CLW & Fertility (or rather infertility)

[themammy]

I suppose this could be cross-posted in ttc, but I want to talk to mamas who are happily bfing their toddlers.

My 26 month old is still bfing happily, A LOT. For the past 5 cycles, I have been ttc with no luck (got AF back when ds was 13 months old). I conceived ds on 1st attempt, after miscarriage where I also got pregnant frist attempt.

My LLL leader gave me a book about natural child spacing where I read that even though I have my period, ovulation could actually still be suppressed by ds's feeding. And I read somewhere else that for some women, just 100 minutes a day at the breast is enough to inihibit fertility. My ds certainly gets more than that. He still feeds regularly through the night. I also read not to do anything about suspected infertility while still bfing, as it is likely that the breastfeeding is the cause.

I LOVE feeding him. I think it would be traumautic and unfair to both of us to wean him just to try to get pregnant. The thing is, I am 37. And part of me is worried that in letting him CLW to his own agenda, could there be a risk that no. 2 never comes along? And in my own personal opinion, I think it would be crueller to raise him as an only child than to deny him his boobie.

It's all kind of hypothetical anyway -as I can't imagine actually going through with it (weaning). Maybe if there a few more failed attempts at ttc I may feel differently in a few months.

Have any of you been through these feelings, particularly older mums who know your time for having more children may be running out? I believe mother nature always knows best and that following her path may take me somewhere I didn't expect, but it's probably for the best in the bigger picture (but I would be sad to think there would be no more babies....).

Sorry for rambling...

Any thoughts or comments or experiences would be most welcome

xx The Mammy

[Magali]

Interesting thread. I am still breastfeeding my 2.5 year old around the clock. I got af back at 3 months pp. It took us about a year to concieve our son, so we thought we would start ttc when our baby was 8 months old. Well, not hard core ttc, but nothing to prevent pregnancy. Well fast forward 2 years later and nothing. I gave up ttc a few months ago thinking that either dh or myself have something wrong with us and another child just isn't in the cards for us. I have never heard that breatfeeding can affect fertility even though I am menstruating regularily every month. But I am so happy to be bfing my toddler still. He needs it so much and perhaps this lack of a 2nd pregnancy is just mother nature's way of working everything out so that my son gets all he needs. I am 32 now, and I understand how you feel about not wanting to wean, but still being sad about no more babies. I've had to get over the fact that I have always thought that it would be best for my son to have siblings. Because although it isn't what I would have planned, I don't seem to have much choice in the matter and dh and I will give him the best life we can. So I am trying, to focus on the positives of him being an only child, rather than the negatives. Anyways, great topic for a thread. This has been on my mind a lot lately.

[AbbieB]

I'm 38. It took 2 years of TTC every freaking cycle to conceive DS. I was nursing his sister the entire time. She was night weaned but still nursed 8 or 10 times during the day for most of theat time.

The second year I cried a lot and was so scared that I was infertile. I tried all kinds of dietary changes, herbs, supplements, etc... I was ovulating regularly but my lutal phase was still being suppressed. It was only 9 days at the time I conceived. It was 6 when I first started ovulating and then gradually lengthened to 9.

I consulted with a few medical professionals (not a fertility expert) and man did they think I was just stupid. I got a lot of "She's to big to nurse, just cut her off.", "You can't possibly know you are ovulating.", "Breast feeding does not affect fertility.", "You can't get pregnant if you are nursing.", "Here is a prescription for Clomid."

I strongly believed that DD was still needing to nurse so stopping was not an option. I also worried that if I weaned and then still could not conceive that I would have made a huge mistake. I just was not willing to sacrifice
DD's happiness for a baby that might never be.

The cycle I conceived I had a nasty virus that had me breaking out in intolerably itchy hives with a high fever. I was given a prescription for something that basically knocked me out 20 hours a day for about a week (well, maybe not that much but I milked it for the sleep) so DD hardly nursed at all. I can't remember what half of my cycle this happened. But i am betting the abrupt slow down in nursing coupled with being close to the minimum 10 day lutal phase is what did it for me.

[lurve]

sometimes i just think its our bodies being smarter than what our minds want. your body may not be ready because it is using so much energy for nursing. your baby may need you now. i know, i had to let go of all my expectations. I didn't get AF back until 28 months after DD was born. then i got pregnant on my third cycle and it was easy. my body was just ready. good luck!

[zensven42]

Have you tried using ovulation tests to see if you are ovulating? You can also chart your cycle to see if your ovulation is predictable and you luteal cycle is long enough. There are many reasons you may not be getting pregnant that have nothing to do with the breastfeeding, as many breastfeeding mothers do conceive. If you current little one needs the nursies, it might be best to just let nature do its thing and let weaning and conception occur in their own time. sometimes just letting go and relaxing can make it easier to conceive. I am in the same boat right now TTC for 6 months with an almost 3yo nurser but no luck yet. I wish luck to both of us, LOL!

PS: I got my AF back 4 weeks after all my childrens' births. Can you believe it! Prolly didn't ovulate but I wish It had waited. I have a regular cycel length now and am ovulating but still no luck. I figure it is only a matter of time...

[themammy]

Just thought I'd get back in touch to say I got a BFP this morning !

I couldn't face another month of trying, so we didn't try, barely did the deed at all... & here we are.

I said I believed in the wisdom of mother nature and I would just follow her path.

I am soooo glad now that I didn't do anything to restrict ds's bfing.

So good luck to the rest of you and hope some of this luck rubs off.

xx The Mammy

[Mama~Love]

Glad you got your BFP! I've only had 1 cycle in 3 years, and that was almost a year ago. It's very hard since I've wanted another like immediately after I had my last. DD quit nursing a few weeks ago, just wasn't interested anymore. She will be 3 next month.

[Shanny2032]

How exciting - congrats on your BFP, glad that it is all working out. I have a slightly different problem in that I am 37 (DD is almost 1) and I am single, used donor sperm, had fertiltiy issues and needed meds to get pregnant. I don't plan to have #2 for a few years if at all which scares me in itself since I will be 40+. If DD is still nursing I think that will be the straw that breaks the camels back as far as making the decision for me that #2 is not in the cards for our family. I agree that everything happens for a reason so I will just let nature take it's course and see what happens. Congrats again!

[Magali]

I got my positive yesterday . Interestingly enough, ds weaned 3 weeks ago, while I was mid cycle. And after 2 years of ttc while nursing...I am pregnant. Conincidence...maybe. But I am leaning towards thinking that my body just wasn't ready to be pregant again while nursing.