Gentle encouragement / enforcement of nap

[LaurieG]

My almost 2 yr old has decided not to nap. I'm not ready to give it up yet, and I'm not sure she is either. On the days she doesn't nap she seems to get through the day until dinner time without too much difficulty/ fussiness so I guess we could just move her bedtime up to right after dinner. But I still feel a "quiet time" in the afternoon is important for both of us. So how do I do that without tears, if possible.

Right now she is in her room crying while I type this and try to figure out my next step. I gave her toys, turned the music on in her room, and told her she could play quietly for a little bit until I come back but as soon as I shut the door she starts crying.

Lying down in bed next to her doesn't work - she just wants to chat. Plus I have my 5 yr old at home and I can't ignore him for hours (he doesn't nap).

Thoughts?

[ssh]

Sorry, it sounds like she's ready to give up her nap. It's cruel to try to 'make' someone rest. My DD would freak if I tried to shut her in a room by herself. If you need some quiet time in the afternoons, painting is very quiet and not as messy as you'd think it was. Playdoh and markers are pretty quiet too. You could start by saying "this is our special quiet time so you can do some fun quiet painting(or whatever)". Also if you're not anti-TV there's always a movie. Lot's of 2 year olds are ready to give up their nap. Mine stopped needing her's at 27 months and still sleeps about 10 to 12 hours each night.

[swisscanmom]

Do you have a really good routine? Is nap always at the same time after the same activity?
I believe routine is key in getting a 2yr old to nap. I have a home childcare and all my children lie down for a nap, under 3yrs the ALL fall asleep.

We do pretty active things in the morning, like lots of outdoor play or walks, visits to play groups, the activity tires them all out. Nap time follows story time which follows lunch and bathroom/diaper change time. Every single day. They are so used to this routine that nap is just "what we do". I make the room half dark and they all lie down on their beds or mats in the same room, some soft music, and I sit in the same room with them (usually surfing the web). If they chat I ask them to lie quietly and listen to the music, please. Sometimes it takes a few reminders, but one by one they all dose off.
I do not believe that making them rest is cruel, we all need some time to recharge.
If a child truly can't fall asleep then they can get up after about 45 minutes and do quiet activities until the other kids wake up. That hardly ever happens here.

This is something you could even have your 5yr old do. Instead of music you could put on a story on a cd instead to listen to if she or he likes that.

[4Jet]

Is it possible to have her in her room for quiet time but leave the door open? Then she can do what she wants without the fear of feeling locked in? Maybe set an egg timer and explain that when it dings, rest time is over?

Not sure on where you live (and the weather) but can do go on a walk for get her to sleep and take along your 5 yo DS?

It's hard but hang in there Mama. Either she's done with naps or just had a rough time settling down.

[LadyCatherine185]

I agree with the PP's about routine. Maybe everyday after lunch, snuggle with your 2 DC's and read a couple stories, and then have quiet time for both kids. I think a 5 year old could use some quiet time too, even if he does not sleep. Also, offer alternatives to sleeping such as playing with XYZ quietly in her room, with the door open and maybe a small lamp on, in case she really is ready to give up her nap. On the days she doesn't sleep, move bedtime up earlier.

[JL83]

Since she was ~2 my DD has napped at daycare 3 days a week (I think it's seeing the other kids nap) and hasn't napped regularly at home the other 4 days. She's almost 3 now.

We do quiet time, but we would NEVER close her door. At the beginning she would come out alot and I'd just help her back into her room. Using our portable DVD player helped. We don't do alot of TV, but that kept her in her bed and happy. I don't think that 2 is old enough to "entertain" herself for more than a few minutes.

[LaurieG]

Thanks for all the ideas. We had a good routine but lately it's gotten off due to illness and some other things. She also doesn't sleep well if anything is off in her body and she's been sick with a string of viruses for 2 months now. So I think I will focus on the routine and see if the nap comes back.