toddlers and newborns

[boobs4milk]

how are you coping? it's been a long time since i've had a toddler and a newborn so i don't remember the sheer exhaustion. my dh had the audacity to tell me to sleep when the baby does. he knows good and well that millie sleeps during the day and natalie DOES NOT. so was he suggesting that i nap while our 3 yr old runs wild?

millies awake time is 10 p to 4 a which is no surprise because in the nicu they did baths at 3 a. she cluster feeds from about 6p to 9 p and then again from 1 a to 4 a and i'm just worn out. couple that with the fact that she will NOT allow me to put her down for an instant (i sleep with her in the crook of my arm) and i'm so not looking forward to entertaining visitors this weekend.

natalie wants to 'help' all the time but usually ends up cracking millie on the head with something or getting up in millie's face and being too loud. also, the tantrums have climbed to new heights and i'm frazzled into giving in a lot. ugh. you can tell i wasn't prepared for this bit in the least lol

anyone else having toddler and newborn chaos in their house?

[lil_stinkyfeet]

Have 4 small children yes my house is somewhat chaotic..

My only priorities are keeping the laundry done up and keeping the dishes done and surface cleaning. Everything else can wait until the baby is older. And yes I am exhausted too... BUT I know that the baby is going to grow up fast and it will all be a distant memory soon

[completebeginnings]

I will hopefully join you this week. Come out baby. But yes I will have a 6,4,2 yo and nb. My 2 and 4 yo still nap. So hopefully baby will sleep at the same time. I am worried though.

[BlueEyedLady]

Yep, I'm exhausted.

I'm getting sick of hearing "sleep when the baby sleeps." Umm...hello? Not once, in 3 weeks, have the two of them napped at the same time, and I cannot let my not-yet-2-year-old run while I nap. The best I've gotten is to lie on the couch while he watches a movie and Sadie naps, but I still need to stay awake because he doesn't really watch, he tends to play on his own, occasionally glancing at the tv. Ugh.

For the first few days Sadie was a novelty, and now Evan would beat her to death if I'd let him. When I'm feeding her, he thinks he absolutely HAS to be on my lap, even if he was totally ignoring me 5 seconds before that. When she does sleep, I'm trying to focus on giving him lots of good, focused attention so he doesn't feel quite as left out, which is keeping me running constantly.

On top of that, Sadie is much more high needs than Evan was, colicky for a good solid couple of hours around 11 pm, finally dropping to sleep around 1 am. Then she's back up every 1 to 1 1/2 hours all night long, each time for at least an hour. She does not like to be put down, and she does not like being worn, so when I do have to put her down to change Evan, or make him some food, or dress him, etc., we have a screaming fit while I quickly try to deal with him, which upsets him and then I have two screamers.

I'm just trying to remember that this is only for a super short time, that before I know it she'll be his age and I'll wonder where the time went. So, I'm trying to breathe deeply, remain calm, and fight the hormonal roller coaster that makes me want to shut myself in the closet and cry when everyone's screaming at once. And, we take lots of car rides since riding makes both of them sleep...so it's a few minutes of peace if I really need it.

[MandyB]

Oh yes, I understand your frustration!!! My kids are all 4 pretty much the same spacing apart in age, but my oldest two were both very gentle with their younger sibling when they were 2 1/2 and the new baby was born. My 2 1/2 year old now is SO SO SO much rougher with her baby brother! I have to constantly watch her and cannot put the baby down ANYWHERE while she is awake because she will literally LOVE him to DEATH if given the chance! I cannot put him in the swing, the cradle, on the bed...not even to take a potty break. The poor boy has to come to the bathroom with me in the sling or moby wrap because Jordyn will attack him with love if he doesn't!

