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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? IV - Page 6

post #101 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
Why is everyone so shocked when I tell them my EBF DS is dairy sensitive?

"Yeah, we can't have dairy."
"But, isn't he breastfed?"

Is that a subtle jab at the size of my butt??
or the ones that are confused because he can still eat eggs....

its surprising how many people (including my mom, and ds's daycare teacher) think eggs are dairy.... well maybe not, i swear i saw something on a wic brochure that said something alongs the lines of "wic provides dairy products such as milk, cheese and eggs"

it was hard to explain it to his new teacher on the first day while trying not to make her feel like an idiot...eggs arent dairy... dairy comes from cows.... eggs do not come from cows... eggs arent dairy
post #102 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by quester View Post
The absolute worst for me was when my (now ex) MIL came to visit after my second child was born. My firstborn was 2 and she told him "You can come live with me. They have a new baby and don't need you anymore." I tend to be extremely nonconfrontational but I told her (also in front of my child because I felt he needed to hear) that it was not true and she was NEVER to say such a thing to one of my children. She replied that he didn't understand what she was saying.
Oh no!!!! Who would say that to a baby. I am filing this away for i we decide to have a second, because I can actually see my mom and sister saying this to DS. That would break my heart to hear someone tell my child that.
post #103 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by bandgeek View Post
I had to take DD to children's the other day to get her feeding tube changed out. She has a J tube so they have to do it in radiology. I was sitting there waiting and her nurse was suctioning her and this lady sitting across from us said, "They've been feeding her formula haven't they?"

I was like "whaaaat?" What the hell does formula have to do with my child's medical condition? I'm not loving formula...I'm a total bf'ing supporter, and I do recognize there are risks to formula feeding. But uh...formula doesn't cause CP, feeding disorders, dysphagia, ect.

I explained that DD wasn't on ANYTHING because her gut stopped working and we were changing out her tube as a last resort and then she goes on to tell me that her DD has CP and she's 22 and blah, blah, blah. Ok so wouldn't she recognize that my DD had similar issues and formula isn't the cause? Or maybe she just thought milk=mucous production, but not all formula has milk in it.

Then she starts telling me that I should be glad she still so small and not to look forward to when she's bigger because they are so hard to move around and I should be doing this, this, and this in the future to keep her healthy.

HELLO!? Do you not see my child in respiratory distress and a has non-functioning gut!? I'm just trying to get her through the day alive...I don't think I have to worry about those things! I know there are different severities of CP and maybe she didn't realize my DD is quite severe and her predicted lifespan is not very long...still I TOLD her that her gut stopped functioning...you'd think she'd get the hint that the only plans I'm worried about are whether or not to put in a line or let her starve to death (neither a long-term option, but whatever).

Probably a rant best saved for the SN board, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to put it here. Lesson: Even if you think you know about someone's condition...you probably don't. Don't assume and make comments. I've got a child possibly going to hospice in the next few weeks. Her formula has nothing to do with it.
post #104 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by anj_rn View Post
Nice lady at our church said, you have to start giving her rice cereal so she will sleep. I told her my EBF daughter was already sleeping through the night (6 hrs). Her response:

Maybe your dh is slipping the cereal into the lik without you knowing it.

Images of my dh trying to inject my boobs w/ cereal while I was sleeping made me laugh,
This made me think of the Family Guy episode where the mom is weaning the baby (yay for bf'ing cartoons), and he goes into her room at night while she's sleeping, and steals her breast milk by attaching a pump to her, then he spills the milk as he's leaving the room.
post #105 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
At my BFFs baby shower today, she was opening gifts, and among the several things I got her were The Baby Book and The Breastfeeding Book by Dr Sears. We share similar values on kids, and she's already in possession of my copy of The Pregnancy Book and her DH has spent time thumbing through my copy of The Breastfeeding Book.

Her mom comments, "Don't worry, it just comes naturally."


This just makes me FUME. She made this comment to my friend when I was seeing a LC (or 3), "Just stick the baby on, she'll get what she needs." I asked, "Did you mention to your mom that the baby is doing deep tissue damage and may do permanent damage if I continue to nurse her?" "Uh, no, I forgot that part." Just because something is easy for ONE person doesn't mean it is easy for everyone. And my friend is very concerned for herself after witnessing our epic struggle. I hope she finds many reassuring answers in the book, which she was thrilled to get. (Take that friend's mom!)

In that same vein, in the comments for a blog (I believe about "banning the [formula] bags" in hospitals), someone commented in response to someone:

"If you can make any milk at all, you can make enough milk for your baby. Always."

I have never wanted to go primeval on anyone as much as that ignorant woman ever, ever. I don't even know who she is, but she thinks she knows everything when she obviously knows not very much at all. Way to totally invalidate any low-supply mom who crosses your path. You are why most mainstreamers think breastfeeding advocates are pushy, obnoxious and self-righteous.
post #106 of 201
My 13 y/o & I were out getting our pumpkin the other night & this woman started chatting with me. My 4 month old was in my moby & dd was sitting beside me. About halfway into this conversation she struck up she starts baby talking to ds & says 'Aww you're so cute, you must have been mommies little accident.'

