or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › please help, dont judge.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

please help, dont judge. - Page 2

post #21 of 106
My kids are 1/2 Caucasian (me), half Korean (DH). DD looked just like my DH when she was born except for her blue eyes and now looks mostly like me (but her eyes turned green). There are NO relatives on DH's side that aren't Korean with brown eyes, so that surprised us.

DS1 looks a lot like DH and had that sticking straight up hair at birth that a lot of Asians have; his hair is now just like mine (dark brown, not as coarse as DH's, and has a slight wave to it).

So far DS2 resembles DD and I assume will favor me more than DH as he grows, but who knows.

My kids do have Mongolian spots, but they are very faint. DH didn't even notice them for a really long time and then not until DS1.

I guess my examples are just to show the differences that can show up with our "mix." If you want to see pics of my kiddos, my blog is enviromama.blogspot.com
post #22 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by freestyler View Post
Well, a DNA test is only a good idea IF the mamma wants the possible dads involved, or maintains any kind of connection with them. I mean, what if Angelbaby wants no connection with the guys, for whatever reason? (Like WHATEVER reason.) Is there a way to get an answer without DNA tests? Does anyone know the answer to this?
I'm not an expert, but I don't think there is. I know that there are some tests out there that claim to give you a breakdown of your genes -- i.e., this % european, that % african, etc., but from what I've heard these are not reliable. They are also very expensive.
post #23 of 106
My mother is scandinavian and my father is a more light skinned african american...my sister and I share the same mother and father.

I came out with medium toned skin, emerald green eyes and darkish brown hair with lightish sort of highlights in the summer. My hair is curly...but very silky and fine like my mothers...it "likes" to be straight...so, it's not coarse at all. I have fine features like my mother and most people think I am mediterranian. Nobody ever guesses black and white mix.

My sister has more african american features than I do...a wide, happy face...fuller mouth and large pretty eyes and a wider nose...she has blonde hair (that is a bit thicker than mine, not as silky), blue blue eyes and lilly LILLY white skin...oh, and super cute little freckles sprinkled across her nose.

No one ever guesses her race/mix either and with us being raised in upper middle class, white areas...well, there was just no one around who really saw a lot of "mixed" people, so no one ever guessed a lot. When we lived in the south people could tell though.


Now I'm all grown up and have my own baby and we were interested to see how she would come out...my skin is much more olive than dark...but we wondered if she would come out a little tan baby (oh, how I had crossed my fingers! )

NO DICE! My baby looks like a sack of flour with my DHs face plastered to the front of it! My husband is pretty much straight Irish with a little bit of English in the mix....he has light light skin, but does tan in the summer, dark green/hazel eyes and darkish brown hair that is VERY fine.

DD is EXTREMELY light skinned with very very blue blue eyes..like, DEEP denim blue. She has dirty blonde hair (for the moment, I see it getting darker and think she will end up with lightish brown hair) and it is kind of curly if the air is wicked humid...so.

Every time two races get together to make a baby...it's like a roll of the dice. I think I remember being told that every time an egg and sperm get together, there is something like 64,000,000,000 different possible outcomes when you to into account all of the variations, etc....I don't know if that's completely true or what...but I do know when it comes to black/white mixes, the heritage is so screwy, anything can happen. Lots and lots of black people have caucasian blood in their background and I even have a half sister (two black parents) who married a black man and ended up with a very dark, african american child and a little girl who is white white white. So....really, you never know how that is going to turn out.

Ooooh, this conversation has me really excited thinking about my son, who is due soon....we are wondering what he will look like...maybe this time we will get a little brown baby? A baby who looks even remotely like me! People think I'm my DDs nanny for goodness sake!


I WOULD say this....based upon what you have said about your childs eye color and IF that color sticks...I would put all my money on african american genes as oppossed to asian. Brown skin tone, lightish hair, light eyes....dead give away (in MY exp) for a white/black mix.
post #24 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by freestyler View Post
Well, a DNA test is only a good idea IF the mamma wants the possible dads involved, or maintains any kind of connection with them. I mean, what if Angelbaby wants no connection with the guys, for whatever reason? (Like WHATEVER reason.) Is there a way to get an answer without DNA tests? Does anyone know the answer to this?
I think there are DNA tests to determine this. As I said in my above post, even if the mother doesn't want the father in the child's life, it important to know the race for the child's medical background! For example, if a doctor assumes that a child is 100% European and has no African American relatives, they may not check for a particular disease that could save a person's life.
post #25 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cascadian View Post
Ditto to what everyone said about the phenotypes showing up in both mixes.

I'd look at her hair - my DD's are 1/2 asian and have very straight hair. If she were mixed with black, their hair might be curly/wavy.



Her hair is very curly/wavy. I never thought about that.
post #26 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaingirl79 View Post
Congrats on your baby!!!
I've heard that dark skinned babies "darken up" after birth....I've seen that to be true with my friend's babes. I agree that a paternity test would be most accurate, but from the sounds of it, it probably wasn't the asian man that got you pregnant...BUT, have the dna test to be sure. Good luck!!
You know, we are not judgmental around these parts, so come back and keep us updated!!


Well i was on a parenting site, and everybody called me a whore. they werent very nice.
post #27 of 106
Ignoring color, who does she look like? Babies tend to look like their fathers when they're very young.

