Starting bad habits? Help

[fairymom]

Sage Wisdom needed!

LO has bedshared w/us since birth- we love it for the most part.(I've co-slept/bedshared all 6 of my dc) BUT lately we've been having issues w/bed time. Mainly him awaking during the night.

The routine (till about a month ago) was I'd nurse him to sleep in our bed around 8pm (I roll away for him lay there a moment to make sure he stayed asleep and then leave the room) and then he'd sleep till 2-3 when he'd wake to nurse. We both would fall back to sleep and he go again till 6-7. This was working so great and we both were getting enough rest.

But lately he wakes w/in 30 mins of going to sleep and I tried just nursing him back down (which works) but then he'd wake up again 10-15 mins later. He's not just strring and waking- he's screaming at the top of his lungs and hystarical. I got to the point where I was resenting him and getting angry (I can not just go to bed w/him at 8- I've got other dcs that I tend too after and putting him to bed later-when I go to bed for ex.- causes him to be even more cranky and tired) SO to remedy that I've taken to nursing him on the couch and either sitting there holding him while he uses me as a pacifier or making a nest of pillows on the floor in front of the couch- but he still wakes screaming 3-4 times out this way. But I am not feeling as isolated out in the livingroom w/DH and dc as I did laying in our dark bedroom.

And then when we (DH,lo, and I ) go to bed for the night I have to pop a boob in his mouth at least 3 times for the next 1 1/2 hrs to get him to sleep for any length of time (usually till about 4 am). He is not nursing to eat its all just for soothing (we have nuk which he uses at naps)- I can tell by the suck. There are nights where he'll wake every hour the whole night long.

I don't think the screaming is an indication of pain or teething- because during the day there is none and he's a very happy baby. He's never away from me (I'm a SAHM) so he gets loads and loads of time (all my other dcs are in school for at least 3 hrs/day).

Anyways I'm worried that we are starting some really bad habits for the future and do get to the point where I resent being a pacifier and never getting any time to myself or enough sleep.It was really bad last night. and has been getting worse the past week.

I was hoping I could start transfering him to his pack and play (in our room) soon (at least for the 1st part of the night-would bring him to bed w/us when he woke to eat) but don't think this will work now.

I hope I've given enough info for some help. I know this is long- sorry.

Suggestions? Tips? Ideas?

TIA

[nudhistbudhist]

This is exactly what I went through with my DS. I do think, though, that it could be teething. I JUST had a double root canal a couple weeks ago, and its amazing how much pain I would experience AT BEDTIME!!! As soon as I put my head down on the pillow, there was a pounding rush of pressure to the affected area, making it impossible to sleep. I went through the same thing when my wisdom teeth came in. You could try propping his head up a little to relieve some of the pressure, and homeopathic teething tablets. If you are absolutley going out of your head, as a last resort to get you through this tough time, you could also try a pacifier just when you have had enough nursing and he's asleep but won't let you leave (unless you could detach your breast somehow:P) I am 7 months pregnant and I went though a whole month where my breasts were soooooo sore, AND he was teething/screaming, and I was going out of my mind, and just thinking about nursing all night was making my skin crawl. I chose to use a pacifier when I couldnt take it anyomre, and he never became dependent on it. I found one that was pthalate free. It beats feeling resentful. I didnt want DS to pick up on these feelings I was having. Honestly, it gave me enough of a break to be a better mum.

On the other hand, this could be a product of his daily activities. I just posted "major break though" on the nightime thread. You may find something that helps. I would seriously try to avoid getting into the habbit of a later bedtime... I was in that cycle too.

Hang in there... It will get better. Big hugs!!!

[ssh]

Teething pain is often much worse at night. Have you tried giving him some ibuprofen ( if you give pain meds)? When my DD was getting her canines she nursed ALL night long, and that was with occasional ibuprofen. She very seldom complained during the day at all.

[headymomma14]

Nudhistbudhist, I'm almost 8 months pregnant and also have been struggling with the extremely sore breasts.
Fairymom, I wish I had some advice, regretfully I can't help because I searching for the same advice. My 18 month son went from sleeping basically all night (8pm to 6am) to now waking about every 2-3 hours to nurse. If he had it his way, I think he would nurse through the entire night. This past month, my energy has depleted vastly. I've been trying to wean the nighttime nursing because I panic about nursing two babies through the night. But without nursing, he wakes and fidgets and climbs all over me. It's so overwhelming. I'm at my wits end - this is my first post ever. My husband and I both strongly dislike pacifiers - but is being a human pacifier a better alternative. I need help too. I need some friends really. I'm home with my big boy, but my family isn't the most supportive of my (they call it "hippie") parenting choices.

[nudhistbudhist]

I can so sympathise. I was pretty much having panic attacks whenever I tried to picture our new baby home woith us and us all going to bed... Does you ds have his molars yet? My DS just got his yesterday. Maybe it makes me sound like a bad mom but I honestly didnt know they were coming in because his teeth have alawys come in in pairs, and he has three bottom fronts... I've been waiting for the 4th bottom front, but instead, I happen to notice there were 2 little molars poked through and a third under the gums on the bottom. It seemed like he was teething, but its been WEEKS and WEEKS, so I was starting to think maybe he had some sort of allergy or something that was causing his miserable day/nightime behavior. I feel so much better seeing the teeth and knowing thats what it was, because that means IT WILL PASS soon.

I did a little research on the first years molars and apparently they can be quite nasty and take a loooong time to come through, and cause all the night time sypmtoms you are suddenly experiencing.

I also am called a "hippy" (and worse, I'm sure, behind my back) by my family for my parenting choiced, but all I have to do is look at mainstream childhood and I am again inspired to maintain the type of lifestyle we have chosen for ourselves and our children. I also dont have many (if any!) like minded moms around me, so thats why I come to MDC for support! I often come on MDC at 3 am just to read other moms tales of nighttime distress... It makes me feel better that I'm not the only mom going through this RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT! it will get better It wont be long before you are waiting up all night worried because he said he's be home at X time, but he hasnt called or showed up yet, because he's having too much fun and being a teenager/young adult!!!!