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Please be brutally honest about this letter to the school: - Page 2

post #21 of 49
Glad to see you are being such a strong advocate for your daughter.
post #22 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by DimitraDaisy View Post
You could also ask for somebody to supervise playtimes more closely for a while. Make specific requests like these, things that the school can do. Extra supervision at breaktimes they can add straight away -- perhaps a teacher can discreetly watch Angie and these boys for a few days, preferably one who hasn't been involved in this so far and isn't biased one way or another. And they can inform you of the steps they are going to take as soon as they have formulated a plan. You can even set a reasonable deadline, although I wouldn't do that just yet.

. Show some respect for the teachers (even if you aren't feeling it just now) and also place your trust in them (hard as it may be). You are making it clear that you want this situation to stop, but it is up to them to figure out how to stop it. It is their job, at the end of the day! They should do it!
It is very common here for parents to request supervision for the largely unsupervised playtimes in the waldorf elementary schools. However, discretely watching doesn't cut it anymore in this situation. The school and teachers need to be up front in a very non-discrete, very present way. And honestly, "biased in any way"? The child has been assaulted and the school has done nothing beyond blaming the child and parents.

Further, respect must be earned. Parents pay a lot of money to entrust their children to a school such as this. The school needs to earn back the trust and respect of the parents and the child, not the other way around.
post #23 of 49
I still think you should go with my last paragraphs! I also don't think you should use the word "cooperate" as it implies prior fault on your part; as if yeah, you've been a pest about this, but now you'll cooperate.

In my enclosure, I have detailed the incidents that have occurred at school for your review and consideration in the creation of new disciplinary policies. I expect assurances that such policies will be put in place and strictly enforced before I remit the requested bond money

I will be happy to meet further with administrators and teachers in order to ensure that XWS is able to provide a safe environment for all students. I am available at the phone number and email address listed below.


ETA: "with best regards, I am respectfully yours" is too elaborate and flowery. Go with a straightforward "Sincerely"
post #24 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
ETA: "with best regards, I am respectfully yours" is too elaborate and flowery. Go with a straightforward "Sincerely"
It would be fun, in fantasyland, to end it,

Take due notice and govern yourselves accordingly.

Liz
post #25 of 49
Thread Starter 
I just wanted to say Thank you very much.
You guys have been soooo helpful in this very stressful time. I can't believe how great you people have been especially since you don't even know me and my family. You are truely wonderful moms!!!!
My dh and I love you. Especially Liz.

Are any of you lawyers? You have way with words.
post #26 of 49
Good luck! Also, just a nitpick: victim, not victum.
post #27 of 49
Thread Starter 
oh! ha ha
thanks
post #28 of 49
Hi Michele. I hope you'll update us on how your situation is going. You've been thoughtful about your letter so hopefully it's getting a good response. Let us know.
post #29 of 49
I admire how hard you are trying to make this work for your family. I am as committed as anyone, but I would have a hard time continuing in that situation. Is there no other Waldorf nearby? Despite what some may have you think, this is not typical, normal or acceptable at any school including Waldorf.

I'm so sorry you are all going through this. I do hope the letter gets you the results you desire.
post #30 of 49
Thread Starter 
She hasn't been bullied since Oct.18 so maybe the warm welcoming is over. I'm not paying the bond yet and I've perfected the letter (well another smart woman did) he he. So I'm waiting to see what happens in the next couple weeks. Hopefully all will be well because she just LOVES this school and would like to continue.
Melanie we moved to be close to this Waldorf School, the next one would be about 2 hrs away. And if this did not work out, there's no way I would be able to talk my dh into moving AGAIN to go to another Waldorf school. He would think I was nuts. If this didn't work out, we'd put her in public school I guess but my fingers are crossed that there will be no more hurting my dd.

Michele
post #31 of 49
If you get anything other than an immediate plan of action to correct the issue, get out of there. There are some scary Waldorf schools out there.
post #32 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by MicheleRMT View Post
Wow do I ever suck as a letter writer compared to your wonderful smart letter!!!!
One slightly awkward sentense is better than My whole awkward letter.

