Originally Posted by Dar
I'd have more of an issue with her going behind my back, since here that would mean the tattoo place was breaking the law, and IME high-quality tattoo places are usually not going to do that... and if a place is willing to break that law, I would wonder what other laws they might be breaking. Especially since I'd be willing to go with her... if she did it without me and illegally I think that would just be stupid.
We've discussed this quite a bit at our house. I have three tattoos and ear piercings, DH has no tattoos or piercings. Many of our friends have full sleeves, multiple piercings, gauges, whatever. I will continue to add to my tattoos, probably my entire life.
Our children know our expectations. Nothing unsafe or completely stupid, basically. It's not a power or judgement issue, it's an issue of concern for their safety. Any body modification has inherent health risks, some more than others. Any place that is willing to perform body modification illegally is doing other things illegally. I've also pointed out examples of homemade/poor quality modifications, in an effort to help my kids understand that a body modification is forever, and you get what you pay for. It's only smart to save up to have the best in your area do your piercing or tattooing.
My teens know that mouth piercings are the one thing that is absolutely not allowed in our house, and if they decide to get one not only will I be completely, outrageously pi$$ed off, but they better have their own health and dental insurance by then. We put 5K of orthodontics into each of their mouths. There is no way they are going to eff that up for a piercing. Before they got the work done, we discussed it, and they agreed to it. Mouth piercings have a high rate of infection and complications (hello, permanent nerve damage), they cause a variety of dental issues, and we (in the health care industry) are seeing an increasing number of pts who have to have surgery or treatment for swallowing or aspirating part of the piercing jewelry. Our daughters know that our stance on this has nothing to do with whether we like or dislike the mouth piercings, it's about safety. In my professional opinion, mouth piercings are not worth the health risk; and as I pay their health insurance and am morally, ethically, and legally responsible for their health at this point in their lives, those types of body modifications are the only type that are flat out forbidden.
And I would disagree with the previous poster who says that old tattoos are ugly. I love to see old tattoos on my patients. They are beautiful, just like scars, saggy breasts, wrinkles, "sunspots" and other signs of aging. They represent a long life, fully and interestingly lived, with hopes, dreams, joy, tears, and disappointments.