So when can I have post partum sex REALLY? - Page 2

[NCmama]

I'm so impressed with all of you! And a bit jealous

Between so many other kids and nursing a newborn, I just had absolutely NO interest for months I wanted to have interest, but after nursing a baby round the clock, I really didn't want anyone else near me!

[crunchy_mama]

With #1 it was a few months I believe before I felt ready, physically and mentally. I just had a small tear, but I was nervous- and exhausted! With #2- no tears at all and I was honestly ready at 1 week, but I cannot remember when we got around to it and life of course was chaotic. However, I do remember when we did have sex the first time it was great and wonderful and no probalem at all.

[mwherbs]

I go with MOM's comfort level - I have had friends and some clients who have had sex within hours or days of giving birth it was their desire for that type of contact on the other hand I had other friends and clients who could just as well been happy to not have had any sex for 6 months or more...

if you have any stitches - that would be a concern that you don't do something that would break them down before the tissues have had a chance to heal together

[Litcrit]

Huge mediolateral episiotomy, 8 weeks of bleeding (!) - it took three months to even begin to consider it... and it hurt the first few times.

[Harmony96]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

sophie, at first I read that as 'you had rough sex' LOLOLOLOL

I thought the same thing.

[Tizzy]

Okay I have issues with the whole "use a condom" thing.
Personally I figure my body is used to DH's ph and cooties, a condom does not strike me as being "sterile" and honestly, I think there's probably more change of infection from introducing something foreign like a condom...but that's just what I think

[artemis80]

Oooookaayyy......3rd degree tear here, plus all the bfing/hormones/adjusting to being a new mom. Try A YEAR. Poor DH.

That said, if there's a second time around, I would look into solutions a lot sooner.

[Comtessa]

My OB said to wait 4 weeks. My MW said to wait 2 weeks to be sure that my cervix was closed. I think we split the difference and waited 3 weeks. DH was much more concerned about it than I was; I think he was nervous about hurting me. He probably would have waited longer if it was up to him, but I was a bit... um... insistent. I was ready about 5 days PP... but I think that was just all my hormones going out of control!

[bobandjess99]

We had to wait 10 months the first birth, and 3.5 the second. I was too damaged porior to then. It took about 18-22 months to actually WANT to do it though, which orughly corresponded with weaning or semi-weaning both times.

[CEG]

Originally Posted by Tizzy

Okay I have issues with the whole "use a condom" thing.
Personally I figure my body is used to DH's ph and cooties, a condom does not strike me as being "sterile" and honestly, I think there's probably more change of infection from introducing something foreign like a condom...but that's just what I think

I recommend it for birth control, not cootie control. Even a BF mom can get pregnant, but most of my moms are FF.

[Comtessa]

And I think - though somebody please correct me if I'm wrong - that there's some chance that the first few weeks after a birth are a particularly high-fertility time because pregnancy hormones drop and breastfeeding hormones haven't totally kicked in yet. I know I have a cousin whose twins were followed ten months later by a surprise sibling, and I suspect that was why!

[ShadowMoon]

As soon as you feel comfortable. That was a few months in my case.

[accountclosed3]

i would say i was up for it by the end of the first week, but it never really felt comfortable until about a month ago. i enjoyed it, but it was MORE enjoyable after i got my period back (fertility cycle really).

[nia82]

Wow you guys were ready wayyyy before me. I had two 2nd degree tears which healed fine, but I bled for over 8 weeks. I had not interest whatsoever until 4 months pp.
We tried at 12 weeks and it was pain hell. It Was ok at 4 months pp, but not nice. I'd say about 6 months pp the pain was gone. Real interest from my side didn't kick in until 9-10 months pp, when DS started to eat some crackers and some yogurt and my milk supply went down a little.

[felix23]

I had c-sections, but I was ready in about two weeks with dd1 and a little over a month with dd2.

[sehbub]

Originally Posted by Comtessa

And I think - though somebody please correct me if I'm wrong - that there's some chance that the first few weeks after a birth are a particularly high-fertility time because pregnancy hormones drop and breastfeeding hormones haven't totally kicked in yet. I know I have a cousin whose twins were followed ten months later by a surprise sibling, and I suspect that was why!

Yep.

We waited two weeks after DD3 was born. She was in the NICU, I was staying near the hospital with her, was an hour from DH for tose two weeks (and the two weeks following until she came home) and desperately needed "normal."

And 39wks later, her brother was born.

So from February 14 to April 20 every year, my youngest two are the same age. It makes for some interesting conversations.

I don't recommend having them that close together, BTW.

[mistymama]

I had a c-section and was ready about 2 weeks pp - did wait until the bleeding stopped though, so around 3 weeks pp.

And YES about the high fertility time! My Mom was EBF my younger sister and got pregnant with TWINS!! She was shocked and thought she couldn't get pg while breastfeeding. There are 2 weeks out of the year where all 3 of my sisters are the same age.

[brightonwoman]

I had little/no interest for about a year (definitely no libido for a year)...but we just waited the 6 weeks the OB had said. I had just a couple of stitches but one of them had not come out even at that point (it was loose but not out) and it was horribly painful. If I ever have stitches again i will insist that there be nothing in there until the stitches are GONE!!
With that said, I have been told that 6weeks is a good guideline even if you didn't tear and your lochia is done because it takes that long for your cervix to completely close again and in the meantime your risk of infection is still increased
Personally, I'll go for bleeding done, no stitches, and not feeling sore down there...I imagine it'll be at least 3wks. I will stick with 6wks as an official guideline, but if I'm feeling ok I may initiate something sooner (in spite of my uber-non-libido), because that would totally rock DH's world

[simonboy'smommy]

I am hoping that I'll feel up to it a little sooner this time. Last time we waited the full 6 weeks 'cause that's just what we were supposed to do. I really felt a lot better all around by 6 weeks.

This time I've been reading up about it because I'd like to get back to "normal" a little sooner. And I think it would make it easier to live with dh if things happened sooner! However, I don't plan to fill him in on my research until I feel ready I'm really hoping I don't have any tears this time. I had an episiotomy the first time and I'm NOT getting one this time unless there is an emergency.

I'm glad I read about the heightened fertility possibility... guess I'll be buying condoms soon. I just went through 3-4 yrs of secondary infertility and swore I wouldn't prevent this time. Well, I've changed my mind. Pregnancy was hard this time! I'm so not ready to do it again and I haven't birthed yet!!

[zenmama108]

I had a 3rd degree tear with DD, and no sex drive whatsoever for a very long time. I was on the outs with DDs father, and ended up not having sex for 2 and a half years (untill I was in a new relationship). I HIGHLY doubt I will be waiting that long this time around

Speaking strictly healing-wise, with the tear and the stitches, I think it was 8 to 10 weeks before everything was healed enough to consider sex, but everyone heals at a different rate.