Thoughts, experiences appreciated!
My 1st grader, I'm finding, has few, if any friends his own age. I'm not hugely concerned by it, because he's very happy, but dh is really concerned and wants me to "do more" to help him make similar aged friends.
He's always been "different", just not like other kids his age. He went to school for 3 yrs of preschool and 2 months of K, and has gone to summer camp every year since age 4. Typically in each class, he'd find 1-2 good friends- always the other "different", smaller, slower, more gentle kids. He is really small for his age and developmentally has always been on the slower side. But because those kids have moved on to public school and we don't see them any more, or they live really far away and he doesn't see them in school, most of the friendships have faded away, except one little girl who lives close by.
Since being homeschooled he hasn't made any new good friends. the neighborhood kids who are his age are either really aggressive with their play, or super duper advanced (as in, accomplished opera singers, musicians, or speak several languages by the age of 5) and they are just not on the same plane. They are fine to play with, but aren't good friends.
I always have him signed up for a homeschoolers' class so he gets out weekly with a group of similar-aged homeschoolers, And, as I said, he goes to summer camp every summer, and Sunday School most weeks. and again, he gets along with them very well during the classes but no long term friendships have resulted. (and honestly...most of the parents are not people I'd want to hang out with at all. of course if he expressed interest in hanging out with the kids, I'd pursue it, but he hasn't, and the parents don't interest me).
He does really well with the younger neighborhood kids, like 4 yr olds, has fun at the playground with whoever he meets, and relates really well to adults. He has a 4 yr old brother, who he doesn't like and doesn't get along with, but at least it's daily practice in interpersonal relationships! But eventually those 4 yr olds and kids at the park will go off to kindergarten, and he'll be 8, 9, 10 yrs old and they won't be an option any more!
Dh and I are really not social people. We are similar in that we might make one good friend from each realm of life but mostly we are each other's friend and can't stand parties and group activities. We are happy hanging out with just the family or once in a while a good friend 1:1. Ds isn't asking for more social interaction and seems happy with what he gets. I just feel bad that he doesn't have any "best friends" and if we were to have a birthday party, the only invitees would be 4 yr olds and adults! I just think about kids throughout history...esp. in rural areas, it seems normal to me that they would have just siblings and whoever was around, even if none of them were the same age or they didn't have a big group of friends.
So, do you think I should be concerned or leave well enough alone? I wouldn't know how to "make" him make friends, anyway!
My 1st grader, I'm finding, has few, if any friends his own age. I'm not hugely concerned by it, because he's very happy, but dh is really concerned and wants me to "do more" to help him make similar aged friends.
He's always been "different", just not like other kids his age. He went to school for 3 yrs of preschool and 2 months of K, and has gone to summer camp every year since age 4. Typically in each class, he'd find 1-2 good friends- always the other "different", smaller, slower, more gentle kids. He is really small for his age and developmentally has always been on the slower side. But because those kids have moved on to public school and we don't see them any more, or they live really far away and he doesn't see them in school, most of the friendships have faded away, except one little girl who lives close by.
Since being homeschooled he hasn't made any new good friends. the neighborhood kids who are his age are either really aggressive with their play, or super duper advanced (as in, accomplished opera singers, musicians, or speak several languages by the age of 5) and they are just not on the same plane. They are fine to play with, but aren't good friends.
I always have him signed up for a homeschoolers' class so he gets out weekly with a group of similar-aged homeschoolers, And, as I said, he goes to summer camp every summer, and Sunday School most weeks. and again, he gets along with them very well during the classes but no long term friendships have resulted. (and honestly...most of the parents are not people I'd want to hang out with at all. of course if he expressed interest in hanging out with the kids, I'd pursue it, but he hasn't, and the parents don't interest me).
He does really well with the younger neighborhood kids, like 4 yr olds, has fun at the playground with whoever he meets, and relates really well to adults. He has a 4 yr old brother, who he doesn't like and doesn't get along with, but at least it's daily practice in interpersonal relationships! But eventually those 4 yr olds and kids at the park will go off to kindergarten, and he'll be 8, 9, 10 yrs old and they won't be an option any more!
Dh and I are really not social people. We are similar in that we might make one good friend from each realm of life but mostly we are each other's friend and can't stand parties and group activities. We are happy hanging out with just the family or once in a while a good friend 1:1. Ds isn't asking for more social interaction and seems happy with what he gets. I just feel bad that he doesn't have any "best friends" and if we were to have a birthday party, the only invitees would be 4 yr olds and adults! I just think about kids throughout history...esp. in rural areas, it seems normal to me that they would have just siblings and whoever was around, even if none of them were the same age or they didn't have a big group of friends.
So, do you think I should be concerned or leave well enough alone? I wouldn't know how to "make" him make friends, anyway!
