So when can I have post partum sex REALLY? - Page 3

[Sarah W]

It was about 10 weeks for me. There were times that I really wanted to in the first couple of weeks pp, but I had stitches and it was more about wanting sex than wanting to have sex. Does that make sense?

[tjlucca]

I don't know how long we waited. I didn't feel like it at all, even after six weeks. My mojo was completely out of wack, The dryness from Bfing and the new mommy thing.It took me some time to feel like it was okay to be mommy AND be a sexual woman. I didn't want anything to do with it for awhile. That went over like a ton of bricks.

[cappuccinosmom]

Healing wise, 2 weeks was enough for me. We waited until the bleeding had mostly petered out.

Dh says it's "good medicine". I just like having that closeness back as soon as possible.

[Harmony96]

With DD, we waited 6 weeks. I was under the care of an OB resident and that's what she said to do. I had a 2nd degree tear which healed fine, and my bleeding stopped after only 11 days.

Now w/ DS, I had no tearing (except for a very minor internal one that was not stitched), but he's a month old today and I'm still spotting in spurts. I thought I'd stopped after 9 days this time, but it started back up again, then stopped, then started, then stopped, lol. All just spotty spotting. Anyway my MW said that after my bleeding's been stopped for 3 days, I can "be with" DH again.

[SilverFish]

i felt like having sex about 2 days after my baby came out but i know that was just happy hormones. i'm 15 days PP now, and now i REALLY want to have sex, but ugh, i'm still in a lot of pain down there so i don't think it's going to happen any time soon. my 2nd degree tear is taking its sweet time to heal, and everything still feels way too tender and mashed up. but if the happy hormones continue (and my baby keeps sleeping this much!) i can definitely see us getting it on within the next couple of weeks. part of it was how uninterested i was in having sex for the last few months of my pregnancy. i think it was actually around 5 months that we pretty much stopped doing anything.

[Storm Bride]

I've had all c-sections. With four of them, it was several months before I was ready again. But, I think it's about the breastfeeding. When my son was stillborn, I was ready in about two weeks, despite being achey all over (I had a really rough recovery from that one). I just really, really, really wanted to.

Breastfeeding seems to kill my libido, which seems to be pretty common. It also makes sex a lot less comfortable.

[Honey693]

My doctor said if we did it before 6 weeks use condoms so I assume she didn't care when I had sex. I don't think we actually did until around 8 weeks or so. My bleeding didn't stop until 6 or 7 weeks or we might have earlier.

[lyterae]

My dd was a c-section and it was still months before I could comfortably have sex, add in some PPD and we were very much lacking in intimacy that first year.

[MJB]

With my first, I had an episiotomy so I waited until the stitches were out-- 4 weeks. With my second, I just waited until the bleeding stopped-- 2 weeks. I expect it'll be about 2 weeks again this time.

[GreenMamma]

Umm..we dont' have sex again until at least 14 weeks pp. I can't. It hurts way too much, even though with my middle and youngest son I didn't have any tearing and the births went fantastic. My first son came so fast and I did tear and we think that's what caused the issue I have.

But then again it still hurts more than a year later. But that's partly due to BFing.

[2sweetboysmom]

Previous OBs have told me, "we would like you to wait till after your PP appt" (always at 4 weeks for me)

I am including my miscarriages here as my experience with a more physically traumatic birth.
After my first late miscarriage/D&C for hemorrhage, there was no instruction given, and my midwife had dropped me like a hot potato when I miscarried, so I just followed how I felt...In retrospect I probably should have waited at least 10 days or so. I wound up with pelvic inflammatory problems, may have been the D&C, or may have been the way early sex, no real way of knowing. After my second late miscarriage/d&C for hemorrhage we waited 1 week and then used a non-spermicidal condom till about 4 weeks, and I had no problems.

[redvlagrl]

My mw said that we could whenever we felt like it. I suppose she felt like if you're feeling good to go, then you're probably fine down below!

[Catherine12]

I had a minor tear with my first and third births. The first time, we did it at 2 weeks pp, but it was uncomfortable so we didn't do it again until 3 weeks pp - at that point it was fine. After our third, we waited two weeks and it was fine.

With my second birth, I didn't tear, so I felt ready much sooner - we asked our mw when we could have sex again and she said it was fine to do it whenever we felt comfortable. So we did it that night - 2 days pp. And it actually felt totally normal.

I would have hated waiting six weeks. Right after giving birth is a time when I feel joyous, and loving, and extra-close to my dh - sex is a good way of expressing that.

I'll also add that using lubricant can really help, especially if you are bfing, which makes some women dryer than usual.