My last birth was a UC and after I learned this baby had a heart defect I struggled at first with the knowledge that I HAD to deliver in a hospital this time. all things considered I think it went as well as it possibly could have. She's now 6 days old and having open heart surgery this morning. Here's the story of her birth:
I'm camped out with laptop in the NICU room now, DH went out to get some food...FIL and MIL brought my kids by earlier but I didn't bring them into the NICU, there's a sign that says they have to have had chicken pox vaccine..I think. Maybe it says they can't have had it, it's a difficult sign to interpret. (later clarified that they can come in, maybe tomorrow then?) I did show them the pictures I took on the camera, but that's not nearly as real...DH's parents got to see her and I got to change her diaper and then they dosed her up with morphine so she wouldn't be so uncomfortable and could rest for a while. The nurse just told me that in order to maintain a 60% oxygen saturation they have her on 100% oxygen and you cant increase more than 100% so if it doesn't improve then they may try a different ventilator or they may try nitric (gas), but she's not sure what the cardiologist will recommend yet.
I'm just writing this down to write it, it doesn't have to make sense...
so the birth was really fast! I mean...my last labor was 6 hrs total from first contraction to her poppin out, but this was really more like three! I finished my shift at work (home office) and noticed that it was uncomfortable to sit through contractions any longer...I needed to get up and sway my hips to get through them
I was starting to make noise and could not for the life of me get my bag packed "whooooooa whoaaaaaaa whooooaaaaa" to get through and round and round those hips. I had to wake up DH and he freaked out a little (he had NO CLUE I might be in labor when he went to bed cause I didn't say anything at 10pm, it was still to early even for me to know) asking about ambulances and all kinds of questions that I could not answer. I just knew that I wanted to be in one place to labor and not have to get up again, so since I knew I needed to go to the hosp, I better get there sooner than later cause if I laid down anywhere I would NOT want to be getting back up. I am not really a mover in labor, I like to lie pretty much motionless and try to relax my legs and hips as much as possible. So that was my thinking "I REALLY wanna lie down, but not here, lets go where we need to go" and DH was interpreting my "whoa whoa whoas" as "the baby is gonna fall out in the next two minutes, we need assistance!"
I was just trying to pack a few more things but I had to take too many breaks and DH wanted to get going...he kept taking my bags before I was ready, and asking me questions during my contractions. It was funny...his parents showed up, MIL to stay with the kids and FIL to drive us to Portland and I managed to get in the car somehow and we took off. All this took place between say 2:30 and 3:00. I punched out from work right at 2:00. I think we got to the hospital right after 3 and she was born by just past 4.
I kept telling FIL to not speed and drive gently, ha ha I think I was freaking the guys out with my sounds, but we made it to the hosp in one piece and they got me out of the car and into a wheel chair and took me upstairs to the triage...I remember looking at the stretcher they asked me to get on and asking why the bed was so damn small! they were able to get my record right away and actually were shouting things out and said "mom is 34 and baby is a boy" and I was so sad, I said "no! I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet" thinking that they has spoiled my surprise...so I just pretended they made it up...they really wanted to do a cervical check so we waited for one contraction to pass and she checked and said "you're almost fully dilated, just an anterior lip!" it was really painful for her to check me, but I guess it was good to know that because I really thought I had a whole night of labor in front of me, so that info put things in perspective and made the intense way I was feeling not so scary.
then they took me to a big nice Labor & Delivery room and I got on a bigger comfier bed and just tried to relax while they continued to ask me questions about the pregnancy and stuff...they kept saying to let them know if I felt the urge to push and I was laughing on the inside, thinking "you guys will know, I don't have to talk about it", and right about then I felt her move her head right down into the "doorway" and my noises changed a bit too. My water still hadn't broken at this point and so I started feeling what was going on and asked for a warm compress. I had the burning sensation and I could feel the bag of waters bulging out, I was up on all fours and the room had a pretty large number of people in it by now, I could hear them all milling about and talking and with the next contraction I just kinda pushed a little, and then the water broke right in my hand and she came slip sliding out all at once.
