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DD saw Twilight at a sleepover. - Page 2

post #21 of 106
I don't think you are being over-protective by expecting that they would have run it by you first. I didn't have a problem with DD reading the first twilight or watching the movie (which she watched at her friend's house) but I get that others might want a heads up, or the freedom to say, no, it's not appropriate for my child...
post #22 of 106
The same thing has happened with my kids. While it bothers me a bit, I don't think it's enough (for my family) to make a big deal over it. The movies weren't wildly inappropriate (and Twilight was one of them), just not something that I would have shown them.
post #23 of 106
[QUOTE=Porcelain Interior;14557978]
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
I think this statement is a bit harsh.

Not everyone will make the same decisions about what is appropriate for 10 year olds to watch, but that does not mean that those with different standards have bad judgment.

[/QUOTE

I'm not taking issue with what other parents allow their own kids to watch, not judging that at all- go to town I don't care if it's not my kid. I think it's a serious lapse in judgment to allow OTHER people's children at the age of 10 to watch a PG-13 film without asking the child's parents if it's ok. The standards aren't what I'm calling bad judgment, the bad judgment is assuming I want my 10 year old child exposed to movies beyond their age range.

I would similarly be upset if the parent had allowed cable access to the kids unsupervised. We've had this happen, but not with parental permission and that is a totally different issue- kids sneaking TV that is.

I would never show a PG-13 film to a 10 year old child in my care unless the parent had explicitly told me it was A-OK to do so. (I err on the side of caution always and am probably the lamest sleepover destination on Earth because of it.)


Quote:
Originally Posted by 1growingsprout View Post
Ummm I'd be a bit more than
and that, too!!
post #24 of 106
My kids are much younger, and they have seen "Twilight," so I wouldn't have objected, but I wouldn't have shown a PG-13 movie to someone else's kids without permission.

We had a sleepover for my seven year old on Saturday, and we showed "Milo & Otis" because I knew it was really mild. I don't expect other people to stick to g-rated stuff for my kids, but most of the people who would have them sleep over know we don't censor.

If you're concerned, I would just start asking at drop-offs what movie, if any, the parents were planning on showing. That way, you could veto anything that didn't sit well with you.
post #25 of 106
My dd had a sleepover in the spring & was dying to have a Twilight party. I did ask all the parents when they dropped off their dd if they were comfortable with it. I've always done that with movies & even video games.
post #26 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
The same thing has happened with my kids. While it bothers me a bit, I don't think it's enough (for my family) to make a big deal over it. The movies weren't wildly inappropriate (and Twilight was one of them), just not something that I would have shown them.
This. I've seen Twilight, I wouldn't mind my 10yo (or even my 7yo) seeing the movie. It's nice when parents ask ahead of time, but I don't freak out over preteens seeing a PG13 movie.

In my household, video games (and their ratings) have been a much bigger deal than movies. Unless I have an opportunity to ask the parents, we stick to video games that are rated less than T for preteens. If the kids want to play something more violent, I always ask first.
post #27 of 106
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all of the replies!

The movie was actually spur of the moment - the birthday girl got it as one of her gifts, so I don't really fault the mom for not running it past me and/or letting me know beforehand. I just think it may have been saved for another time and place after she had run it by parents.

And, I have read the books (well, the first 3, they steadily declined in quality and I can't bring myself to crack open the last one). BUT, the mom hadn't! That surprised me as well. Although, we are very close with this family and know each other well, it's not something that is a deal-breaker but will definitely be brought up again at the next sleepover.

As for the movie, DD liked it okay. She's seen scarier movies (thanks to her uncles and by choice). But, I have no room to talk, when I was her age, my favorite movies were the Psycho series and the Nightmare on Elm Street films. I LOVED scary movies (still do) and gore.

As for the sensual moments, I'm not sure what they were but I'm sure she 'got them'. We're very open about those kinds of things.

Maybe I should rent it now just to rewatch it with her.
post #28 of 106
I honestly can't think of any sensual moments in that movie. Maybe a few romantic ones, and one very cheese, cliche romantic one at the end.
post #29 of 106
I think that it's a great idea to rent the movie and watch it together. I'd like to see it myself, lol.
post #30 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
Maybe I should rent it now just to rewatch it with her.
It might make you feel better. The movie is really very bland, IMO.
post #31 of 106
My sister took me to see Natural Born Killers at the CINEMA when i was 13!