That said, : about proper testing.
post #28 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post
I WOULD say this....based upon what you have said about your childs eye color and IF that color sticks...I would put all my money on african american genes as oppossed to asian. Brown skin tone, lightish hair, light eyes....dead give away (in MY exp) for a white/black mix.
I wouldn't totally count on this, she said the Asian guy is also half European, so the blue eyes could come from there.

DS had very light reddish brown hair when he was born. There is a little girl at his preschool who was also European/Asian, who has bright red hair and very pale skin. There is another European/Asian family with a couple of kids at DS's school, who all have blond highlights in their hair. These kids are all half Asian, the OP's DD would just be a quarter Asian. I wouldn't rule out blond hair and blue eyes.
post #29 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by freestyler View Post
Well, a DNA test is only a good idea IF the mamma wants the possible dads involved, or maintains any kind of connection with them. I mean, what if Angelbaby wants no connection with the guys, for whatever reason? (Like WHATEVER reason.) Is there a way to get an answer without DNA tests? Does anyone know the answer to this?


i ordered a Home DNA test, but my grandma said they arent always accurate and that the people in the lab dont know what they are doing. She said it can come back and say its the black boys and its really not. She just doesnt want it to be his. They bet a hundred dollars on the Asian boy even though it was on my period and there is a very small chance.
post #30 of 106
It having been on your period, I'm suspecting you only think it might be the Asian guy because your family talked you into it.
post #31 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Ignoring color, who does she look like? Babies tend to look like their fathers when they're very young.
I heard that look most like their dads when they are toddlers, 2-ish yo.
post #32 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kylix View Post
How old is your daughter? Babies change so much in appearance over the first year. If you are saying the skin above her nails is much darker, her complexion may change. Her blue eyes may also darken to another color.

Biracial babies (no matter the ethnicity--black, asian) can look so different from each other. It is definitely possible that she has blue eyes being part asian or black. It all has to do with the genes that she inherited not the genes that it was possible for her to inherit.


She is 5 1/2 months old.
post #33 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
I heard that look most like their dads when they are toddlers, 2-ish yo.
Really? At 4 months Lina looked exactly like a photo of dh at the same age. Oh, but I guess you don't have their baby pictures.

Picture of your baby girl? She sounds super cute!
post #34 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Ignoring color, who does she look like? Babies tend to look like their fathers when they're very young.

That said, : about proper testing.


Ignoring the color, she looks exactly like the black boy.
The shape of her face, her nose, everything. I made the picture black and white and put it next to him and they look like twins.
post #35 of 106
OP, do YOU have curly or straight hair? B/c if your family tends to have straight hair, but your baby's hair is curly, i'd bet it's not the asian guy, but I guess it's hard to tell since he's half white? My hair is wavy/curly, though, and Dh's family has stick straight hair and both my kids only had a tiny bit of curl when younger and not much now that it's been cut. i keep hoping for a curly haired kid. LOL... but I'd guess that EXTREMELY curly hair might be stronger in the genes. Mine is straight (but poofy, uh, "voluminous") if i don't get it wet every day. Seems like most of the black/white mixed kids out there have curly hair, that I've seen, but clearly that could change with the parental background...
post #36 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juvysen View Post
OP, do YOU have curly or straight hair? B/c if your family tends to have straight hair, but your baby's hair is curly, i'd bet it's not the asian guy, but I guess it's hard to tell since he's half white? My hair is wavy/curly, though, and Dh's family has stick straight hair and both my kids only had a tiny bit of curl when younger and not much now that it's been cut. i keep hoping for a curly haired kid. LOL... but I'd guess that EXTREMELY curly hair might be stronger in the genes. Mine is straight (but poofy, uh, "voluminous") if i don't get it wet every day. Seems like most of the black/white mixed kids out there have curly hair, that I've seen, but clearly that could change with the parental background...

My hair is wavy, but she is only five months old. The little hair she has curls.
post #37 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelbaby1788 View Post
My hair is wavy, but she is only five months old. The little hair she has curls.
i dont know if this works, i will edit if it doesnt

How can i insert a picture?

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...5fc42b43bd.png


http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...9404d379c0.png



http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...baa5589e24.png



black
http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...a9bc05a9f3.jpg

http://c3.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...51f45b616e.jpg




asian
http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...0fb7a5cbd0.png
post #38 of 106
maybe you can just blood type her, you, and the two boys. Get one of the card kits. If the boys have different blood types- you could figure out who he dad is.
GL! Please visit all the other forums as well...lots of beneficial pareting advice. Babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding etc. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
post #39 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeliphish View Post
maybe you can just blood type her, you, and the two boys. Get one of the card kits. If the boys have different blood types- you could figure out who he dad is.
GL! Please visit all the other forums as well...lots of beneficial pareting advice. Babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding etc. How old are you if you don't mind me asking?
I am 18.
post #40 of 106
It sounds like you're pretty sure that it's the AA guys baby. What's holding you back there? Family? Does he want to be involved? It sounds like you're pretty sure that she's his. Now, strange question....How aroused were you during or before the act....Don't answer here. Anyway, anytime I've been especially into sex, it's because I'm ovulating. So, if you were more aroused than normal with one of them, it's another point towards that person being the possible father.

I'm sorry that the other mother's board was less than welcoming. People can be so judgmental. It seems that people here are much more comfortable discussing real life issues and not trying to pretend that we're perfect.

Welcome to MDC. I hope you stick around.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › please help, dont judge.