Originally Posted by journeymom
I guess I don't know what 'free ranging parenting' is. What has this got to do with letting your kid ride a bike to the library or walk alone to school or take a bus, solo?
How in the world is this allowing another parent to 'impose' their rules at your house? Maybe it's just polite consideration?
To me, at least, it's a philosophy about allowing kids freedom to make choices within boundaries that tend to be slacker than seem to be the norm around here.
By the time I was 10, I had the ability to walk to the video store myself, rent a video of any rating G->R, bring it home and watch it with my friends without my parents even being aware of what was being viewed. My parents would have never have thought to call the parents of my friends to "ask" them if they were allowed to view some movie or another . . . because my parents wouldn't have been aware of what was being viewed. That type of day-to-day, minute-to-minute supervision was never employed. That's why kids whose parents demanded that type of supervision were excluded--because my parents trusted us to make good decisions, OR to get them involved immediately if the decisions we made went wrong. They weren't going to change their rules, or their methods of supervision because some particular kid was over.
But that isn't to say that my parents were uninvolved. We had many family discussions over time about the affects of media, of media-displayed violence, and etc on our own perceptions. If there was ever anything I wanted to talk about to my parents, they were always willing to sit down, watch it with me (if it was a video), discuss it without any judgment as to why it had been chosen.
What I can say is that I NEVER felt the desire to lie to my parents what anything I'd viewed (or read, or learned for that matter), never felt that I had any reason not to tell them about something. I showed this thread to my husband, and got a several hour story-telling of the many times he had lied/deceived his parents about the video-viewing he'd done at various friends houses, because his parents did have rules like "no PG-13 before 13", or "no 9pm shows before 13".
Ironically, given where we live, my kid isn't going to be able to have exactly the types of freedoms that I had--and kind of wish that he could. But I look around at how my neighbors (several of whom will very explicitly tell you that their philosophy is similar to mine) act and supervise, and I see myself doing things about the same way as he gets older (my neighbors have kids up through their late teenaged years). The kid currently has, and will continue to have, access to dvds that I consider to be of value, without much regard to rating. He's going to be trusted to make decisions regarding what he wants to watch. I really can't see him being 10 years old, and saying that "hey, generally I trust you to make your own decisions [within the boundaries I have set, here by including the dvds within the dvds you have access to], but when Bobby is over, you need my approval to watch anything because Bobby's parents are hung up on a specific rating system."