Who is cosleeping?

[confustication]

I coslept with DS 1 until he wanted to have his own space- at about 4 months- he'd come to bed to nurse and for cuddles, but the initial block of sleep- he wanted his own space at tht point. With DD, I didn't start cosleeping, but again, she came to bed to nurse, and eventually started cosleeping...

This time, I'm bringing Keagan to bed with me, and trying to nurse him to sleep, but he doesn't get a good block of sleep at night (meaning over an hour at least once..) Instead, he comes to bed, frantically roots, pops on and offnurses for HOURS leaving me sore, and finally falls asleep for more than 20 minutes at about 5:30 am. During the day, he's learning to nap in his basinette and is getting some real sleep. Obviously, he reverse cycles, and has nights and days upside down, which will change, but I'm at a point where I'm considering putting the bassinette in the bedroom (instead of beside my desk out in the main part of the house... ) and seeing if he'll at least get a block of sleep early on in the night before coming to bed with me. At the same time, it feels far too soon to be doing that!

I love holding him and snuggling him, and I know he needs that, but the cosleeping seems to be causing him to be more wakeful, and isn't helping either of us get any real sleep...

Suggestions? BTDT? Commiseration?

[2boyzmama]

nak

ian wouldn't co-sleep, did what you're describing. slept much better alone. connor started cosleeping at about 4 months (had severe apnea before that and couldn't cosleep) and did fine untill around 11 months when he started being too restless/nursing literally all night, so we moved him to his own bed.

gavin, otoh, won't sleep alone! he nurses to sleep, then lays in the crook of my elbow all night with his face on my bare breast. he wakes to latch on probably 3 times, maybe more that i'm unaware of. he wakes to pass gas or burp a few times, but settles back against my breast without latching on to nurse. just recently i've been trying to have my husband snuggle him for a bit so i can sleep without holding a baby, but he doesn't like that much yet. we'll keep trying though!

[confustication]

If Keagan would do that, I'd be thrilled, but he's so restless, and I wind up having to get up with him because he won't settle in until I get up, head to the other room, and nurse him sitting up for over an hour. I can then sneak him back into bed with me, but he wakes within 30 minutes and we go through it again.

I'm struggling to figure out what the best solution is for all of us.

[2boyzmama]

ian slept in his carseat in his crib. i tried in his seat next to me, but he never learned to side lie nurse so i had to go sit in the glider anyway (which was in his room). i spent a lot of time in that glider!!

the carseat was because hew had reflux, and even though that supposdely isn't a good position for reflux, it was for him.

[skydancer]

You must be exhausted and so frustrated. I feel for you!! I don't know if any of this will help, but here is what I've experienced...

ds1- Was a very restless sleeper. We tried him in the crib first, but he hated it. Eventually he moved into bed with us and it was a little better because I wasn't constantly up and down all night, but he was still not sleeping well. Finally, we resorted to swaddling him. As a new parent, I thought it was kind of mean to swaddle babies (why??) and didn't do it once we were home from the hospital. After going back to that, though, he slept much better...he just liked being swaddled.

dd1- We thought we had learned from our mistakes and immediately co-slept and swaddled her. Turns out she HATED to be swaddled. She also liked her own space and was out of our bed (her choice) much sooner than any of our others.

ds2- Didn't like to be swaddled but refused to sleep anywhere but in our bed and with us.

dd2- So far she is doing well in her Arms Reach cosleeper (this is the first time we've had it...the others all coslept in bed with us). She likes to be swaddled before sleeping still. If she isn't, she bats her arms around and wakes herself up. Once she is asleep, though, she works her arms out and is fine.

I guess the point is that there is no magic answer. What works for one child may not work at all for another. Trust your instincts on what to try or not try. You will be the one who will be able to read Keagan's signs the best.

Good luck!

[rebeccajm]

Sorry you are having such restless nights! I hope he gets his nights and days figured out soon for you. If you have to put him in his bassinet temporarily, don't feel guilty! A well-rested mama is what he needs. You will be more attentive to his needs and you other kids' needs, and you will feel so much better. He will, too, if he gets more solid blocks of sleep at night.

I co-slept with Lucas for 19 months, until I was about 8 weeks pg with Sawyer. We never planned to co-sleep, it just kind of happened, and I'm so glad it did. He and I both slept so much better with the side-lying nursing on demand, and I just loved snuggling him and having him fall asleep on my breast after nursing. Night time was our bonding time, because I went back to work at 9 weeks PP. We still have a very strong bond.