I have never heard of Twilight and when i read the thread title thought maybe you were mad because they let her stay up too late. LOL, i have preggy brain kicking in!

If *I* was having a sleepover i'd run the movie by the other parents beforehand, but if my DD saw something like that at 10 at another person's home, unless it was wildly innappropriate/giving her nightmares i would let it go. Some of the books i had readby 10 were a LOT scarier than the movies. I LOVE The Shining, it's my favourite horror, but the book is terrifying compared to the film.
post #32 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior View Post
No, but then again it's hard to have nightmares if you can't go to sleep. I watched The Shining when I was 6 because she didn't want to watch it alone, my older sister and younger brother also watched it. We watched nearly every horror movie, blood, sex, guts, violence all of it with my mother. I have been deathly afraid of the dark and suffered insomnia my whole life.
I understand. I watched Exorcist films with my older brother when I was 7-ish and it really troubled me for a long time. When I did sleep, I had wicked dreams for a long time.

Quote:
My mom was a very "watch/read whatever you want" type of person and I'm not that way with my kids until they reach a certain age.
I think it is wise to protect our children form themes, images, etc until developmentally and emotionally mature. My kids have a lot of freedom that is appropriate for their age. As they mature, that freedom goes along with them. So far they are responsible for their age but I do shield them and protect them from things too mature for them.
post #33 of 106
After DD saw a horror movie at a sleepover and had nightmares for days I started asking when I call to RSVP if they will be watching any movies and if so what they will be. Most of the time the moms are happy to let me know what the plan is for the evening.

DD also knows it's her responsibility to check with her dad or I if she gets somewhere and they are showing a movie that's pg-13 or R. She is 13. She texts us and we discuss it. Only once has there been one we really felt uncomfortable with. Now I can't even remember what it was, but it was rated R. I was worried that it would make her an outcast among the kids when we said no, but she said a lot of the kids looked relieved and said they really didn't want to watch it anyway.
post #34 of 106
I would never show a pg-13 movie to a 10 year old and I always ask parents if a movie is okay before we watch anything when friends sleepover. It's just a good idea because everyone has diff ideas of what is acceptable.

My 12 yr old dd goes to a very small school and the parents all try to communicate what we think is okay and ask a lot of questions. This may be harder in a larger school when there are more friends and you don't know the parents very well.
post #35 of 106
Honestly, I wouldn't have thought anything about showing a group of 10-year-old girls "Twilight." Have you seen it? There's really nothing questionable in it at all... only one kiss, even. I'm thinking the PG-13 rating must just be for the "violence," which is minimal. This is a very tame movie, IMO. But this does give me food for thought for future sleepovers.
post #36 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Porcelain Interior View Post
My mom was a very "watch/read whatever you want" type of person and I'm not that way with my kids until they reach a certain age.
My parents too! My dad would allow us full reign in the horror section of the video store and then he'd go out that night and leave my bro, sis and I to watch whatever,
I don't think there's scary movie out there that I haven't seen and I regret it. I too am afraid of the dark, being alone, *things* under my bed

Having said that, the supervising parents should have asked permission to show a movie like Twilight, or any PG13 for that matter.
ETA: I even asked a mom in our complex if her son could watch Jurassic Park
post #37 of 106
LOL I saw one of the Chucky movies at a youth group get together. Scared me soooo bad.

But yes I agree that if you are watching movies or taking other ppl's kids to the movies you should consult with the other parents about what they find acceptable ratings for their kids. Plus you never know what's going on in a kids life. I would sure hate to show "Marley and me" to a kid whose dog just died or something like that. Or a vampire flick to a kid who was especially sensitive.
post #38 of 106
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post #39 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmalizz View Post
There's kissing, teenage cleavage (and commenting on it), and heavy making out with a teen girl in just a shirt and panties.
Yes, we are quite open about kissing and breasts in our house.

And "IMO" (which is in my earlier post) means "in my opinion."
post #40 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by becoming View Post
Yes, we are quite open about kissing and breasts in our house.

And "IMO" (which is in my earlier post) means "in my opinion."
But that's the exact point. YOU are, but not all families of 10 year olds are. It's about respecting the different standards of different families.
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