If your kid lost a coat on a field trip, would you blame the teacher? - Page 2

[m.m.m.]

My oldest (same age) has lost sweatshirts enough so that he doesn't get to pick them out and wear the ones he loves to school. He gets the cheap Hanes ones until he can get them to & from school w/ no issue. Gotten much better, but no way is he wearing nice ones until he's able to handle it on his own, because no, at that age, it is NOT the teacher's responsibility!

[Linda on the move]

I actually cut back on how much I spend on outerwear for my 11 year old now that she attends school rather than homeschooling, because while she is a little smarty, she just looses stuff.

It never occurred to me to blame the teacher, just to buy cheap things.

I can see this being a bigger issue for a family that is tighter on cash.

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by Treasuremapper

I have to admit, yes, I would expect the teacher to be responsible, depending on the kids' ages.

I agree. If I took my child to a museum, I would be sure we had our belongs before leaving. If the school (government) wants to basically act as parents for 7 hours a day, then with that comes responsibilty for the child's belongings. If it's too much for one teacher to handle, then there should be more adults present to help.

[Happygal]

I lost things all the time. I dreaded telling my mom about it, and even worse would be if she made me look through the lost and found bin. I don't think it ever crossed her mind to blame the teacher--it was clear that it was my fault!

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by babymommy2

How did they get your home phone #, that is over the top. Also I think they can also take some resposibility to go to the musuem and look themselves.

You don't live in a small town do you? Most of my kids' teachers live in town, I could easily find most of their home phone numbers in the phone book. Also, at least 3 of 14 teachers have children in the school and have their phone numbers listed right in the student directory.

I bet what happened is the little boy had on a sweatshirt which he just left on at the museum. No one noticed it as a "coat" and no one asked him to take it off. Then as he's walking around, he gets hot, takes it off and sets it down somewhere. If he were my child, I would call the museum and see if someone had turned it in.

[Pepper44]

My grandma had little tags made for her kids that had the kid's full name and phone number written on it, and she sewed them in every article of clothing including underwear!

I don't think it is the teacher's fault at all if the child loses a coat or sweatshirt, considering the museum had a box for coats and belongings, the teacher asked the students if they had what they came with before they left, and she also checked the museum's box to see if there was anything left. I mean what more could you possibly do??

If you have a large class and some kids are wearing coats and some aren't, there's no way to remember who had what on unless you waste time making a list or something.

Is it possible that the child left the coat on a bus? Otherwise someone in the museum will probably find it and turn it in to lost and found...

[bobandjess99]

it sounds like you did a reasonable amount of helping. you asked them if they all had their coats. you checked the box.
now, had you not done ANYthing, I probably wouldn't feel this way. but you did. The kid said he hadn't brought a coat. Were you supposed to get out the rubber hose and beat him until he "remembered" he had a coat? You asked, he answered, you took him at his word. You weren't asking him to perfom advanced calculus, you asked him if he had his coat.

[chfriend]

I'd expect you to do what you did. Stow the stuff in the docent's box; have the kids get their stuff at the end; ask everyone if they have their stuff; check the docent's box for strays.

You fulfilled your responsibility. The kid in question said s/he didn't have a coat. The box was empty. Everyone back on the bus.

The parents should call the museum to see if it turned up somewhere. The bus should be checked (might have left it on the bus on the way into the museum). The classroom should be checked.

Lose the kid: your responsibility.
Lose the coat: keep looking and don't worry about blame.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

If I took my child to a museum, I would be sure we had our belongs before leaving.

We homeschooled for years and my kids started school at ages 10 and 12. I had always taken responsbilty for all their things (cuz I'm their mommy). Because they had never been given age-level appropriate responsibility in this area, one of them lagged behind her peers. (one did fine.)

What the teacher did was very age level appropriate, and even though we might all do more for our 7-8 years old when we are out with them, it doesn't mean that they really need to have it done for them.

If the school (government) wants to basically act as parents for 7 hours a day, then with that comes responsibilty for the child's belongings. If it's too much for one teacher to handle, then there should be more adults present to help.

The school is not acting as a parent. It's a whole different thing. And learning to take age level appropriate responsbility for one's self without mommy is one of the GREAT things about school. My kids both read better than their peers, but they are playing catching up on their "getting by without mommy" skills.

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

We homeschooled for years and my kids started school at ages 10 and 12. I had always taken responsbilty for all their things (cuz I'm their mommy). Because they had never been given age-level appropriate responsibility in this area, one of them lagged behind her peers. (one did fine.)

What the teacher did was very age level appropriate, and even though we might all do more for our 7-8 years old when we are out with them, it doesn't mean that they really need to have it done for them.



The school is not acting as a parent. It's a whole different thing. And learning to take age level appropriate responsbility for one's self without mommy is one of the GREAT things about school. My kids both read better than their peers, but they are playing catching up on their "getting by without mommy" skills.

