Book recommendation for dh who is always threatening!

[sebrinaw]

Hi everyone: I would love a book suggestion for my dh who always uses threats and punishments to discipline the kids. It drives me insane and when I talk to him about it he seems to agree with me but then he goes right back to the threats again. An example would be when he is putting the boys to bed and they are giggling and talking to each other he will say "if you don't go to bed I am going to take away your toys, or you are grounded tomorrow". He also talks to them in a way that doesn't sit well with me and I am super protective of them and end up saying something in front of them and I know that doesn't help.

I know he would read a book on GD but I am looking for something that is fairly fast to read but gets a good point across about why anger and threats don't work!

Any help would be much appreciated.
Sebrina

[sgmom]

As a mother who doesn't use threats, punishments, or rewards as techniques to "make my child do as I say", I highly recommend reading Unconditional Parenting, or for that matter, any book my Alfie Kohn.

There are a few others that I've heard are good, but I've enjoyed Kohn the most (and haven't read the others so I don't want to suggest them). That said, I've heard "Punished by Rewards" is also a good one (also Kohn), but I found it to be quite a thick book... I have no read it all the way through, but it might also be what you're looking for.

[sgmom]

PS. Doing a google search on positive discipline might also give you some "quick" answers. How time-in's differ from time-outs, why bribes/rewards can do more harm than good, etc.