If your kid lost a coat on a field trip, would you blame the teacher? - Page 3

[momo7]

There is no way a teacher (or helper) should be responsible for a child's coat. Especially since it was on a field trip. Like you weren't busy enough right? You gotta be kidding.

What happened to PARENTS teaching their children to be responsible for their own belongings? It's not your fault a child couldn't hang on to theri coat. You made sure the children got back home safely. THAT was your job, not tracking down a coat.

The parents should take the child and find it themselves. I bet after they had to trek all over who knows where, their child would be alot more careful where he left his things.

[Viola]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

I agree. If I took my child to a museum, I would be sure we had our belongs before leaving. If the school (government) wants to basically act as parents for 7 hours a day, then with that comes responsibilty for the child's belongings. If it's too much for one teacher to handle, then there should be more adults present to help.

You're the parent, the teacher is not the parent and doesn't fulfill the role of a parent, IMO. So to expect a teacher to have the same regard for and financial responsiblity the belongings of a classroom of children as you would have for your own child's belongings is not practical. I think the teacher just needs to have checks in place, and to put forth a good faith effort, which she did in this case. Children lose things, even when their parents are present. If you send your child to school, learning how to keep track of their things and be responsible is part of the experience. If I were the child's parents, I would want to know that he said that he didn't bring a coat, and then talk to him about that.

Usually on field trips there are parent volunteers to help out, but they may not catch all this stuff either. If a mother wants more one on one attention for her child, she should accompany him or her on the field trip. If we as a society want teacher's to be parents to our children with the same level of responsibility, I think we're going to have to pay a lot more money towards education. And even then, we're still paying people to take care of our children, they aren't going to feel the same bond as parents.

[ollyoxenfree]

My kids have misplaced things AT SCHOOL and it never occurred to me to blame the teacher. I wouldn't blame the teacher if it happened on a field trip either. It sounds like all reasonable steps were taken to help the children keep track of their belongings.

I don't know what more a teacher could do than was done here - unless the children were required to wear a uniform, and the teacher could easily spot the missing item.

[blizzard_babe]

The OP asked the child if they had brought a coat, the child said no. Who among us can hang out with 20 of our closest friends and then remember exactly what each is wearing? I can barely remember what DS was wearing yesterday and we hung out, just the two of us, all day.

When I was in the classroom, fall was always a time when coats got forgotten. (A) Kids aren't used to the routine of coat-putting-on, (B) Not every student is necessarily wearing a coat every day, so it's not like the teacher can just think, "no one goes out the door without a jacket/coat," and (C) It's often cold enough for a coat in the morning, but then warm enough that the kids don't notice when they're cold in the afternoon.

[Emmeline II]

No. I'd be driving over to the museum and searching it top to bottom .

[noobmom]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Sorry. I dont' agree that its necessarily age appropriate for a 7 -8 year old to be responsible for his coat. It's one thing if he put it in the same closet daily. But in a new surrounding, while being distracted by all the interesteing things to look at? Not so much. I'm pretty certain that the kids have no say about how the day goes. So, why should they be responsible for the paraphanelia they are required to bring?

How in the world do you expect one adult to remember what 20-25 children are wearing that day? After I send my ONE kid to school I sometimes forgot what he put on that morning. Would you consider another parent acting as a chaperon on the trip to be responsible if your child was in her group?

A second grader is 7-8 years old--that's old enough to remember if you have a coat with you or not.

[purslaine]

Originally Posted by noobmom

.....

A second grader is 7-8 years old--that's old enough to remember if you have a coat with you or not.

Many 7 and 8 year olds are not old enough to be responsible for their own belongings. They forget things - it is part of being 7 and 8. There is a learning curve on this, and kids differ greatly on when they are capable of keeping track of their things.

None-the-less this is not the teachers fault. Life happens, people forget things. It could be a learning exercise for the student - "aw, you forgot your favourite coat? Hopefully we can find it, but in the meantime, you can wear this coat - it isn't your favourite, but it is what we have...."

I do think parents should send kids to school in inexpensive clothes - because stuff happens.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

I do think parents should send kids to school in inexpensive clothes - because stuff happens.

This, and also label it (inside) with your phone number - both because it helps people get it back to you (and so many people are helpful that way) and also because if your child *is* wearing the coat and gets lost, it's a good place to have the number.

[sunnmama]

I agree with sending inexpensive clothes....but inexpensive coats can be difficult to find, especially when replacing a coat during season (I buy my kids' coats in the spring on clearance, and would pay 4x as much for a replacement. I'd be upset about a lost coat, but not blame the teacher!).

[Linda on the move]

There's always Walmart or a used clothing store.

I find that light weight jackets are the hardest to keep track of. When it is cold enough for a big, heavy coat, kids tend to keep track of them because they REALLY need them. The notice if they walk outside without them.

It's those days in the spring and fall when they need a little something in the morning but not so much in the afternoon that are the kickers. Thankfully, light weight jackets are cheaper.

