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please help, dont judge. - Page 3

post #41 of 106
I'm the Asian one and mine is very slightly wavy (you woulld call it straight, but it's not flat iron straight). DH's family ALL have straight, straight hair. DS has wavy hair, now as a toddle and had curls as a baby. So, curls don't rule out Asian either.

If this is going to drive you nuts, I'd just ask for a paternity test.

Edited to add: Your daughter is adorable!
post #42 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelbaby1788 View Post
i dont know if this works, i will edit if it doesnt

How can i insert a picture?

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/i...5fc42b43bd.png
She's gorgeous! Congrats and good luck finding out the paternity.

Oh, and
post #43 of 106
Oh, and if you have pics of the guys, try this look-a-like meter. It won't tell you anything definitive, but it's kinda fun to play with:

http://celebrity.myheritage.com/FP/C...like-meter.php

When I did DS, he was split exactly 50/50 me and my DH.
post #44 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by chaoticzenmom View Post
It sounds like you're pretty sure that it's the AA guys baby. What's holding you back there? Family? Does he want to be involved? It sounds like you're pretty sure that she's his. Now, strange question....How aroused were you during or before the act....Don't answer here. Anyway, anytime I've been especially into sex, it's because I'm ovulating. So, if you were more aroused than normal with one of them, it's another point towards that person being the possible father.

I'm sorry that the other mother's board was less than welcoming. People can be so judgmental. It seems that people here are much more comfortable discussing real life issues and not trying to pretend that we're perfect.

Welcome to MDC. I hope you stick around.
Yes, Family. They werent happy when i told them it could by the black boys. He does want to be in her life, we are still together, planning on moving in together. He doesnt know about the other boy... So im really scared that it may not be his, and my family keeps telling me its not his because she is so white, so it makes me wonder. Well im always aroused by him, but we had sex everyday so i dont know if i was ovulating. The only reason the Asian boy got thrown in here was because i got pretty messed up at a party, i dont even remember doing it. But i was on my period, i just think its weird to get pregnant on your period, but my family said it happens ALL the time, and they said what doesnt happen is a 1/2 black baby coming out white.
post #45 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by noobmom View Post
I'm the Asian one and mine is very slightly wavy (you woulld call it straight, but it's not flat iron straight). DH's family ALL have straight, straight hair. DS has wavy hair, now as a toddle and had curls as a baby. So, curls don't rule out Asian either.

If this is going to drive you nuts, I'd just ask for a paternity test.

Edited to add: Your daughter is adorable!


Thank you.
I got a Home DNA that i ordered but my grandma said these dont work.
post #46 of 106
I have no idea - but she's beautiful!!!! Enjoy her and check out the rest of mothering.com!
post #47 of 106
Welll I think looking at the pictures that she looks like your boyfriend. And may I add she is darn cute!
post #48 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelbaby1788 View Post
Thank you.
I got a Home DNA that i ordered but my grandma said these dont work.
I just have a feeling your g'ma doesn't really know. But now that your family knows and your boyfriend doesn't, I think you need to do the test. Maybe go to a real lab and get a more legit test if you want. If your family doesn't want it to be his, you need some proof and you need to know yourself that it is. Otherwise he is gonna find out and it's going to be a worse situation if you can't say with confidence who her father is, kwim?
post #49 of 106
I think your baby looks like a brown skin/mix baby. I come from a mixed race family. I have four little black/white mixed babies fresh in my mind. I can tell you she will probably get some more color as she grows. She is BEAUTIFUL! Enjoy her and please feel welcome here. There are always people out there ready to judge but overall this is a place with a lot of sweet ladies.

So I seriously think your boyfriend is her Daddy. I hope he is a good guy for you.
post #50 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by noobmom View Post
Oh, and if you have pics of the guys, try this look-a-like meter. It won't tell you anything definitive, but it's kinda fun to play with:

http://celebrity.myheritage.com/FP/C...like-meter.php

When I did DS, he was split exactly 50/50 me and my DH.


black, looks like him 53%
http://storage.myheritagefiles.com/U...a4qwbf9c03.JPG

asian boy, looks like me by 5%
http://storage.myheritagefiles.com/T...a4ar84k903.JPG
post #51 of 106
I just wanted to say your daughter is gorgeous!

Also, I have noooo idea so don't take my opinion as fact but, I think she looks more like the african american man and not so much the asian. Her little features are more AA (to me) and I have a few half black/white friends that you would never know had AA genes because they have such white skin. Just my opinion though, please do get a paternity test to make sure if you are worried at all.

It sounds to me like your family needs to be a tiny bit more understanding and a bit less judgemental towards your partner and you. I hope you are able to work this out. Good luck!
post #52 of 106
Welcome to mdc! Lots of super info about babies and creating a family culture that works for you. Your daughter is adorable and I think she looks like your boyfriend. The black and white picture of her looks just like the second picture of him. The bridge of her nose, her wide cheekbones, even the way she's holding her mouth. Good Luck!
post #53 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary-Beth View Post
I think your baby looks like a brown skin/mix baby. I come from a mixed race family. I have four little black/white mixed babies fresh in my mind. I can tell you she will probably get some more color as she grows. She is BEAUTIFUL! Enjoy her and please feel welcome here. There are always people out there ready to judge but overall this is a place with a lot of sweet ladies.