I calmly told her that he wasn't(all the while trying to catch my balance mentally from the comment)...she then proceeds to look at my 13 y/o & ask her "Oh were you an accident?"

Wth woman..I mean feel free to think it by all means but to ask things like that to the kid? I feel like having a shirt made that says 'Yes they're ALL mine & no, none of them were accidents."

I wish I thought quicker on my feet so I could have told her something that might make her think before opening her yap to say such stupid crap next time. Who says that sort of thing in front of the kids like that?
post #107 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by KarlaC View Post
My 13 y/o & I were out getting our pumpkin the other night & this woman started chatting with me. My 4 month old was in my moby & dd was sitting beside me. About halfway into this conversation she struck up she starts baby talking to ds & says 'Aww you're so cute, you must have been mommies little accident.'

I calmly told her that he wasn't(all the while trying to catch my balance mentally from the comment)...she then proceeds to look at my 13 y/o & ask her "Oh were you an accident?"

Wth woman..I mean feel free to think it by all means but to ask things like that to the kid? I feel like having a shirt made that says 'Yes they're ALL mine & no, none of them were accidents."

I wish I thought quicker on my feet so I could have told her something that might make her think before opening her yap to say such stupid crap next time. Who says that sort of thing in front of the kids like that?
post #108 of 201
Yesterday, I got on the bus with DD in the Ergo. A couple of women on the bus started cooing "I wish they had those when my kids were little!" and I said, "actually, they did."

Then she went on to give me advice (don't you love when total strangers do this), saying, "if you want the baby to be able to sleep through anything, make sure you leave the TV on all the time so she gets used to sleeping with plenty of noise around her."



I should have said, "yes, but then how am I supposed to tolerate having the noise around me all day??"
post #109 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Comtessa View Post
Yesterday, I got on the bus with DD in the Ergo. A couple of women on the bus started cooing "I wish they had those when my kids were little!" and I said, "actually, they did."

Then she went on to give me advice (don't you love when total strangers do this), saying, "if you want the baby to be able to sleep through anything, make sure you leave the TV on all the time so she gets used to sleeping with plenty of noise around her."



I should have said, "yes, but then how am I supposed to tolerate having the noise around me all day??"
Go with "Oh, we don't have a TV" instead. (even if you do) Throws 'em off every time!
post #110 of 201
I got one!

We had the 2 little girls that my best friend, their paternal grandparents and I raised (we juggled them since they were born...loooong story) over for dinner/hanging out/the usual. My friend's sister comes in and when the 2 year old didn't want to talk to her (she was tired and (therefore) cranky) she goes "Don't worry, you're my favorite anyway".....RIGHT IN FRONT OF BOTH OF THEM!!!!!

Needless to say, I told her off for it.
post #111 of 201
I work in a big box retail store. Yesterday, I was working checkout and a woman came through with this absolutely gorgeous little girl, around 2yo. She looked a bit tired/cranky, so I gave her a big grin and said "Hi!" Her mom said, "Say hi." The girl just kind of pouted, which is understandable if she's tired and I didn't think a thing of it. The mom glared at her for a sec, then rolled her eyes and said, "She's a brat." Then continued the transaction like nothing. This sort of thing happens all. the. time. I say hi to every kid that comes through my line and sometimes I have to ask them to sit down in the cart or something like that and I'm always hearing kids called brats, bad, terrible, trouble, a nightmare. Right there in front of them! Do people really not think being called this is going to affect the way a kid thinks about themselves?

I don't remember if I mentioned this one before, but there's a woman in one of my classes, who's constantly referring to one of her granddaughters as the spawn of Satan. She apparently thinks this is hilarious. Once, her daughter came and sat in on the class and she said it again and both of them laughed. I feel sorry for the poor little girl who's mom and grandma are always telling her how evil she is.
post #112 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by minkajane View Post
I work in a big box retail store. Yesterday, I was working checkout and a woman came through with this absolutely gorgeous little girl, around 2yo. She looked a bit tired/cranky, so I gave her a big grin and said "Hi!" Her mom said, "Say hi." The girl just kind of pouted, which is understandable if she's tired and I didn't think a thing of it. The mom glared at her for a sec, then rolled her eyes and said, "She's a brat." Then continued the transaction like nothing. This sort of thing happens all. the. time. I say hi to every kid that comes through my line and sometimes I have to ask them to sit down in the cart or something like that and I'm always hearing kids called brats, bad, terrible, trouble, a nightmare. Right there in front of them! Do people really not think being called this is going to affect the way a kid thinks about themselves?