I was up on my knees and I yelled wait! wait! and just kinda hovered there for a second, I touched her face and stuff but they already got in there and clamped her cord and asked me if I wanted to cut. I never got a chance to really ask them to hold off...and it already had clamps on it so I just cut it. she looked SO SMALL to me, like just the tiniest lil thing, and she was covered in lumpy yellow stuff, they later said there was some meconium in the water, so maybe it stained the vernix? I dunno...
then the neonatologist took her over to the warmer thing and they were doing all kinds of whatever, I couldn't see and someone said something about boy and I said "wait! are we sure it's a boy?" and that's when they checked and said no, you have a girl!! I was so thrilled that my dream that I had the other night was true, a little sad that I didn't get to be the first to discover that but the big fear was really setting in at that point and I just started kinda wailing that I was so scared and nervous, I really bawled hard for a few minutes, and my whole body was just trembling. DH came over and gave me a big hug and that calmed me down a bit, and I decided to stop making so much noise and try to listen to what was going on.
the doc came over and said they were gonna take her upstairs and put in a central line and then the cardiologist would come to do the echo and that they would let us know when we could go see her. I had no choice but to watch her get wheeled away, it was sooooo hard. Then I started to clean myself up a bit, my socks were soaked and I pushed the placenta out and no one really noticed, so I kinda looked it all over. DH said that the OB must have thought I was strange playing with my placenta but it was so different from my daughter's, it had all these deep canyons in it and it was much smaller around. I plopped it in the tray and then said "wait! can I take it home?" and they said sure and put it in a little plastic container for me. I'll bury it under the apple trees with my dd's out back.
then they all started joking about what a great birth it was and how I made their jobs easy cause they didn't have to do anything. I felt really proud that I was able to take control over the birth itself and do it my way, and they were all just a tiny bit impressed, so that felt good. I hopped in the shower to get the rest of the blood off my legs and then they left us all alone in the room and that was so surreal. Just quiet and no baby, almost as if nothing had happened. DH dozed while I tried to get my laptop connected and about an hour later they moved us to our room in postpartum...
I'm still surprised that things moved so quickly. I was also surprised to hear about the meconuim. I guess she decided it was time to be born, even though I wanted to go longer, grow her as much as possible, she must have had her reasons for coming when she did, and as fast as she did. I am so honored to meet her and be her mom. I think she's already beaten so many odds just by getting this far and I can't wait to see what she'll be able to teach me in the days and weeks to come. She's a really awesome little fighter, and she has such a huge support network already!
I'm camped out with laptop in the NICU room now, DH went out to get some food...FIL and MIL brought my kids by earlier but I didn't bring them into the NICU, there's a sign that says they have to have had chicken pox vaccine..I think. Maybe it says they can't have had it, it's a difficult sign to interpret. (later clarified that they can come in, maybe tomorrow then?) I did show them the pictures I took on the camera, but that's not nearly as real...DH's parents got to see her and I got to change her diaper and then they dosed her up with morphine so she wouldn't be so uncomfortable and could rest for a while. The nurse just told me that in order to maintain a 60% oxygen saturation they have her on 100% oxygen and you cant increase more than 100% so if it doesn't improve then they may try a different ventilator or they may try nitric (gas), but she's not sure what the cardiologist will recommend yet.
I'm just writing this down to write it, it doesn't have to make sense...
so the birth was really fast! I mean...my last labor was 6 hrs total from first contraction to her poppin out, but this was really more like three! I finished my shift at work (home office) and noticed that it was uncomfortable to sit through contractions any longer...I needed to get up and sway my hips to get through them
I was starting to make noise and could not for the life of me get my bag packed "whooooooa whoaaaaaaa whooooaaaaa" to get through and round and round those hips. I had to wake up DH and he freaked out a little (he had NO CLUE I might be in labor when he went to bed cause I didn't say anything at 10pm, it was still to early even for me to know) asking about ambulances and all kinds of questions that I could not answer. I just knew that I wanted to be in one place to labor and not have to get up again, so since I knew I needed to go to the hosp, I better get there sooner than later cause if I laid down anywhere I would NOT want to be getting back up. I am not really a mover in labor, I like to lie pretty much motionless and try to relax my legs and hips as much as possible. So that was my thinking "I REALLY wanna lie down, but not here, lets go where we need to go" and DH was interpreting my "whoa whoa whoas" as "the baby is gonna fall out in the next two minutes, we need assistance!"