But the parent handbook does say that the 3 incident does lead to explusion, but they just Fail to go to that step 3.
Well, yes, they are getting money from the parents after all. Expulsion means fewer students.
post #33 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by dachshundqueen View Post
Take due notice and govern yourselves accordingly.
May I use this in my own correspondence? Please?
post #34 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
Well, yes, they are getting money from the parents after all. Expulsion means fewer students.
I know, that's what my dh is saying.

My dd is just so happy at this school. I'm still crossing my fingers.
post #35 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by MicheleRMT View Post
I know, that's what my dh is saying.

My dd is just so happy at this school. I'm still crossing my fingers.
Hey, as long as she's happy and you haven't signed any contracts.

It's kind of late so I'm getting a bit anxious about the universe, but have you had the "always tell me when bad things happen even if another adult says not to" talk?
post #36 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
have you had the "always tell me when bad things happen even if another adult says not to" talk?
No I've never thought of that before. (I'll definately add that.) We are VERY close anyway. Plus I'm like a relentless lawyer when I question her about things. I ask her the same thing in 5 different ways in case she's not paying attention or might forget something. ESPECIALLY after school when I ask her if she or anybody else got hit by anybody.
So far so good.
Thanks.
post #37 of 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by MicheleRMT View Post
No I've never thought of that before. (I'll definately add that.) We are VERY close anyway. Plus I'm like a relentless lawyer when I question her about things. I ask her the same thing in 5 different ways in case she's not paying attention or might forget something. ESPECIALLY after school when I ask her if she or anybody else got hit by anybody.
So far so good.
Thanks.
At your Dd's age, it can be really hard for them to recall their day when questioned in an abstract way. Of course it depends upon the child, but I found sometimes asking a simple question like "who did you sit next to at lunch" can then lead to an avalanche of discussion as they naturally recall who they sat by, what they talked about, who they walked outside to play with, etc.
post #38 of 49
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melaniee View Post
At your Dd's age, it can be really hard for them to recall their day when questioned in an abstract way. Of course it depends upon the child, but I found sometimes asking a simple question like "who did you sit next to at lunch" can then lead to an avalanche of discussion as they naturally recall who they sat by, what they talked about, who they walked outside to play with, etc.
Don't worry, I ask it ALL. I ask in simples ways not abstract.
I'm a RMT but I only take patients during the day when dd is at school. I pick her up from school and I'm with her until bed, pretty much. Plus, I didn't work, (money work) at all when she was born until she was at school grade 2. So we are very close.
post #39 of 49
i think it would be great if this could be completely resolved.

it is so frustrating for me to read these letters because i find that, in general, no one gives a crap about bullying in any school.

i grant you, it was another generation, but what happened to your daughter happened to me grade after grade, school after school from 4th grade on. i went to public schools and i went to private schools. i was blamed, or deemed 'too sensitive' and over time, i gave up telling because when i did, the teachers would (verbally, emotionally) abuse me too.

honestly, this isn't just a waldorf issue, and it's likely that you would have to pursue things regardless of which school, unless your daughter didn't happen to be the scape goat of that social circle.

i write this only because somewhere else may be better, but it may not be. if your daughter loves this school, it actually may be better for her to stay, because you cannot assume that any other school would be better.

this does not mean don't stand up for her either. you must. but i would until i get results that are tangable to me.

and FWIW, i would send the letter *now* rather than waiting at all. don't wait a couple of weeks to "see how things are" and if the "warm welcome" has settled down. it could be that the kids were excited/distracted by the celebration (halloween) and then will pick back up again. this happened often to me. i *loved* holidays because bullies back off. even they are happy at the holidays. i actually could have cared less about the holiday, i needed the emotional rest.

so i would send the letter now and get some notice. BTW, what is helpful about the letter is that it begins a record. oral conversations can be "forgotten" but when it's written, they have to address it.
post #40 of 49
I am so impressed with the support and the writers/editors of this letter. Michele, please keep us posted.
Anne
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