ'd, theres just no way to know.

The good thing is, after growing up with a brother who is intact, he'll be a lot less likely to circ his own sons, discontinuing the cycle. I know if my kids circ'd one of my grandkids it'd be very difficult to look at them straight in the eye again.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5

Well I'm glad I'm not the only mama on here who has circ'd. one and decided not to circ. the rest!! I know as they both get older, communication will be key. I just hope I can address the issue to both boys (or more if I have any by then) in a way that makes sense to both and both are happy the way their bodies are, ( and that neither of them are angry at my husband and I for making the desicions we made with each of them ).

It's unlikely they'll notice anyway. But if they do you can just explain in an age appropriate way. Like if the older circ'd boy notices early on you could start by just explaining that everyone is a little different. We have different eye color, hair color, weight, height, ect. As they get older though a fuller explanation should be provided and all that has to be is that they once thought it was necessary but you later learned it wasn't so you didn't circ the younger boys. And you may want to get into why depending on their age. The important thing though is to do it in a way that isn't disparaging to the older son but at the same time insures he'll not continue it with his children.

[purplemamaturtle5]

Great advice everyone!! thank you so much. The important thing to me right now is that my husband and I have made the choice NOT to circ. again. I feel very good about this.

[BlessedMommy2006]

Originally Posted by purplemamaturtle5

Great advice everyone!! thank you so much. The important thing to me right now is that my husband and I have made the choice NOT to circ. again. I feel very good about this.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and your decision! What a lucky little boy. It takes a strong parent to decide not to circ again when 1 child is already circ'ed. Good for you for standing your ground with your family!

[purplemamaturtle5]

Originally Posted by BlessedMommy2006

Congratulations on your pregnancy and your decision! What a lucky little boy. It takes a strong parent to decide not to circ again when 1 child is already circ'ed. Good for you for standing your ground with your family!

Thank you so much!!

[wytchywoman]

I circed my older son and did not circ my younger son. When the topic cam e up I explained to DS 1 that I made a decision out of ignorance. I didn't really have a valid excuse but I was young and was told it was important to do it so I did. I also apologized profusely and told him if he ever wanted to consider restoration I would pay for it. He understands that I made a really, really huge mistake. By and large it isn't an issue for him, I think it's more of an issue for me really, as I feel really really guilty about it. Overall I think just sitting down with him and discussing it solved any confusion or feelings he had over it.

[columbusmomma]

Good for you and your DH for deciding to not circ. My DS is circ'd(didn't have a clue then)
Now I am educated and if for some reason we would have another child and it would be a boy DH and I would not allow that to happen.
Another intact baby boy! Good for you!!