I cannot do this anymore...please, please help! - Page 2

[mama k nj]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole

Have you read Sleepless in America? I put it off because it's not really a sleep solution book but it finally made me GET IT. Some kids can roll with the day, go with the flow, and still get enough rest and some kids need more. More structure, more predictability, the right stimulation at the right time. It made a HUGE difference for us. I wish I had read it two years earlier.

I haven't heard of this one! Must check it out.
That is SO my DS1. He does sooo much better with a routine. Unfortunately I am a go-with-the-flow person. So I have had to really work on that to give him what he needs.

[elleystar]

I remember this time very well. Nine months...ahhh...the magical time of teeth, new mobility, growth spurts, and the requisite sleep issues. I didn't think I'd live through it. Hugs to you. I hope you'll be getting some better nights soon.

Originally Posted by FleurMS

I recommend Elizabeth Pantley's book The No Cry Sleep Solution. She has many ideas for gently getting babies and toddlers to go longer stretches at night, so mums and dads aren't so sleep deprived.

You can read about it on her website - I think the site may have a few tips from the book as well. Our local library had both books, and they were also easy to get at our local bookstores, or on Amazon etc.

http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/index.html

This. I can NOT believe it took me so long to read it. (DS was around 14 months then.) A friend of mine got it and used it on her DD who was then 9 months, and going through a lot of what you're describing. She actually told me that the nights were so bad she would think about putting her own head in the oven. The book worked great for her (and it turned out her DD is not a co-sleeping kid, needed her own space, on top of other issues). But I kind of brushed it off, thinking the ideas sounded nice but it couldn't possibly work for us and our problems. I was way wrong and wish we'd started it much earlier.

When this all blows over and you're better rested, you probably want to start reading about the 18 month sleep regression. That's what we're going through right now. If I had prepared myself ahead of time we wouldn't have spent 6 weeks with me being the Worst Mother of the Year.

[dmpmercury]

mama. I know exactly how you feel because I was just there. 9 months was a really bad time for sleep for my ds. It was a really tough time for me. I know others can sleep good nursing constantly all night but I wasn't one of them. I remember in the middle of the night where I needed sleep so desperately and there he was up again not going back to sleep after nursing and I couldn't help myself but yell. I didn't have the strength to keep patting him. I remember being so tired during the day barely having the energy to move and my dd or ds fussiness would send me over the edge. I didn't even know who to turn to because either people thought I should have him CIO in the crib because their babies sleep so good. Or they told me that is how babies sleep and there is nothing you can do. I was happy with my life and kids but feeling depressed because of the lack of sleep. I felt like such a bad mom.

What finally improved things was moving my son to a crib in his own room. I didn't do that with my dd but I needed to do it with him. He is just to wakeful and restless when he sleeps in the bed. If I moved a finger he was up wanting to nurse. He want to nurse all night long.

It was a very gradual process to help him learn to fall asleep in his crib with less and less help. Right now he needs a little singing. I used tips from a couple different books including the no cry sleep solution and did my own thing. If he got really upset I picked him up and if he was just fussing I patted him. When he started doing the occasional good stretch I would pat him instead of nursing him for night wakings as long as he didn't protest to much. He still woke a lot but it was better. I recently night weaned him some more and it didn't seem to work at first. I used to think that he would never sleep good. He was learning to put himself to sleep at bedtime and didn't even need to nurse during the night but he was still waking a lot. Lately things have been really improving and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I think the excitement of walking has passed.

I hope you figure something out and if you don't I hope it passes. 9 month can be a bad age for sleep for some babies. I know how it is and just wanted you to know you aren't alone.

[Harmony08]

The only thing that ever helped me in those bad times was to get away and get DH's help. Sleep in another room. You can still nurse him every 3 or 4 hours or whatever you think he needs but then you can leave and go back to sleep. If he isn't asleep after nursing, then it is DH's problem. Obviously this is not an awesome option but after a few nights you will probably feel better about everything. Then maybe you can try the shift thing. Don't do it alone. There is nothing worse than going through it alone. Or maybe DH can take him in the morning and you can sleep in. I hope it is getting better.

[mommyx12]

I agree with one of the other posters. Do you have a place "just" for him? Your post did not say whether or not you do. Of my 12 kids, they all slept with us. Number 5 comes along and absolutely NO WAY. She HAD to have HER little space. She would sleep for hours. Now, I'll move on to my twins. We co slept with them, nursed on demand, etc, for about 9 months when it dawned on me that I NEEDED to put them on some schedule. First time as a mom to do that but I too was sleep deprived. And trying to homeschool 7 other children. I was wore out. One thing that did work though was Emma, one of the twins; loved sleeping in the swing. That was all I could do. She would sleep for hours that way. Kaydee, the other twin was a good sleeper anyway for the most part so when I finally found the secret to keeping Emma sleeping I was in heaven. Perhaps your little guy needs that too. Something, to keep in asleep. Like the swing, his crib maybe.

[Writerbird]

Ugh

9-10 months were bad with my little man, too. Around 15 months we had a biting episode. For a few days there I was scared to nurse him.

And now at 20 months we're coming up on a solid week of nursing every two hours... except for 4 AM, when he wakes up ready to party but so tired he's swaying. Nothing gets him back asleep until 6.

What I mean is, these are all phases. They seem to last a few weeks, and they go away. My personal theory is growth spurt related. Seems like the sleeping thing settles down when they pop into new diaper sizes.

Not that my guy has ever been a GOOD sleeper, but I call it good when he goes two or three hours before nursing.

I'm rambling, sorry. Hang in there. I've screamed like a crazy thing. Don't be afraid to apologize to the baby. But do know that the security and love from cosleeping and nursing helps them more than the occasional breakdown hurts them. My guy is a happy, independent, affectionate little person, even if Mama occasionally loses her mind at 4 AM.