So I seriously think your boyfriend is her Daddy. I hope he is a good guy for you.
Thank you, im glad to find a place with nice people, the other girls were horrible.
post #54 of 106
Welcome to MDC!

Perhaps not everyone will agree with me, but my take is this. If you are in a loving, stable relationship with the African American boy, and you are already functioning as a family unit, then he is the father of your baby . I don't think your baby looks at all Korean for what it's worth, and I lived in Korea for years. But do genes really matter? I am sorry your family is being judgemental, and I hope that you will figure out whatever works best for you all .

Your daughter is really gorgeous!
post #55 of 106
It sound like both guys have lighter genes from half og their genetic makeup so it sounds like the baby has inhereted those genes for skin color. I have seen that happend before with people I know IRL if the Asian or black parent was from a mixed heritage. If you know for sure it was your period and not spotting she is much more likely the child of the black guy.
post #56 of 106
i think she looks a lot like your b-friend. But, you might want to talk with him about what happened and clear the air. If your family knows and if you're living in a small town, he could find out and be hurt. If you can't talk with him about this, then you might want to consider how much you trust him. It sounds like your family might try to get him out of the picture. Also, you were 17 and weren't thinking long-term anyway at that time. If you're thinking long-term now and it sounds like you are, then get this out of the way so it doesn't haunt you and mess up your intimacy and trust in each other.

Good luck.
Lisa
post #57 of 106
EASY WAY TO FIND OUT...

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO DNA TESTS...

and I am guessing you are not discussing it in your questions
and you most likely know about th is possibility and as
others discussed it it could really be most helpful to you
in order to get child support which is actually your right
and your baby right.. for the entire future of your child..
and again.. some day you mght move away or those guys
might and the child will never know the father..

but then again having said that

SOLUTION: TEST THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE FATHER.. FATHERS:


There are tests that you can do to YOUR CHILD
and that way you will know what the Race of your child is.
this test does not need any samples from parents.
it is enough to take a bit of saliva from your child on a swab,
send it to the lab and you will know 100% for sure
what race is prevelent and involved in your child's genetics..

just check those google sites: or run your google search
on the genetic ancestry words and then look at the links
and read the sites they will get you to.. you will lerarn more.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&r...&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
post #58 of 106
It sounds like your family is deliberately trying to cause turmoil by making you doubt the babies father. I think this issue needs to be handled separately from the biological issues, since you have a continuing relationship with the most likely father.

Another issue, since you don't remember what happened would be to find out exactly what went on with the Asian guy. Did you both get carried away in the moment? Does he regularly take advantage of girls who are a bit drunk or stoned? Was there birth control involved?

Are there any distinctive family traits that either guy has that might put your mind to rest. For example, everybody on FIL's side of the family has a dimple in their right cheek, including DH and DS.
post #59 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by eepster View Post
I wouldn't totally count on this, she said the Asian guy is also half European, so the blue eyes could come from there.

DS had very light reddish brown hair when he was born. There is a little girl at his preschool who was also European/Asian, who has bright red hair and very pale skin. There is another European/Asian family with a couple of kids at DS's school, who all have blond highlights in their hair. These kids are all half Asian, the OP's DD would just be a quarter Asian. I wouldn't rule out blond hair and blue eyes.


Oh whoooaaa....I'm sorry, I TOTALLY missed that the asian fellow is only half asian. Well then GEEZ...that makes this a very interesting mystery indeed!

OP....I have no clue...but in my opinion, both mixes tend to make beautiful children! Congratulations and I hope you get to the bottom of this soon...

OKAY....ETA: Mama....first of all, your baby girl is GORGEOUS, congratulations. Second of all, your family is WRONG....two AA people with mixed backgrounds can give birth to LILLY white babies...it's all in the recessive genes that come popping up when you least expect them to! Believe me...you wouldn't be the first mama to look at her bf/dh and then at her baby and wonder where all the color was!!

OKay and third of all....sweet heart....the picture of your DD that is taken from sort of below, angled up so you can sort of see up her nose...and the picture of your boyfriend (AA man) taken from a similar angle...I'm telling you, were I a bettin' lass, I'd put ALL my money on him being the father.

I do think that she has more AA features....and I think she is a dead ringer for your bf...she looks just like him. His mouth, his NOSE especially...they have similar shapes to their faces..I REALLY think it's his baby.

GL and I'm really sorry you ran into some mean mamas at another site...we all make mistakes, especially when we're young...you're doing great sweetheart. Don't let anyone make you feel like less than AWESOME for what happened and please, just for your own good, tell your bf about what happened. You don't have to tell him that what happened made you question your DDs paternity....but DO tell him that "once upon a time I made a real mistake" - just so you can move forward from a place of honesty and mutual respect...if he heard about it from someone else, it could really hurt him.
post #60 of 106
She's super cute. I think she has the black guy's nose. I see you're pretty young, so you're probably very fertile, but I still think it's preeeettty unlikely to get pg on your period.
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