Sorry. I dont' agree that its necessarily age appropriate for a 7 -8 year old to be responsible for his coat. It's one thing if he put it in the same closet daily. But in a new surrounding, while being distracted by all the interesteing things to look at? Not so much. I'm pretty certain that the kids have no say about how the day goes. So, why should they be responsible for the paraphanelia they are required to bring?

[annethcz]

I'll come down on the 'it's the kid's fault' side of the fence. What else would you expect the teacher to do? She stowed the coats in a specified area, asked all of the kids to ensure that they had the coats they came with.

And I do expect my 7 and 8yos to be responsible for their own belongings. I even expect my 5yo to be responsible for her belongings.

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Sorry. I dont' agree that its necessarily age appropriate for a 7 -8 year old to be responsible for his coat.

It seems like a very basic skill to me. With the group, put your coat in the place provided. With the group, retrieve your coat from the place provided.

My 8.5 yo (homeschooled until 7.5) is responsible for her coat, umbrella, homework, library books, etc. The responsiblity has been good for her, and improved our relationship (more responsibility for her = less nagging and fewer power struggles for me!).

[darien]

An update--

I called the museum today on my lunch break, and they had the coat at the lost and found. I emailed the parents the info and the museum's address, and apologized for their inconvenience.

If I hadn't posted the question, I probably would have gone to get the jacket myself. I'm kind of a pushover that way.

Honestly, though, I'd call it the kid's fault. He was asked more than once to get his coat into the bin, and more than once to get it back out. He had plenty of opportunity to get it, and saw all the other kids with coats getting theirs.

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Sorry. I dont' agree that its necessarily age appropriate for a 7 -8 year old to be responsible for his coat.
So, why should they be responsible for the paraphanelia they are required to bring?

Because the teacher ASKED him and he said he hadn't brought a coat.
Is it developmentally appropriate to be able to keep track of your own coat at that age? I'm not sure. Like all skills, I'm sure it's on a spectrum, and probably some kids can, and some can't, at that age.
The teacher wasn't making them be responsible for their own coats. She told them where to put them, told them when to retrieve them, checked the box (the approved place to put them), and ASKED THE KID if he had his coat.
It' not like she just expected him to keep track of it entirely on his own. If he failed to listen to her and didn't put it in the box, and wore it..then presumably got hot and took it off, then set it somewhere and forgot about it.....it's a bummer. But it's not the teachers fault. Sure, i can see it happening easily. Heck, it happens to ME all the time..i'm the queen of losing things, lol.

I guess i just don't see what she could have done differently, short of writing down at the beginning of the day exactly what each child wore/brought with them on the field trip, which I don't happen to think is reasonable. I just don't. I guess that's my opinion.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Sorry. I dont' agree that its necessarily age appropriate for a 7 -8 year old to be responsible for his coat. It's one thing if he put it in the same closet daily. But in a new surrounding, while being distracted by all the interesteing things to look at?

The child was standing in front of a big bin and was told to put his coat in it. Later, he was brought back to the big bin and told to take his coat out. The teacher checked to see that all coats were removed. It's not like the child had to figure out where the coat check was or remember to go back to it.

He just didn't do what he was told to do. May be next time he will.

[crl]

Originally Posted by darien

An update--

I called the museum today on my lunch break, and they had the coat at the lost and found. I emailed the parents the info and the museum's address, and apologized for their inconvenience.

If I hadn't posted the question, I probably would have gone to get the jacket myself. I'm kind of a pushover that way.

Honestly, though, I'd call it the kid's fault. He was asked more than once to get his coat into the bin, and more than once to get it back out. He had plenty of opportunity to get it, and saw all the other kids with coats getting theirs.

Glad it's been found. I think you went above and beyond to track it down for them.

Catherine

[Belia]

Originally Posted by crl

Glad it's been found. I think you went above and beyond to track it down for them.

Please come back and post if the parents respond in a noteworthy way.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

I agree. If I took my child to a museum, I would be sure we had our belongs before leaving. If the school (government) wants to basically act as parents for 7 hours a day, then with that comes responsibilty for the child's belongings. If it's too much for one teacher to handle, then there should be more adults present to help.

Wow, you're assuming this is a public school. It could just as easily be a private school, with no gov't involvement. And also, my kid's teacher's are their teachers, not their parents. Even at their public school .

OP: I wouldn't blame the teacher. My son used to loose stuff at school all the time. He was just spacey. If he lost something on a field trip, I would contact the place the class visited, and try to track it down. That's all you can do.

[kay4]

no I would not blame the teacher. Even with chaperones, remembering and keeping track of everything would be hard, especially if they child said they didn't bring a coat.

I'm glad the coat was found!

[Viola]

Originally Posted by darien

The parents called me at home while I was cooking dinner and questioned me about the situation. I explained, and said I would try to locate the coat tomorrow.

Wow, that's nervy. I'd be afraid to call my daughter's teachers at home even though the one says to call if we need to. I would just assume it was lost and I'd have to go find it in the Lost & Found. I wouldn't escalate it until after I tried to find it myself.