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open gifts at party? - Page 3

Poll Results: open the gifts?

 
  • 63% (111)
    yes, at the party.
  • 30% (53)
    no, not at the party.
  • 6% (11)
    obligatory other.
175 Total Votes  
post #41 of 102
When I was a kid, gifts were always opened at the parties and that seems to be the trend now that my daughter is getting invited to parties.

As a guest, yeah, it can be a little boring but part of being a good guest is dealing with a party that's not YOUR ideal and is more about the guest of honor. Someone went to a lot of trouble to feed and entertain you, the least you can do is ooh and ahh over the gifts.

As a hostess, yes, you might worry that your child will be overwhelmed or you just don't really want to deal but part of throwing a party is pleasing your guests so if they expect it, it's a good idea to do it. Someone went to a lot of trouble to select and wrap a gift and gave up some of their time for you child's party, it's nice to meet some of their expectations.

But if you really just HATE the idea of doing it, make sure you write darn good thank you notes and I'm sure no one will care in the long run
post #42 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnmama View Post
A huge part of the joy of giving a carefully chosen (or created) gift is seeing the recipient open it. I vote for opening at the party
Exactly! My oldest ds, 10, went to his "best friend's" party and after carefully choosing what to buy him, was a bit suprised and disappointed when he didn't open any gifts at the party.
post #43 of 102
My kids love giving their friends gifts....they want to see her open it. There have been parties where the child didn't open gifts and my kids were really disappointed to miss that.

We always open gifts at the party.
post #44 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbieB View Post
Maybe that's because it would be rude to tell you that they were dissapointed.
Well, I'm pretty sure I'd hear from the parents (i.e. my good friends) but I'm comfortable that's not the case. No one does it in my group of friends. I want my children to give because they want to give, not because they want to see someone else open something they're giving.
post #45 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
As a guest, yeah, it can be a little boring but part of being a good guest is dealing with a party that's not YOUR ideal and is more about the guest of honor. Someone went to a lot of trouble to feed and entertain you, the least you can do is ooh and ahh over the gifts.
I made a comment about it being boring earlier, but I meant specifically for such a large amount of gifts which would likely take an exceptionally long time to open. IME, that can get sort of rough for everyone involved even the guest of honor and especially the other kids. But in general I agree with you.
post #46 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangefoot View Post
30 kids at a 5yo birthday party sounds a few too many for me!

We always open party gifts at the party as soon as the giver puts the gift in the recipient's hand. Thanks are given and excitement shared.

We don't usually have more than about 7 gifts per party mainly because we don't have many people and there is only one gift given per family.

No party bags here either! You eat the cake at the party and go home with a smile
I think that depends on the kid and parent that are throwing the party. DS turned one in August and there were over 100 people at his party, some not even invited. We are doing the same thing every year most likely and I can really only see it getting bigger.

We did not open gifts at the party and I don't really ever plan on it unless we for some reason have a small party, then I'll leave it up to him. I would prefer that people did not bring gifts in the first place but I know it's rude to put that on an invitation so I settle for just not opening presents till we get home and can make sure each thing gets attention and gets written down for an appropriate thank you note.
post #47 of 102
here no one ever opens gifts at the party. I have only seen it at one party - a backyard party which was a mix of friends and family. It was clear the extended family wanted to see the boy open gifts - they were the only ones who were watching and he was opening all their presents.
What is done at other parties you've been to?
post #48 of 102
I've never been to a birthday party where the gifts weren't opened at the party, so I'd obviously vote for "at the party". However, 25-30 gifts does sound overwhelming for a 5 year old (it would be overwhelming for me!). I'd probably do what a couple other posters suggested and open the gifts from other children at the party, and save the rest for later.

I'm surprised at the number of people who have mentioned kids being bored at the gift opening. That's the part my kids, and my nieces and nephews, like the best. They like to help little ones open the gifts (and respond well if they have to reminded that they're helping, not taking over). DD was at a party today, and she came home and told us everything the birthday girl got, and was really excited for her. She always does that. I think it's very sweet.
post #49 of 102
Its surprising the number of people who think that its disappointing to the gift giver to not see the gift opened.

Aren't gifts supposed to be given freely? With nothing attached?

Yes, it lovely to watch someone open a gift you've give but really, when there are so many gifts and so little time, is the expression of emotion truly genuine?

And what about weddings? Why don't we expect to watch the newlyweds open their gifts? How is that any different?

Just a few thoughts...

post #50 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklingGemini View Post
Yes, it lovely to watch someone open a gift you've give but really, when there are so many gifts and so little time, is the expression of emotion truly genuine?
I can't speak for 25-30 gifts, but if I love a gift, I love it - the number of them doesn't matter.

