I am a new mom as well.. It was extremely hard for me until asia was about 2 and 1/2 months old and started smiling. By then I was getting into a routine and she was getting more and more fun, starting to smile and be more aware. Now she is almost four months old and I LOVE being a mom. She is SUPER aware of us and smiling and giggling, and thinking up new ways to make her laugh is exciting. It's hilarious some of the things she will laugh at. Sometimes, when John is holding her or if she's in her swing, I will look over at her and she will already have been staring at me with a huge grin on her face---so cute. Shes very attached to us and I love that. I love to feel so needed and love when I feel like I'm doing a good job with her. She is honestly the most adorable thing I've ever seen and it just blows my mind every day that we... MADE her, that is crazy to me. She already has such a sweet and funny little personality. I love co-sleeping with her. Waking up next to her and seeing her precious face makes me smile no matter what. Somehow even her cry is cute. Sad but cute.
Most of all I love watching her learn and grow. It's such an amazing experience. This week she has acquired the ability to do things with her hands. She can grab at toys, swat at pictures, put her hands in her mouth and suck on them, instead of her arms just flailing about aimlessly. It's really fun and exciting to watch as she learns each new thing.
Taking care of a baby is the most selfless thing you can ever do. It was hard for me to get used to this to be at the point where I could truly appreciate these things. I think once I accepted that my old life was just gone it made things much easier as well, and.. not all aspects of your old life have to be gone, babies just require SO much when they are this young that it feels like that, it's really hard to get used to having absolutely no time for yourself. It wont always be like that. I'm starting to get used to 'new life' though. Now---I really can't imagine life without her. Whenever we have someone babysit, which I have a few times the past couple weeks as were moving soon and I needed to pack, the house just feels incredibly empty and strange without her.. we always can't wait to get her back!
Sometimes I wish I could go back in time now and appreciate her more as a NEW newborn. I was too scared and overwhelmed and hormonal to really appreciate how incredibly sweet and amazing they are those first few weeks..
You should definitely get a babysitter if you need to, go out and buy some new clothes, get a haircut, do something fun JUST you, or you and your husband. Make sure you two get some time together without the baby once in awhile... John let me go shopping/get a haircut last week and we went out that night just us and it made me feel so much better
Things will get easier mama.