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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? IV - Page 7

post #121 of 201
For the calling kids terrible names... I just want to say that sometimes, that is context. I come from a very large, loud, Italian and Jewish family and the kids were routinely called "names", but with a big, honest, loving smiles. It was kind of a joke, and everyone had a measure of pride with being a bit scrappy or mouthy (including the parents- "Oh, he's such a pain in the ass!" kind of translated to "Oh, my kid is such a rascal, but so funny!"). "Brat" was usually a term of endearment said with smiles all around after you pinched dessert from the table and everyone laughed at your chutzpah.

I call my own kids "Big Trouble" and "Little Trouble". They both grin and we all giggle at their little acts of rebellion.

To families and cultures that just don't work like this, the idea of calling a kid a brat or a pain in the ass sounds just plain terrible and could never be OK. But sometimes it's not quite what it seems. I'm not sure if I am really explaining this well.

Now, if these people were *serious* about calling these kids these names, then fire away! That IS terrible .
post #122 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexsam View Post
For the calling kids terrible names... I just want to say that sometimes, that is context. I come from a very large, loud, Italian and Jewish family and the kids were routinely called "names", but with a big, honest, loving smiles. It was kind of a joke, and everyone had a measure of pride with being a bit scrappy or mouthy (including the parents- "Oh, he's such a pain in the ass!" kind of translated to "Oh, my kid is such a rascal, but so funny!"). "Brat" was usually a term of endearment said with smiles all around after you pinched dessert from the table and everyone laughed at your chutzpah.

I call my own kids "Big Trouble" and "Little Trouble". They both grin and we all giggle at their little acts of rebellion.

To families and cultures that just don't work like this, the idea of calling a kid a brat or a pain in the ass sounds just plain terrible and could never be OK. But sometimes it's not quite what it seems. I'm not sure if I am really explaining this well.

Now, if these people were *serious* about calling these kids these names, then fire away! That IS terrible .
I understand completely! My family is a bit like this too, it's definitely cultural. My sister lovingly referred to my niece as a brat when she was a toddler...and many found it hilarious when my niece started talking and would often say "Brat!" with a big grin on her face!

I know not everyone would agree with it, but it's just not a big deal in our family.
post #123 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by TopHat View Post
I saw this lolcats and thought it pertained to this thread. I totally felt like this after my daughter was born and family and friends wanted to hold her.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2009/1...cant-hold-her/
OMGoodness! I am so NOT into cutesy, mushy pics, and I don't even really like cats, but this is beyond adorable.
post #124 of 201
This wasn't said to me, but I was at work today and passed a woman and two kids shopping (probably grandma and grandkids). One of the little girls, around 3 or 4, said something about a paddle, I couldn't really hear. The grandma said really loudly, "Why would you get paddled? Were you BAD??"

It just kills me that these tiny little children are getting hit with paddles and that they're being trained to believe they deserve it. It's also pretty shocking that Grandma thinks it's acceptable enough to speak in public about HITTING LITTLE CHILDREN WITH WEAPONS. I know that where I'm from (South) it's common, and I knew that spanking is considered acceptable in the Midwest, but I didn't realize that paddles and other objects were a common practice.
post #125 of 201
Not exactly parenting advice, but still making me scratch my head:

Today I was talking to my best friend on the phone and told him my daughter might be nearing the time when she will want to start weaning herself. She's already cut down on breastfeeding a lot.

He said "BE CAREFUL! Once you stop breastfeeding you can get pregnant really easily again!"

I was like "why, does quitting breastfeeding suddenly make all forms of birth control obsolete? Do my husband's sperm develop superpowers and start breaking through condoms?" I mean, I've already been ovulating for the last year.

post #126 of 201
My mom always tells of the stories when me and my sis were little and she got the ped to scare us into stopping something.

Me - I was a biter. I would sit under the table at daycare with my friend and we would take turns biting each other. So my mom took me to the ped and had the dr threaten me with a HUGE needle that if I didn't stop biting, I'd have to get a big shot.

Sis - she use to draw on herself with ball-point pen constantly. So again, off to the ped who told her if she "didn't stop drawing on herself, she was GOING TO DIE!"

Mom LOVED the ped because he did things like this upon her request.
post #127 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by MummaLitt View Post
My mom always tells of the stories when me and my sis were little and she got the ped to scare us into stopping something.

Me - I was a biter. I would sit under the table at daycare with my friend and we would take turns biting each other. So my mom took me to the ped and had the dr threaten me with a HUGE needle that if I didn't stop biting, I'd have to get a big shot.

Sis - she use to draw on herself with ball-point pen constantly. So again, off to the ped who told her if she "didn't stop drawing on herself, she was GOING TO DIE!"

