Pagan Family Samhain Celebrations

[FrodoLives!]

I'm planning our Samhain activities. It will undoubtedly involve a nature walk on the rail trail, since that worked so well for us for Mabon. The family ritual is going to be a bit challenging to meet everyone's needs - DS is 12 and is more Pantheist/non-theistic, doesn't want gods mentioned at all in the ritual. DD is strongly drawn towards Goddesses. There was a conflict about this between the two of them at the Mabon ritual that almost disrupted the circle.

How do I do this and be fair to everyone?

[Vojerleda]

wow! sounds like what we have to do with our UU pagan rituals Reference the "Sacred Energy" or "That which made us" "Those who made us"-- you can explain to your daughter that to her, those phrases can be analogous with the Goddess. They should also be non-specific enough to satisfy your son. GL!!

[saphire]

that's a good suggestion- seems fair to everyone. Happy Birthday to your ds!

[mntnmom]

What date does everyone use? It's important for us to seperate it from Halloween, and there is a little conflict over the whole Julian/Gregorian calendar thing. We picked Nov. 11, veteran's day. DH gets the day off, and it seems consistent in purpose, remembering the departed. Not big on the strictly patriotic aspect though.
I know people who celebrate on All Soul's Day too. So, what do you guys think?

[honey-lilac]

We separate the days as well. We celebrate on the first Full Moon in November. It's not really very formal, we just put out photos of everyone who has passed on, onto our family altar. I'm not sure what we're going to do exactly this year, usually I celebrate it on my own by reading poetry about the temporary nature of life, or else if there was a specific person who died I'd go through their photos and reminisce about them, etc. DH has become more involved in our celebrations, and usually we're OK for the other holidays with a fancy meal and some sort of activity (like apple picking, taking a nature walk, etc.) but I can't think of too many family centered activities right now that would work. And the kids are still too young to talk about the relatives or whatever, they're still babies. We'd visit a cemetery but no one we know is buried nearby. Hmm, maybe we could visit anyway and see if we could leave flowers or whatever on random graves. That might work, but I don't know if you're allowed to do that.

[Theoretica]

[FrodoLives!]

We actually don't separate Samhain from the secular Hallowe'en, or rather we celebrate them both on the same days. It's a great opportunity to share our celebration with our friends of other/no faiths.

Plus, you know, there's candy involved!

I was actually hoping to avoid having our family rituals turn out like the CUUPs circles I attended years ago, as they were so non-specific as to turn out totally flat.

DS is sitting here trying to read over my shoulder. I just discussed with him the possibility of using his sister's Kali statue as the central focus (ringed with one of the snakeskins that he found, an appropriate symbol of renewal) so both of their favorite symbols are together, and we would "give" symbols of the things we discussed at Mabon (stuff in our lives we want to leave behind us or put to rest.) He seems good with that, (Except he pointed out that since he's sitting on the floor, he's technically reading under my elbow, not over my shoulder! :P )

[Meiri]

Since it's a family celebration, and therefor there aren't a whole lot of people there, how about each person gets a chance to express their thoughts on the theme of the celebration with no censorship from the other. He can express his thoughts; she can express hers. No need for disruption or disrespect.

Another thought I just had is that while I'm not big on various deities, I see the mention of them as very poetic and symbolic in nature. Others are more literal about it, and we all get along fine.