Quote:
And what about weddings? Why don't we expect to watch the newlyweds open their gifts? How is that any different?
I got married the first time in '91. Everybody I knew who was getting married around that time was doing gift openings, with guests, after either the wedding or the honeymoon. I don't know how widespread that was, or if it's died out, but it was definitely the happening thing around here back then.
post #51 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklingGemini View Post
Its surprising the number of people who think that its disappointing to the gift giver to not see the gift opened.

Aren't gifts supposed to be given freely? With nothing attached?

Yes, it lovely to watch someone open a gift you've give but really, when there are so many gifts and so little time, is the expression of emotion truly genuine?

And what about weddings? Why don't we expect to watch the newlyweds open their gifts? How is that any different?

Just a few thoughts...

I think people are referring to kids, here. most kids don't shop for the wedding gift, but they probably help pick out a gift for their buddy, and would enjoy seeing the friend open it.
post #52 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by SparklingGemini View Post
Its surprising the number of people who think that its disappointing to the gift giver to not see the gift opened.

Aren't gifts supposed to be given freely? With nothing attached?

Yes, it lovely to watch someone open a gift you've give but really, when there are so many gifts and so little time, is the expression of emotion truly genuine?

And what about weddings? Why don't we expect to watch the newlyweds open their gifts? How is that any different?

Just a few thoughts...

But wouldn't you feel bummed if your kids opened their birthday and/or Christmas gifts while you weren't even present? Part of the delight of gift-giving isn't to feel good yourself about what you bought, but to see the joy you've passed on to someone else. It's still about them.

Wedding gifts? Blah. They have registries. Most people buy what they are "told" to buy. Boring.
post #53 of 102
We just had a party for my DS. Given where we were it was more appropriate for him to open the gifts at home. We have no hard and fast rules, it just depends on the circumstances.
post #54 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday Girl View Post
obviously I think what a child can handle should be taken into account. But I think an attempt should be made.



i LOVE watching people open my presents. it is exciting for me.

another thing to consider is open the gifts as friends arrive. It spreads it out, and I know that while i find it fun to watch a child open the gift we have given it can get tedious going though a huge pile.

IF you don't open the present at the party I thin ka Thank you card is a MUST. (otherwise i don't think it is needed, and I know a lot of people disagree with me on that)
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post #55 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyactsofcharity View Post
I think that depends on the kid and parent that are throwing the party. DS turned one in August and there were over 100 people at his party, some not even invited. We are doing the same thing every year most likely and I can really only see it getting bigger.
My comment about the size of the party is more about my personal situation with a tiny house, 4 kids and not many other living relatives. We usually have about 15 kids (sibling groups) and their parents in our house and that is plenty!!!!
post #56 of 102
(Have not read other replies.)

I think it depends on the age. A bunch of two-year-olds won't understand why they can't have the gift. Eight-year-olds would (or at least should).
post #57 of 102
Quote:
Aren't gifts supposed to be given freely? With nothing attached?
Yes. But it's like I said waaaay back there somewhere you have to consider this from both sides:

As a giver, if someone doesn't open it in front of you and if you don't get a thank you, you just kind of have to accept that and move on.

As the receiver, if someone goes to the trouble of buying and wrapping a gift and they want to see you open it, you try to do that (I understand at a party with 100 people - like a wedding - that just doesn't happen because it isn't practical).

We're looking at this from the receiver side today so I'd err on the side of what guests expect.

If a guest came here and said, "Hey! They didn't open my gift at the party!" I would say sometimes as a guest, you just have to roll with the agenda.

And as others have mentioned, a lot of this can be smoothed over with a really good thank you note!
post #58 of 102
I have smaller parties and think opening presents is super fun. I know my child would be crushed if they did not see their present get opened. (but honestly at a party with 30 or more kids my kids likely wouldn't have a very good time anyway and would feel cheated out of a lot of stuff they have come to expect from parties). Yes gifts are given freely blah blah blah but that doesn't mean it doesn't sap the fun out of it is the gift is taken without any acknowledgement of what was inside. It feels more like payment to get into the party that way. I would hope I knew ahead of time if gifts were not going to be opened. It would help me prepare my child.

At our parties to avoid chaos we clear the couch and have everyone sit on the floor. the gift giver brings up their gift and sits with birthday child while they open it. then pictures are taken with guest, Bday child and gift. a straight one and a silly one We have never had any problems. But we have always had the usual crowd here for birthday parties so they have all grown up doing it this way.
post #59 of 102
I'd open the family gifts as they arrive and do the friends' gifts during the party.
post #60 of 102
We have never opened gifts at the party.

1). Its too many. My DS usually takes his time and that usually means opening a gift and playing with it for an hour before the next is opened! lol

2). Saves any embarrasment - duplicate gift (or something you already have), random comments from children or child opening gift, etc.

3). Its just easier to do it when its just you and no spectators.
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