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please help, dont judge. - Page 5

post #81 of 106
Yep, your daughter definitely looks black. Honestly hon, IME, most white people have a hard time picking up on AA in babies unless their skin is obviously dark (hence your family's reaction. White people ALWAYS ask where my son (1/4 black) got his curly hair and then say 'Oh you can't tell!" when I say that his bio dad is biracial but AA people look at my son and say "he's black isn't he" lol. I think your bf is your baby's father but I also think that if you want to be with this man long term that you need to tell him about the other guy because the "what ifs" are far too big.
post #82 of 106
Your dd is adorable and I do think she looks like your current bf.

It is possible to get pg on your period if you have early enough ovulation. Some woman ovulate as early as cd8 some even earlier. What happens is the sperm stay in there waiting on the Ovulation to occur so that technically you dont get pg while on your period (unless you have a super long period) it happens after the period is over and the sperm have been waiting.
post #83 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelbaby1788 View Post
Thank you everyone for you help and for not judging me.
I know i have to tell him, im just so scared what his reaction is going to be. He loves that little girl so much and he has no doubt that she is his. I just dont want to hurt him if she isnt. Hopefully the test will come back with a 100% and there wont be anymore confusion with anyone in my family. The only reason they even know about the other boy is because my little sister had a big mouth and told EVERYBODY, how embarrasing that was. Then when she came out white it made it worse, they were all like uhmmm thats not a mixed baby. They were looking for a dark baby to shoot out of me. But he sat there at the hospital with her and just said how much she looked like him. He has never denied her because she looks white. I have ordered the DNA test so i will let everyone know the results when we get it done.
Oh! One thing, no matter what sort of DNA test you ordered, tell your family it's whatever type they'd believe. Otherwise they will be PITA about it being inaccurate and such.
post #84 of 106
Definitely looks like your current boyfriend to me.

She's gorgeous!
post #85 of 106
She's adorable!! I think she looks like your boyfriend. I definitely see it in the nose and lips. There's only one way to be sure though!
post #86 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
My call? She's Victor's kid, you never even slept with the Asian guy, and your family needs to STFU (shut up).

Only thing is, you're going to have to do a paternity test or something because your family will definitely try to tell V. that your dd (dear daughter) isn't his and will definitely tell him about you thinking you might've slept with Asian guy.

Over all, your family is going to be a huge problem. Your best bet is to get to a place where you can force them to be polite in order to see you or your child.
ITA.

You don't remember sleeping with the other guy, afaic, it didn't even happen.
post #87 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deefodil View Post
ITA.

You don't remember sleeping with the other guy, afaic, it didn't even happen.
^ I missed this part! I thought the Asian guy was for sure....hhhhmmm.

OP....if you don't think you really slept with this other guy...that's different. I don't know...if you told your sister you did and now your family is giving you a hard time and might spill the beans and tell your boyfriend...well, that's a bad spot to be in....you can't LIE to your bf, because that's not right...the best thing if you're not sure would be to not tell him anything....but if your family is going to tell him at some point to spite you/him...then really, you have to say SOMETHING to the poor guy...I'm just not sure WHAT.

Hmmmm. What "type" is he....like, how do you think he would respond to "I was really wasted and I'm not sure what happened but there is a possibility I may have slept with this other guy" ??
post #88 of 106
That baby is adorable. She also doesn't look at all Asian. She looks part black. It sounds like your parents are trying to cause problems between you and your boyfriend.
post #89 of 106
I say don't worry about what grandma says... she comes from a more racist generation. When I started dating, my grandfather pulled me aside at Christmas dinner, and made his point about me not dating anyone who didn't look white. Guess what? I dated an AA man in college, and my husband is filipino! ...they love him after-all because they realize he is a no different than anyone else!
post #90 of 106
"Perhaps not everyone will agree with me, but my take is this. If you are in a loving, stable relationship with the African American boy, and you are already functioning as a family unit, then he is the father of your baby."



