I am at my wits' end regarding naps. Please help!

[Beppie]

This is really a question for parents who are no longer breastfeeding the kids to sleep.

I feel that the biggest parenting mistake I ever made was resting at naptime with my two kids. Now I can't get them to sleep without me, even though neither of them is nursing anymore. I'm due with a new baby soon (I'm in my 38th week!) and I have NO IDEA how I am going to cope after the baby is born.

DD#1 is 4, DD#2 is almost 2. When I lie down with them, it takes them (one or both, depending on the day) an hour to fall asleep. I feel like it's such a waste of my time (except for the days when I enjoy the rest, but that is beside the point....) But they both seem to really need a nap. Without it, they fall apart in the late afternoon (they are generally very cheerful, cooperative kids. we don't really have any behavioral issues here.). And the 4-year-old, who goes to preschool 2 mornings a week, usually wakes up in the morning exhausted... I know the sleep is good for them.

What do you do for naps? Do you get them ready for bed, close the door, and that's it? Do your kids fall asleep right away? Do they make noise for a while and then sleep? How long does it take them? What do you say to them? What works for your family?

I really need ideas. I have no idea what's normal. All I know is that every day I get SO FRUSTRATED!

[littlehoneybee]

When are they going to bed at night? Maybe they need an earlier bedtime.

[sydsmama]

I totally feel your pain. My kids are almost seven, and three. In the weeks before I gave birth to my youngest I set up a routine with my then almost 3 year old where I sat in her room (not on her bed with her-this made me sad at first, but if I 'cheated' it would ruin the whole thing) and read her two stories of her choice. Then I gave her a kiss and told her it was nap time and left. I'd say it took 2 weeks to get her settled into it. She napped this way until about six months ago. I stopped nursing my son eight months ago and had him on the same routine. It worked for only a couple of months, when they BOTH decided at the same time to not nap anymore. We're talking 2 hours of trying to get them to sleep and....nada. So, now I have them lay down on their own beds and sit where they can both see and hear me. I read them two stories and then tell them it is QUIET TIME. I do not care if they don't sleep (although they both need it) but they MUST remain in their rooms and look at books or play a quite game. I've explained that EVERYONE, even Mommies, need quiet time every day, and I really appreciate when they give Mommy this time. About 1 out of every 4 days they actually fall asleep. My son will even ask sometimes now if he can have quiet time. I think whatever you do, it's all about making it a routine. Isn't that how we get ourselves into the "must be with Mommy to sleep" problem? Oh, and I never shut their doors- my daughter once told me it made her feel extra lonely and she couldn't sleep. I think it comforts them to be able to hear me go about my housework and stuff. In fact, if I stop working around the house and get quiet ( like to nap myself!) they'll wake up shortly after!

[Shanny2032]

I agree with PP's. I am still nursing my baby so it's not mothering experience but I have been a Nanny for many years and a good way to "get out of there" is literally step by step. Mommy can't lay with you but we'll read books and I will sit in this chair until you fall asleep as long as you are resting quietly. Slowly move the chair over weeks until it is out the door. It may take more time to complete the process than you have right now with the new baby coming and they might regress afterward anyway but it doesn't hurt to start. Good luck.

[Deir]

I feel like this is my one parenting "failure." I really do. I have a 6 yr old and a 4 yr old and I am expecting #3 in March. I am determined that this one will nap!!! I've learrned as a parent of older kids that routine and not giving up really is the key but it is so hard to stick to it. I have to drive ds in the car if I want him to sleep. what a aste of time and gas!! I would be so happy if I could say- "Naptime!" and he would lay down. This is one area where I look at my more mainstream friends and say."you know- I think they have it right"

[Luke's mama]

I think Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers has tips for naptime too--pretty much what the PPs have suggested but in more detail.

[Katie T]

Have you tried a earlier nap time? Ive been having the same problem & now we do nap in the 11 oclock hr they are asleep in 15 to 20 min instead of a hr or 2. Good luck its tough!