With DD, we waited 6 weeks. I was under the care of an OB resident and that's what she said to do. I had a 2nd degree tear which healed fine, and my bleeding stopped after only 11 days.
Now w/ DS, I had no tearing (except for a very minor internal one that was not stitched), but he's a month old today and I'm still spotting in spurts. I thought I'd stopped after 9 days this time, but it started back up again, then stopped, then started, then stopped, lol. All just spotty spotting. Anyway my MW said that after my bleeding's been stopped for 3 days, I can "be with" DH again.