It's not that I don't think your bf is also the biological father of your child. I just don't care either way

You seem to have a toxic-relative problem, not a baby problem or a boyfriend problem. I agree with previous posters that you're going to have to tell him something, bc one of your relatives surely will at some point. Unless you can move across the country and cut off contact, you need to clear the air.

Welcome to MDC!
post #91 of 106
I'm sorry the people on the parenting site were so horrible to you. Stuff happens sometimes, you know? Doesn't mean you're a bad person.

If you're happy with your boyfriend and the little family the two of you have together, then I see no reason to shake it up. And if your family is going to be acting in ways that are destructive to that, then I think a little distance is in order.
post #92 of 106
adorable baby!! good luck, momma!
post #93 of 106
Go to familydna.com. You can test the babies y chromosone and find his genetic history and deduce from that if his paternal ancestory is black or asian. Uh oh, is your child a son? if its a girl, then you can only find the maternal history.

Sorry if i am repeating info, i did not read all the posts....hth

Maya
post #94 of 106
OMG, that is one cute baby. And I, too, would place all of my money on your current bf.

Also, mama- and this may not be a popular opinion- I wouldn't be too quick to spill the beans about that drunken maybe-hook-up with the Asian guy. I think a big part of why you doubt your man's paternity might be guilt about that other night? If you were on your period then and had been having daily sex with your bf without protection, I say it is simply soooo much more likely that your daughter is your bf's that I wouldn't worry about it.

I mean, if you feel that you were unfaithful to him, then make an effort to change that in the future and work on the aspects of yourself and your relationship that led you to hook up with someone else. But don't tell him something that will cast fear, doubt and anger into your little family together without being absolutely certain that there is a reason to do so- think about how this will affect your daughter, as well.

No judgment from me, btw! And to hell with anyone who sits on a high horse...
post #95 of 106
I just got drawn into this thread by looking at your pictures. The one below could be my ds2. I even asked my husband and he thought so, too. It looks so similar to pictures of my son about that age. Not scientific, I know, but for what it's worth my son is 1/2 black, 1/2 white. He has light skin, brown eyes and curly blondish hair, although it was dark and straight for the first several months. I keep clicking on the link because the resemblance is really quite uncanny.

Quote:
Originally Posted by angelbaby1788 View Post
post #96 of 106
Another "I think it's Victor's".

Also, your family doesn't know anything about genetic presentation if they think that a 1/2 white 1/2 black baby can't have white skin or "look white". And as far as I can tell, I bet her features will become clearer as she gets older.

Finally, she's just beautiful!!!!!!
post #97 of 106
My DH is Korean and our kiddos are 1/2 white and 1/2 Korean.

I don't think your daughter is Korean

She's SO FREAKING CUTE though!!!

Good luck mama, I hope you stick around MDC! There's lots of support here, and plenty to learn about this awesome adventure of parenting.

post #98 of 106
My DH's cousins are half black and half white. His female cousin has very light mocha (or possibly more like cafe au lait) skin and actually looks slightly Asian to me, although she's not actually Asian at all. Her younger brother has much darker skin and more typical AA features. So, I think there is a fairly wide range when it comes to what mixed race babies look like. Your daughter is gorgeous - enjoy her!
post #99 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Proud2BeAnAmerican View Post
Why not obtain a DNA test so that your daughter can know who her father is and you can get support?

Kill two (or three) birds with one stone.
post #100 of 106
Oh hunny ((BIG BIG HUGS))....

Welcome to MDC. LEt me tell you first off I was legally married and very back and forth when conceived my daughters Abrielle is 2 and Annalise is 3 months). Because I was seeing other people as well as my husband (all involved knew) I did not know if DD 2 was his (DD1 is DEF not his). I did the DNA test. I used the one from the pharmacy and it was relatively cheap a total of 150$ and got results quickly. Your not a bad person, in fact this happens more than people want to let on, better your honest than just pretend that it never happened.

For what it's worth, your daughter looks African American. She also resembles the AA man. If you had sex on your period, it is highly unlikely you were ovulating, too.
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