[boobs4milk]

whew that i'm not the only one but boo that we can comiserate!

i totally understand the whole 'love em to death' thing. natalie was loving millie earlier and had her entire face covering millie's! i had to pry her off of the baby...

and i'm trying to do quality time with natalie but all she wants to do is poke and prod the baby everytime i get near her. since i'm holding millie all the time it's a distraction and we can't seem to do anything without me saying 'get off of the baby' 100 times!

oh, and my dh had the nerve to complain to me about how tired he was!?!? then he said "i hope to get SOME sleep in the next 24 hrs." he gets woken up a few times at night then moves to the other room. and he has done a feeding ONE time in the last three weeks and i had to take over half-way through because he fell asleep and let the bottle run all over amelia! he's averaging 6 hrs/night, i'm up to about 2. he can jump in a cold lake for all i care about his lack of sleep!

[Serenyd]

Either Caden is crying or the baby is fussing ... seems like I have to pick one or the other to comfort. Caden is running a fever tonight - he's had a cold all week and I'm afraid he's getting a sinus or ear infection. Of course it's the weekend so we can't go see the ped! Good news is my milk is in!!! Yay. I'm nursing him right now but Miss Prissy over here doesn't having to chill by herself. Toddler nursing afterpains ... ouch ouch ouch .. but at least my lochia is turning from rubra to alba (Weird that I can't keep track of what day of the week it is, but I can pull up lingo like that from nsg school? Maybe pregnancy-induced alzheimers, lol.)

[Katica]

I have a 3-year-old DS and a newborn. They DO NOT　nap at the same time. STill trying to figure out how to NOT brush my teeth with facewash from sleep deprivation and to remember to take a shower every once in a while.

Surprisingly, though, Naomi is a much more efficient nurser and a better sleeper (at least during the day) than DS was so it`s a pleasant surprise.

Wow, when I hit the reply button I had so much to say but now I can`t remember any of it.

[Kmama2]

I have a 2 and 1/2 year old and a 2 week old. Its a bit crazy.. I haven't been able to nap but I do lie down with the baby when my toddler naps... usually just end up nursing him which is not the same as sleeping but at least I can chill out for a bit.

[Spiralshell]

This is my first baby, so all I can say is:
You Mamas are amazing. I don't know how you survived pregnancy with other little ones running around, let alone now with newborns and toddlers!

[Nature]

When this babe is born I'll have an 11 yo, 6 yo, 3 yo, and 20 month old. My house is always chaotic.

Hang in there.. it gets easier!

[boobs4milk]

Originally Posted by Serenyd

(Weird that I can't keep track of what day of the week it is, but I can pull up lingo like that from nsg school? Maybe pregnancy-induced alzheimers, lol.)

lol looks like katica and a few others of us have caught that, too!

ok, so last night was loooong, but dh redeemed himself by taking baby and giving her a 2 oz topper this morning and she slept for 3 hrs. that was AFTER she nursed for 1 1/2 hrs but i got some sleep

of course, she's blissfully sleeping away and we are having company today so no nap for me i'll see ya'll at 2 am again LOL

and for those of you who have several young ones, i agree with spiralshell...you are rockin!!! i'm thanking the fates that my others are older and a little less needy!

[zjande]

Mine are 22 mos, 3 yrs, plus I have an 11 yr old & 18 yr old. And guess what else, my poor husband suddenly has shingles & is totally sick & is expected to be for weeks. He has to sleep a lot, & is in so much pain he can barely lift the kids. Geez. I'm only 12 days PP. Rough times here!

But, thankfully this new baby guy is extremely mellow, as long as he's being held. The most difficult times are when my 22 mo needs help getting to sleep. He needs rocking (while being walked around over my shoulder), or bfeeding... I just don't have enough arms. Or, I'll be tandeming both babies, both falling asleep..... & my 3 yr old will then need his butt wiped.

AND, we've taken a 4 week break from our homeschooling but are starting up again on Monday. Seriously, I need about 4 more arms! And a little more sleep.