So far with Sawyer, we are sleeping in the living room together. I have a baby bed for him on the coffee table. I nurse him to sleep and lay him down in the baby bed. When he wakes to nurse the first time, I either keep him on the couch with me the rest of the night or put him back in the bed one more time. We will move to the bedroom eventually, lol. I am used to camping out on the couch, because that's what I did the whole third trimester.

[phytoangel]

good luck mama. i guess that every baby is unique, but you will find a solution that fits. with our first, she coslept in the bed with us for a few months and then she was restless and i put her in the attached cosleeper that dh made. she was better off in her own space, but within reach. with this lo she is doing pretty good next to me on her own little mattress, our bed is wall to wall this time and we have plenty of room. i will say that i do have a hard time getting her back to sleep at least once a night and i end up sleeping with her on my chest. not the best solution, but we both sleep and i love cuddling with her.

so, with all of that said, you just need to see what works for you guys. i would suggest an attachable cosleeper for those restless nights.

much love and some sleep!

[greeny]

Cassidy only sleeps in my arms or on my chest, so yes, I guess that counts as co-sleeping!

[2boyzmama]

I successfully transfered Gavin to daddy's arms last night for about an hour, so hopefully that bodes well for future nights!! I don't really mind him sleeping in my arms all night, but I do have to go back to work, and three mornings a week I'll be leaving before 6am, so I need to be able to have him sleep with daddy or alone.

Of course, in that hour last night that he was with daddy, Ian woke up with a raging fever, so I didn't get to sleep alone for an hour, but progress is progress

[tzs]

my kid decided that we were going to co-sleep and i'm not too thrilled about it. the crib is only 3 feet away and i had finally got her to sleep in it for about a week straight but we hit 6 weeks and she had a couple of sad nights and is back in the bed.
i'm hoping to inherit a rocking bassinet that could go right next to the bed and could sway her to sleep.

[spitbath]

first timer here, and cosleeping all the way. we got an arms reach cosleeper, but elijah lasts about ten minutes in it. not as warm and good-smelling as mama, i guess
DH is super nervous about sleeping next to him after waking up with his arm over him one night in an awkward/sort of scary position, so i sleep in the middle, with the cosleeper shoved up against elijah's side of the bed (this will change once he's mobile). right now since i can't nurse for comfort (oversupply issues ) he falls asleep on my chest, and takes most of his naps there, too (in the moby wrap, if i'm not sleeping, too)
i'm not fighting it, and i'm following his lead, since i don't have much to do in the way of work. he doesn't like to be on his own, but it doesn't bother me since i don't like to put him down! i guess i don't see it as 'high needs' or whatever, since he's really content when he's held. maybe i just got an "easy" model
that's not to say we haven't had some rough nights...

i agree with everyone who has said that every kiddo is different. i think the universal thing that works is listening to your intuition and being responsive as opposed to trying to shape their behavior so early (but maybe i'm totally off base.. haha)

[kismetbaby]

We have an arm's reach co-sleeper that so far has been used as a changing table. Our LO has been in bed, sleeping in between us, although he is actually usually sleeping on one of our chests. He definitely sleeps best on the chest or in the sling. On his back he startles a lot and wakes himself. He definitely prefers to fall asleep at the boob, but he will fall asleep in the sling or on dad (sucking dad's finger).

I like co-sleeping, although I think it causes me to sleep lighter b/c I worry about blankets getting over his face and about my DH rolling over onto him. We would like to transition to using the co-sleeper soon, but at this point whatever gets us a few hours sleep is what we'll do. So far, we can get 3 hours once or twice a night and the rest of the time he wakes every 1-2 hours.

[diana_of_the_dunes]

We have an Arms Reach co-sleeper that we use at night, and Ethan doesn't seem to mind being in it. He goes pretty much right to sleep after nursing, then sleeps for 2-3 hour blocks (). I swaddle him at night, which started because of serious arm flailing and hand sucking while trying to get him latched on... He smells milk and goes bonkers! Now he gets excited when I swaddle him, but at least he's contained. He seems to sleep better at night when he can't accidentally bop himself in the face, too.

We bedshare in the afternoons when I put him in bed with Daddy so I can get a shower and a few minutes to myself. Sometimes he's happy to be next to DH in bed, sometimes he wants to be on his chest.

I'm lucky, though... Ethan is really easy-going and would probably sleep anywhere.

[LMI Mom]

Eden sleeps part time in a Snuggle Nest between us and part of the time in our arms. She's starting to sleep much longer stretches, so we'll probably do what we did with DD#1 and start her off in her crib, then bring her in with us after she wakes the first time. She's much more in to cuddling, so I expect she'll cosleep longer than Iris did.