I was just trying to pack a few more things but I had to take too many breaks and DH wanted to get going...he kept taking my bags before I was ready, and asking me questions during my contractions. It was funny...his parents showed up, MIL to stay with the kids and FIL to drive us to Portland and I managed to get in the car somehow and we took off. All this took place between say 2:30 and 3:00. I punched out from work right at 2:00. I think we got to the hospital right after 3 and she was born by just past 4.
I kept telling FIL to not speed and drive gently, ha ha I think I was freaking the guys out with my sounds, but we made it to the hosp in one piece and they got me out of the car and into a wheel chair and took me upstairs to the triage...I remember looking at the stretcher they asked me to get on and asking why the bed was so damn small! they were able to get my record right away and actually were shouting things out and said "mom is 34 and baby is a boy" and I was so sad, I said "no! I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet" thinking that they has spoiled my surprise...so I just pretended they made it up...they really wanted to do a cervical check so we waited for one contraction to pass and she checked and said "you're almost fully dilated, just an anterior lip!" it was really painful for her to check me, but I guess it was good to know that because I really thought I had a whole night of labor in front of me, so that info put things in perspective and made the intense way I was feeling not so scary.
then they took me to a big nice Labor & Delivery room and I got on a bigger comfier bed and just tried to relax while they continued to ask me questions about the pregnancy and stuff...they kept saying to let them know if I felt the urge to push and I was laughing on the inside, thinking "you guys will know, I don't have to talk about it", and right about then I felt her move her head right down into the "doorway" and my noises changed a bit too. My water still hadn't broken at this point and so I started feeling what was going on and asked for a warm compress. I had the burning sensation and I could feel the bag of waters bulging out, I was up on all fours and the room had a pretty large number of people in it by now, I could hear them all milling about and talking and with the next contraction I just kinda pushed a little, and then the water broke right in my hand and she came slip sliding out all at once.
I was up on my knees and I yelled wait! wait! and just kinda hovered there for a second, I touched her face and stuff but they already got in there and clamped her cord and asked me if I wanted to cut. I never got a chance to really ask them to hold off...and it already had clamps on it so I just cut it. she looked SO SMALL to me, like just the tiniest lil thing, and she was covered in lumpy yellow stuff, they later said there was some meconium in the water, so maybe it stained the vernix? I dunno...
then the neonatologist took her over to the warmer thing and they were doing all kinds of whatever, I couldn't see and someone said something about boy and I said "wait! are we sure it's a boy?" and that's when they checked and said no, you have a girl!! I was so thrilled that my dream that I had the other night was true, a little sad that I didn't get to be the first to discover that but the big fear was really setting in at that point and I just started kinda wailing that I was so scared and nervous, I really bawled hard for a few minutes, and my whole body was just trembling. DH came over and gave me a big hug and that calmed me down a bit, and I decided to stop making so much noise and try to listen to what was going on.
the doc came over and said they were gonna take her upstairs and put in a central line and then the cardiologist would come to do the echo and that they would let us know when we could go see her. I had no choice but to watch her get wheeled away, it was sooooo hard. Then I started to clean myself up a bit, my socks were soaked and I pushed the placenta out and no one really noticed, so I kinda looked it all over. DH said that the OB must have thought I was strange playing with my placenta but it was so different from my daughter's, it had all these deep canyons in it and it was much smaller around. I plopped it in the tray and then said "wait! can I take it home?" and they said sure and put it in a little plastic container for me. I'll bury it under the apple trees with my dd's out back.
then they all started joking about what a great birth it was and how I made their jobs easy cause they didn't have to do anything. I felt really proud that I was able to take control over the birth itself and do it my way, and they were all just a tiny bit impressed, so that felt good. I hopped in the shower to get the rest of the blood off my legs and then they left us all alone in the room and that was so surreal. Just quiet and no baby, almost as if nothing had happened. DH dozed while I tried to get my laptop connected and about an hour later they moved us to our room in postpartum...
I'm still surprised that things moved so quickly. I was also surprised to hear about the meconuim. I guess she decided it was time to be born, even though I wanted to go longer, grow her as much as possible, she must have had her reasons for coming when she did, and as fast as she did. I am so honored to meet her and be her mom. I think she's already beaten so many odds just by getting this far and I can't wait to see what she'll be able to teach me in the days and weeks to come. She's a really awesome little fighter, and she has such a huge support network already!
for your family. Fight baby girl!
I hope your baby's surgery went well.