Boobs4milk, can your bigger kids hang out with your 3 yr old while you nap? Or at least lie down & rest a bit? That's what I do at times. My 11 yr old will entertain our 3yr old while I nap with the toddler & new baby. It usually works out fantastically & I get great naps that way. Another thing I did after my last baby was put a baby gate up in the family room, put in a video, & lay down with the newborn next to my toddler that was watching the movie.

MandyB, my toddler is exactly the same way! I can't leave the baby even to go pee or he'll try to love our newborn to death!

[Maela]

I have a two year old and a 3 week old. It's SO hard! I can't imagine having more kids right now. I have to watch my two year old like a hawk because she's still learning how to be gentle. The 3wo is fussy when ever he's awake (which thankfully, isn't too often ). Dh is so disappointed that he's not more mellow. We thought we would have an easy one after Dd, who was very difficult. I'm so scared for when DS starts having more awake time. Will he still be just as fussy? I think it's my overactive letdown, so I'm trying to do things to help with that.

Oh, and then this morning I wake up to find ants!! all over our kitchen and dining room table! I don't have time to clean right now. My only goal is to keep us all dressed, clean and fed. When I have time, I also do dishes and laundry. But nothing else!


This too shall pass....

[eloise24]

We're actually doing remarkably well, considering that I had Forest Monday afternoon and Monday night Shannon was sick . . . has been since then with fever and "the runs." Today I think she's over the sickness but now has a nasty tooth/fever coming in. Thankfully DS is an angel baby and my mom is here . . . otherwise I think I'd be a wreck!

Hugs to the rest of you busy moms!

Erika

[Pookietooth]

to you so sorry about the situation, we will be having a newborn and a six year old which has its own problems -- six year olds do not nap and mine won't let me nap. We homeschool so I can't nap while he's at school (making school look a whole lot more attractive.
Anyway, as far as the baby being awake at night, I've heard that taking them out during the day can help them figure out night is for sleeping, especially if you can get outside in the morning. Do you have any help? Ask for help! I am hiring a postpartum doula even though we really can't afford it because we have no family in the area to help. If you do, I would ask them to take the toddler to the park or something so you can nap.

[boobs4milk]

thank you for the ideas jen and aubrey. my kids are in public school and by the time they get home it's time to do supper and baths. i have been trying to lay down a bit after i eat dinner but amelia has been using that time to cluster feed!

my dh hasn't been getting home until after 6 pm. he leaves before 6 am and when he leaves the 3 yr old usually wakes up. she was in daycare until this past monday so this week has been rough!!! i'm looking into putting her into a church preschool next week so that will give me a few hours a week to try and rest and just be with amelia.

i should also have a 22 mo old aubrey...i can't imagine how exhausted you are! we went to the library thursday for reading time and then to my pp appt and by 5:30 i was falling asleep in my supper!

[Pandme]

I really admire how positive you guys can be through the exhaustion. I have the fussiest newborn and I'm ashamed to admit the thought "We messed up having two" has crossed my mind more than once. I miss our life with just our son. He's at such a fun age (almost 3) and I'm too tired and stressed to enjoy it or much of anything right now. I had such a hard time when he was a newborn, and now I'm right back there again and it's worse because she cries a LOT more than he did.

[paradoxia13]

So far I've been SO lucky. Devin is really mellow and Brenten is adjusting really well.

BUT! my husband is able to be home with me right now, and my best friend has been staying with us since last Monday making sure we all get fed and taken care of. She leaves this Monday, so we'll see how things go then.

Hang in there mamas - we'll all find our groove and it will get easier!

~heather

[Kedrosami]

Originally Posted by Spiralshell

This is my first baby, so all I can say is:
You Mamas are amazing. I don't know how you survived pregnancy with other little ones running around, let alone now with newborns and toddlers!

Holy crap, I just have one newborn and it's only been 3 weeks and I feel like I can barely function! I can't get anything done--I can't imagine having a toddler too. How is that even possible?