[weliveintheforest]

I could not see myself blaming the teacher, although at this time of year I'd expect all the kids to be wearing coats.
My parents never would have blamed my teacher if that happened when I was a kid.

[feminist~mama]

Absolutely not the teacher's fault! Not even a little bit! Good faith effort was made to ensure that children retrieved their coats- not your fault that this kiddo didn't follow directions/ couldn't remember that he came in with a coat!

My dd lost 3 jackets at school last week alone, and 2 lunchboxes. She's 10!

Granted, she did find 2 of the 3 with prompting to check the lost and found everyday, and she recovered both lunchboxes as well.

I told her that she'd be paying for a replacement jacket if a couple of the lost ones weren't found- she's saving money for an Ipod and has $$ in the bank. One of the jackets was lost on a field trip too- but it was absolutely my dd's fault, not her teacher's!

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by noobmom

How in the world do you expect one adult to remember what 20-25 children are wearing that day? After I send my ONE kid to school I sometimes forgot what he put on that morning. Would you consider another parent acting as a chaperon on the trip to be responsible if your child was in her group?

A second grader is 7-8 years old--that's old enough to remember if you have a coat with you or not.

Yes, I would.

[ashleyhaugh]

the only time i would blame a teacher would be in a daycare situation with a young child or a baby where the teacher is responsible for the stuff.

so not what your situation was

i agree with the others that said you went above and beyond

[EdnaMarie]

No way. I used to lose things all the time and I remember that it was believed to be my fault. It happens all the time.

Probably the parents are upset and not thinking clearly- perhaps it was a gift.

I'm glad they found it but I can't believe they called you at home!!!

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by noobmom

How in the world do you expect one adult to remember what 20-25 children are wearing that day? After I send my ONE kid to school I sometimes forgot what he put on that morning. Would you consider another parent acting as a chaperon on the trip to be responsible if your child was in her group?

A second grader is 7-8 years old--that's old enough to remember if you have a coat with you or not.

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Yes, I would.

Hmmmm. What if the trip was NOT a school event and the adult wasn't a teacher? If your child was invited along on a friend's outing, with 4 or 5 other friends, say a birthday trip, and the parents took them all in their mini-van.

If your child forgot a coat or left behind other personal items, would you hold the adults responsible? Would you expect they would replace the coat if it didn't turn up?

Kids lose stuff. The adults should take steps to avoid or minimize the chances that kids lose stuff, but if they've taken those steps, I don't see how you can blame the adults.

For some kids, this is how they learn responsibility. They learn that their actions (or inactions) have consequences. Looking for someone else to blame won't help the kid.

[vulturemom]

I wouldn't have even called the teacher at home (or at school for that matter) I would tell my child to check at school and I would call the mussium. If it wasn't in either place then I would let it go. It is an imprefect world and coats/jackets get lost all the time (at least at my house)

[Oriole]

Teachers are not superhuman. I know parents lost stuff on their own. I know kids lost their stuff when out with parents. And we are talking one family at a time! In this case, we are not talking about one child. We are not talking about 3 children. We are talking about a class-size trip with 7 and 8 year old kids.

How reasonable is it to keep track of 25 kids x 25 coats x admissions x reconfirming the time with the bus driver x directing the chaperones to what they need to help out with x taking this kid to the bathroom x telling that kid to stop touching the painting x answering that kids' questions about "when's lunch" x keeping track of this kid's blood sugar x making sure that kid does not stay screaming on the floor because he didn't get to be the first one in line x calming that kid because she is upset about something completely unrelated to anything that happened at school today or ever x holding on to the backpack with emergency information like your life depends on it... It's unrealistic. Basic human courtesy would demand understanding on parents' part. One adult can't do all of those things, even three adults might not be able to do all of those things.

Forget the coat! I wouldn't be calling a teacher at home unless he/she lost a student.

Granted, I am a teacher, so it's all coming from a very biased perspective.

It's also very much reminds me of the double-standard in education: when it's convenient - teachers are expected to be "the parent", and when it's not convenient, teachers are expected "to remember their place".

[noobmom]

Originally Posted by vbactivist

Yes, I would.

I guess you and I will just have to agree to disagree then. People are only imperfect humans and to hold them to such a high standard over a material thing seems harsh to me.

[Amys1st]

For me, no I would not blame the teacher, I would not call her at home either.

But, my dd1 would forget her head if it wasnt attached. That is just the way she is. Thus the reason everything (esp wraps and coats) are labeled to the max. I might drop the teacher an email to be on the look out for a coat but I would also call the musuem on my own to see if its there. For us, it would be more of a consquence which is how my dd learns. She forgets homework at school all the time. I have taken trips back to school for things. Usually I have to say right at pick up- do you have your folder, do you have your papers etc. so we dont have to go back. She will hopefully grow out of it.
But if she forgets her homework more than 4 times a trimester, she wont be able to get her "Character award" which to her is a worse fate. So she is learning to have all her homework, complete, handed in. Also all the other things to do each and everyday.

Also, I teach RE at our church and some of the things I hear parents say to us or their teachers at school blows my mind.