Mom LOVED the ped because he did things like this upon her request.
Reminds me of a teacher I had who made all of us be careful when sharpening our pencils because she told us we would get lead poisoning from the pencil lead shavings. The only difference is she REALLY DID believe it.

Unfortunately, I was blessed with a lot of less-than-intelligent teachers growing up.
post #128 of 201
MIL was told by her dr that she was making water instead of breastmilk. She wanted me to get my milk tested.

When SIL was a baby, MIL rushed her to the hospital because her MIL was visiting and fed her a large bottle of formula. She to this day insists her MIL almost killed the baby by overfeeding her. She was kicked out of the house and they never made up.

A kid at Walmart saw my carrier and said, "Mom, we NEED one of those!" And the mom (with baby bucket perched on cart) looked right at me and said, "No we don't. That's just silly." It's funny, I hear so many comments from kids about how cool my carrier is.
post #129 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleyhaugh View Post
or the ones that are confused because he can still eat eggs....

its surprising how many people (including my mom, and ds's daycare teacher) think eggs are dairy.... well maybe not, i swear i saw something on a wic brochure that said something alongs the lines of "wic provides dairy products such as milk, cheese and eggs"

it was hard to explain it to his new teacher on the first day while trying not to make her feel like an idiot...eggs arent dairy... dairy comes from cows.... eggs do not come from cows... eggs arent dairy
I always think that's so strange too. Is it because eggs are sold near the dairy case in the grocery store? I can't figure it out. Also, I cracked up a couple of weeks ago on Oprah when Nate (the decorator) was talking to some 4-H girls who were feeding a calf with a bottle and Nate said, "Oh, are you feeding him his own milk?" People apparently just really don't understand cows and/or the way mammals work!

As for dumb comments, when we had our first baby my neighbor used to coo over him and say things like, "Aww, he's still young and sweet. Just wait til he grows up to be a brat like mine" right in front of her kids, who were 2 and 3 at the time. And then after I had my second she'd say things like, "Enjoy it while the baby's little before they're both brats" and then would turn to her poor kids and go, "Right? You guys are brats, huh? Yeah, you're real fun, huh?" It was so sad. Now that my kids are 5 and 1.5, that neighbor doesn't talk to me much anymore. I'm sure she's disappointed to see that I'm not joining her in her misery.
post #130 of 201
We were at a play place yesterday and a mom with three kids was there with a friend. Her kids were all climbing, the youngest looked a little under 2. She was having a really hard time climbing (so was my HUGE almost 3yo, and the sign said 3+) and was crying a lot unless her siblings helped her climb. She came to the side crying to mom for help getting down and mom told her, "You're FINE! You're not upset! You're not crying!" Really? She looks pretty upset to me!
post #131 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by MummaLitt View Post
My mom always tells of the stories when me and my sis were little and she got the ped to scare us into stopping something.

Me - I was a biter. I would sit under the table at daycare with my friend and we would take turns biting each other. So my mom took me to the ped and had the dr threaten me with a HUGE needle that if I didn't stop biting, I'd have to get a big shot.

Sis - she use to draw on herself with ball-point pen constantly. So again, off to the ped who told her if she "didn't stop drawing on herself, she was GOING TO DIE!"

Mom LOVED the ped because he did things like this upon her request.
I'm so sorry. I am always so sad to hear parents threaten their kids with shots. Then my mom wonders why the heck I am a needle phobe.
post #132 of 201
My Mother-In-Law, upon hearing that we did not plan to circumcise should we have a boy, told us of an 8 year old boy that she knew of who HAD to be circumcised because of frequent bladder infections.

"That's why I think boys should get their pencils sharpened while they're babies."

Ugh. We still plan on having our unsharpened little boy one day.
post #133 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleyhaugh View Post
or the ones that are confused because he can still eat eggs....

its surprising how many people (including my mom, and ds's daycare teacher) think eggs are dairy.... well maybe not, i swear i saw something on a wic brochure that said something alongs the lines of "wic provides dairy products such as milk, cheese and eggs"

it was hard to explain it to his new teacher on the first day while trying not to make her feel like an idiot...eggs arent dairy... dairy comes from cows.... eggs do not come from cows... eggs arent dairy
I think part of this problem has to do with people who don't eat dairy due to their own personal beliefs, like vegans. They tend not to eat eggs as well. Also, most eggs recipes have milk in them. If I knew a child was dairy sensitive (like mine) I would be surprised to see them eating eggs, too. But that's because I've honestly never seen anyone prepare an egg dish without milk or cheese.
post #134 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by emma1325 View Post
My Mother-In-Law, upon hearing that we did not plan to circumcise should we have a boy, told us of an 8 year old boy that she knew of who HAD to be circumcised because of frequent bladder infections.

