Toddler naps = night time torture. DH is not pleased...

[InMediasRes]

My DH goes ballistic when my son takes a nap. If he naps, usually in the late afternoon because I have walked away for a minute and he's so tired that he falls asleep on the couch, he will be up until 10 or 10:30. You guessed it, this means no time for us (not that we have any anyway because DD won't go down alone.)

Anywho, I try everything to keep him from taking a nap, but he still does occasionally, and DH always whines and complains all night long about him being up so late. I secretly love it because it means I get a break during the day and a much MUCH happier kid for the evening, and time to do things in the evening before he's ready for bed (normally at 7). This doesn't happen often, just 1-2x every other week or so.

He is being evaluated for sensory issues. We know he has a very difficult time going to sleep, and always has. His bedtime takes 45min-1:30 on a regular basis, even when he is exhausted. His ped recommended some melatonin for him, but would this help him get to sleep earlier on days that he naps? I wouldn't want to screw up his schedule by artificially inducing sleep, but he really does NEED that nap sometimes, and I wish I could have both worlds. Does anyone do this for kiddos that still need naps but have trouble settling at night?

Any other ideas (besides the obvious, DH just getting over it... )

[JenLiz]

same here

other than the Dh part (-;...my almost 3 year old takes naps a few times a week now and that means she's up till 9:30 or so. On no nap days she's asleep at 7:30 and it takes about 2 minutes of quasi-nursing to fall asleep (it used to take her an hour when she was napping and I'd try for a bedtime of 8:00.) Honestly, the BEST book I've read on sleep patterns and solving sleep issues and what to look out for as "problems". etc. has been dr. Ferber's newer book. I don't follow the CIO method at all (we co-sleep and nurse to sleep), but he really only talks about that in one chapter. He states that kids around this age need just under 12 hours of sleep per day and typically haven't dropped their nap yet...so, it's broken up however you dice it...2 hour nap = 10 hours sleep at night. Anymore than that and you''ll find some early rising issues or late to be issues. He has tips on how to change the sleep schedule and when to "be OK" with what you have. IMO he's got some very good advice and I'm as attachment parenting as you get! LOL.

Anyway, the short of it is your situation seems perfectly normal and your DH should relax and enjoy the extra time he has with your kiddo! It's nice to have an evening with the kid asleep...and it's also nice sometimes to have an evening as a family. HTH!

[mlh]

I actually just stopped dd's naps so night time would be easier. For us it has been great because she has an older sister and instead of nap time she plays with her sister. With my youngest, however, I loved it when she would nap so would really push for it...it got to the point where we wouldn't even put her to bed until 9:30 or 10, but I still got my day time break.

This time around I would much rather have the kids go to bed at 7:00 and not have a nap during the day. That being said, my 2 yr old dd still needs a 30 min to an hour nap from time to time which she usually catches on a car ride.

I would say, if you like your break during the day, then just go with it and expect you will have a late night. We use Hylands Calm Forte with the kids when they are having trouble falling asleep and it works great. I occassionally use melatonin, but I think if your child just doen't need the sleep, I would try a little calm forte to help relax, but don't push an early bed time if it is not necessary.

[Meems]

So your son is 2.5? That's pretty young to drop the nap from what I've read. Why not try to get him to nap earlier in the day (right after lunch seems to be a good time for this age) and then he can still go to bed by 8:30 or 9?

[InMediasRes]

Originally Posted by Meems

So your son is 2.5? That's pretty young to drop the nap from what I've read. Why not try to get him to nap earlier in the day (right after lunch seems to be a good time for this age) and then he can still go to bed by 8:30 or 9?

Believe me, if it was that easy, he would nap every day at noon.

Most days, he makes it though the day just fine without a nap. You will find lots of moms here whose kids drop naps at 2yo. The issue is a random day where he is more tired than usual, and it is never before 3 or so. Since he normally doesn't nap, I have no way of knowing that when I turn my back, he's going to pass out on the couch.

And once he's out, he's out, A cat nap for him is a 20min sleep followed by bloody murder screaming for an hour. I have to let him sleep until he is rested.

We just tried the melatonin last night and, I have to say, I am totally sold. What should have been an hour and a half fight for a 10:30 bedtime was a peaceful snuggle for 30min and he was out cold at 9. I think we'll keep it around for the random days when he naps.

[caitsaunt]

I am going through this with my almost 4 year old. If he naps, he is up for 1 to 2 hours past normal bedtime... and wants to interact the whole time. If he doesn't nap, he's completely delirious by dinner time, but passes out cold by 7:30 and sleeps like a log.

I am leaning toward preferring the no nap days (even though I like the mid day break) but my sitter still has him nap, so this transition is far from smooth.

[donutmolly]

We stopped naps for this very reason at age 2.5 with DD1 -- even a 10 minute nap in the car would keep her up until 10pm. I actually worked to keep her awake, and then tried to be very consistent with an early bedtime (6:30-7pm in bed!). She is much more flexible now at age 4 and can stay up later occasionally, but for a year we had to be consistent with an early bedtime or she'd get that nap and we'd be back to square 1.

[Carma]

Both our kids still nap during the week (mandatory quiet time at daycare) at 2 and 4 year old. So we also have a bedtime of 9-10 pm.

However in the weekend we have more control and then I will let them only nap before 3 pm and up to an hour (at daycare they nap up to 3 hours). This seems to help a bit (~one hour earlier in bed) for the weekend. Maybe when you notice or expect your son is/to be tired it might work to get him to nap earlier in the day on those days?

Carma