This would be the way I'd handle it. This describes very closely the way we handle food in our house, and we've had a lot of success with it.
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Originally Posted by Thalia the Muse
 I think that not offering unlimited snacks is a great way to manage the situation. I'm a big fan of Ellyn Satter's work, in books like "Child of Mine." It's the parents' job to decide when and what a family eats, and the child's job to decide whether and how much to eat of what is offered. If you throw your lunch on the floor, the natural consequence is that you get hungry before dinner.
So, a couple of things might help: Make sure that there's at least one food on the table that he does usually like -- a favorite fruit, or bread and butter, or whatever -- so that he's not left going hungry because he genuinely hates an entire meal. Do not coax, cajole, nag, or order him to eat any part of his meal, even if him not eating it bugs you, even if it's "healthy" and good for him. Do not ever, ever, ever give in to whining. Not in public, not at home, not ever. One polite request for a treat is OK -- if the answer to the request is "no," it must not ever, ever, ever be changed to "yes" by repeated asking, whining, screaming, or tantrums. He is whining and throwing fits because it works -- you give him what he wants -- so he has every incentive to keep doing it. I mean, I'd whine too if it made people do what I wanted! He doesn't have to eat when you make food -- that is his business, not yours -- but he can't throw it on the floor. Food-throwing means that that meal is over right this minute and he can try again at the next meal. You don't have to punish or get upset, just take the plate away the second any food goes airborne, because clearly that meal is over. He is still a very little guy, so I'd build scheduled, formal snacktime into the day. It doesn't mean he gets junk food whenever he whines for it, just that you have five meals (or whatever works for you) every day, at the same times, made out of healthy foods that you feel comfortable feeding him. Snacks can be fruit and cheesesticks, or whatever. That way he never has to go terribly long without a chance to eat if he's hungry, and also that if he blows a meal by throwing food (and at first, I'm sure he will!) he gets another chance in a couple of hours, instead of waiting from lunch to dinner. He might behave a lot better if there's a clear, comforting routine, and he always knows when to expect to eat, too. It can be chaotic and a little scary for a young kid if sometimes you say yes, sometimes no, sometimes no can be turned into yes by your behavior, and he can never be sure what to expect. |