"That's why I think boys should get their pencils sharpened while they're babies."

Ugh. We still plan on having our unsharpened little boy one day.
That is so sad. that your MIL would try to scare you like that.
post #135 of 201
just a couple comments.

While in the hospital DS was a day old and a relative said to me "You have to let other people hold him, he's getting to used to you."

At church while wearing my 8 week old in my Moby, "Can't he come out?" "no he sleeps better in here so I can stay for the service." "why don't you just leave him in the nursery to cry?"

" my kids slept through the night at 6 weeks...12 hours straight" continues on to tell me how I should train him too.

and MIL, "Your still breastfeeding?" he's 1 month old
post #136 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by dakotablue View Post
" my kids slept through the night at 6 weeks...12 hours straight" continues on to tell me how I should train him too.
My DD did this w/o any sleep training at all, and she was breastfed. She started at 3 weeks sleeping about 7 hours at a time.

My DS, however, did not.
post #137 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post
Reminds me of a teacher I had who made all of us be careful when sharpening our pencils because she told us we would get lead poisoning from the pencil lead shavings. The only difference is she REALLY DID believe it.

Unfortunately, I was blessed with a lot of less-than-intelligent teachers growing up.
Uhm, I totally believed that if you got stabbed with a pencil you'd get lead poisoning until a few years ago. I said something about it and DH looked at me like I'd grown a second head and then a lightbulb when on and I said, "But pencils are graphite or something aren't they?"
post #138 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
Uhm, I totally believed that if you got stabbed with a pencil you'd get lead poisoning until a few years ago. I said something about it and DH looked at me like I'd grown a second head and then a lightbulb when on and I said, "But pencils are graphite or something aren't they?"
I somehow managed to get a couple of pencil lead bits stuck in my thighs in middle school... pencils that were too sharp that I had either shoved in my pocket (duh) or fell from my desk and just landed odd. 21 years later and I'm not dead yet.
post #139 of 201
Quote:
Originally Posted by dachshund mom View Post
MIL was told by her dr that she was making water instead of breastmilk. She wanted me to get my milk tested.
My MIL told me that she had to stop breastfeeding because the Dr. told her her milk was more like water because my dh was crying all the time. I suspect she had a foremilk/hindmilk thing going on, and tried to say maybe that was what was going on (getting only foremilk and not being satisfied so crying more), but I think she still believes that she really was just making water instead of breastmilk.

We've been having breastfeeding issues due to my initial low milk production and I've heard a lot of crazy stories and ideas about supplementing, etc. My mom told me today that she had to start feeding me rice cereal because the Dr. said I needed something to fill my belly so I would sleep at night. I just said that I wasn't worried about my dd sleeping through the night even at 6 months because I would happily breastfeed her as much as she needed. I didn't want to make my mom feel bad, but I just don't think that's something we'll be doing. On the other hand, I do feel incredibly lucky that, despite these crazy stories and ideas that people have about how to feed babies, everyone's been really supportive of my working towards my dd being only breastfed. (We talked to the Ped. today and she gave the ok to stop supplementing, so I'm quite psyched about that.)
post #140 of 201
My favourite is when people try to give ME advice/unsolicited comments by talking to my baby.

I had DD at the grocery store, sitting up in the cart when she was around a year old. She was wearing jeans with ruffled cuffs, pink butterfly Robeez, and a pink hoodie. This lady came over and started to coo at her and asked me, "What's his name?" I replied, "Oh, she's a girl. Her name's Maggie." And the lady grabbed DD's foot and said, "You need to tell your mother to start dressing you in girlier clothes!" I think I looked at her funny then moved along.

I took her for portraits once at a grocery store photo studio where they sort of rush you in and out since they book a lot of appointments. She was right around 6 months old. It was late winter/early spring, so still a bit on the cool side. I dressed her in appropriate clothes (pants, sweater, hat, etc.), but it was before Easter so I had put her in an Easter dress for the photo and bare feet (changed her when we got there).

I didn't have time to change her back into her wintery gear before we got out of the studio, so we were near the front desk, choosing the photos, and DD was in the stroller. This couple came over and kept touching her feet, saying how cold she must be, and going on and on and on about how inappropriately she was dressed and how she needed to ask her mother for warmer clothes. I was really embarassed and it was just so...weird...and awkward! I'm just trying to get my darn photos and get out of here, ya know? I kind of ignored them for awhile but when they kept at it, i held up the bag of her winter gear and said, "See this!? This is all her winter clothes. She's dressed that way for her pictures. Now please leave us alone." They looked kind of shocked. That was probably the only time I've felt really judged as a mother.
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