I don't remember if I mentioned this one before, but there's a woman in one of my classes, who's constantly referring to one of her granddaughters as the spawn of Satan. She apparently thinks this is hilarious. Once, her daughter came and sat in on the class and she said it again and both of them laughed. I feel sorry for the poor little girl who's mom and grandma are always telling her how evil she is.
Those poor kids! There are these three really high-spirited boys in our school who everyone says (in front of them) that they're a nightmare, trouble, etc. I swear, I'm the only person aside from their mother who stands up for them. It's terrible the things we say about children sometimes.
post #113 of 201
I agree. In the ped's office waiting room it was me with my 3.5 month old and a mom with a 4 month old (who the appointment was for) and a 4 year old. He was doing typical 4-year-old stuff, asking me lots of questions, watching the fishtank, crawling under chairs, kneeling on chairs. Nothing particularly dangerous or disruptive and it was just the two of us there.

At one point she made the comment that her daughter was OK, but he's (motioning to her son who was RIGHT THERE looking at her) Horrible.

She also at one point threatened him with "shots" if he didn't sit down and behave.


But the part that made me sad more than appalled was when she asked me what formula DD was on. I responded (nicely, as I understand BFing struggles better than most) "She's actually breastfed."

She kind of looked self-conscious and looked at the floor and said, "Of course, that's best. Breastfeeding is best." She said she was breastfeeding but she had to stop for two days and then all her milk was gone. She said it like it was a total surprise for her. It just made my heart break that someone who might have been willing and able to breastfeed didn't have the knowledge or support to know that 1)her milk would dry up if she quit BFing for several days, 2) she could have pumped to keep up her supply, or 3) she could have easily relactated when her daughter was that young.

As much as people get pissy on my mainstream parenting sites when you even suggest that many (hypothetical) women don't succeed at breastfeeding because they aren't educated on it (most responding "I'm totally educated on breastfeeding, but my milk never came in/I didn't make enough/I dried up when she was a month old), women like her are living proof that BFing education/general knowledge is still a problem.
post #114 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
She also at one point threatened him with "shots" if he didn't sit down and behave.
Oh, this drives me mad. As if it's not scary enough to get a shot when you're a kid, the thought of a parent threatening it as a punishment just makes me sick.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post
As much as people get pissy on my mainstream parenting sites when you even suggest that many (hypothetical) women don't succeed at breastfeeding because they aren't educated on it (most responding "I'm totally educated on breastfeeding, but my milk never came in/I didn't make enough/I dried up when she was a month old), women like her are living proof that BFing education/general knowledge is still a problem.
Well said. My mother told me she stopped BFing me at 6w because her doctor was making her record how much milk I was getting (I was really small) and he yelled at her for writing down frequency and duration of breastfeeding instead of the number of ounces. Told her that if she wasn't invested in her child's health, she could just get out of his practice. So she switched to formula and the doctor was apparently happier. And sadly, this happens all.the.time. Still.
post #115 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sk8ermaiden View Post


She also at one point threatened him with "shots" if he didn't sit down and behave.
I would have said something right then and there. I have said this before in other threads, but parents should be really sensitive to how this is handled. It has LIFE LONG implications.


Quote:
As much as people get pissy on my mainstream parenting sites when you even suggest that many (hypothetical) women don't succeed at breastfeeding because they aren't educated on it (most responding "I'm totally educated on breastfeeding, but my milk never came in/I didn't make enough/I dried up when she was a month old), women like her are living proof that BFing education/general knowledge is still a problem.
[/QUOTE]

So true. My MIL is always talking about how she couldn't BF her kids, but in probably half of his baby pictures, someone is giving him a bottle of water. I feel for the woman though, she really and truly did try, I just think she was given the wrong information (although, 20 years ago, info from doctors was different).
post #116 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by SactoMommy View Post
(although, 20 years ago, info from doctors was different).
Not really. A friend of mine told me that her ped told her the following about breastfeeding: "The first 3 months if for baby's benefit. Anything after that is for the mom. The baby gets no benefit at all." So she quit nursing after 3 months. The same ped also told her to put her son in his crib when he wasn't being fed and to not pick him up and carry him around ever. The really sad thing is that her son had a twin brother who died a couple of weeks after birth due to a severe, undiagnosed heart defect. Not only did she loose a baby, but she hardly bonded with her other baby because she religiously followed the very bad parenting advice she got from her ped.
post #117 of 201
that's terrible. I wonder if these doctors actually follow their own "parenting" advice...
post #118 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepingbeauty View Post
that's terrible. I wonder if these doctors actually follow their own "parenting" advice...
I think what's scarier is that a lot of them do.... this goes for doctors or the random lady at Wal-Mart. It always amazes me what people do to children.
post #119 of 201
I saw this lolcats and thought it pertained to this thread. I totally felt like this after my daughter was born and family and friends wanted to hold her.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/1...cant-hold-her/
post #120 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by TopHat View Post
I saw this lolcats and thought it pertained to this thread. I totally felt like this after my daughter was born and family and friends wanted to hold her.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/1...cant-hold-her/
Heeheehee!
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