Tandem Nursing Mamas check in

[Huck]

How is it going for the other tandem mamas? Let's share some tips about what's working or not working! How are you juggling the two in your lap? Are you putting restrictions on the older sibs' nursing?

I'm struggling with my son, 33 months, b/c he's trying to nurse on demand again, every hour. He's not eating much. He gets upset and loud if I ask him to wait while I'm changing Arianna or while I get her latched on first. Sometimes he asks politely, almost begging, please please... Should I just let him nurse on demand for a while to make him feel better or is that setting myself up for disaster? He nursed during pregnancy, but I didn't have much milk after 4 months, so he only "checked" for milk once or twice a day. He was a big nurser before I got pregnant.

[fyrebloom]

No attempt yet, but the girls have been away all weekend. I suspect they'll ask tomorrow. We shall see! I don't even know if they'll remember how to latch on right away. Dunno if there will be much tandeming with the baby though, since I have two toddler nurslings. I think i'll be busy holding a potty under the baby trying to EC and then tandeming the twins together. Oh this is getting complicated... my brain hurts LOL!

[Serenyd]

DS has strep throat and a runny nose, so I'm trying to keep him away from the baby right now. I did some tandeming yesterday with both of them in my rocker-recliner and it wasn't too bad, but that was before we ended up having to take him to the ER for a high temp and found out he had strep. Hopefully will get to do some more after his antibiotics kick in good and he's not contagious anymore. I'm kind of sad because I feel like this is causing him to feel left out and unwanted and that is what I was trying to avoid. He seems so big now when I nurse him, I swear his head is almost as big as Kara's whole body!

[Leilamus]

Nate, my 3 year old is back to nursing pretty often but so far it's when he's tired. He's also had a stomach bug this weekend so I've been letting him nurse as often as he wants. I don't really restrict him when he's feeling fine, but I can often say "in a minute" and then he forgets about it for hours. It is strange (and wonderful) to nurse both he and Sydney at the same time. I've got to get a picture of it too though.

[zjande]

Man, I really hate to be a downer, but, I hate tandem nursing. I hated it last time, too. It totally hurts when my 22 mo old nurses. He went from nursing a few times a day while I was pregnant, to being positively obsessed with it now. He chants for it 8998776 times a day. He is hanging on me RIGHT now chanting for it. I only allow him to nurse when we wake up, at his nap, & at bed time. I hoped that telling him exactly when we'd be nursing that he'd not obsess all the rest of the time but he does anyway. It hurts my nipples SO bad that I can't even relax. I dread nursing him. (And BTW, does anyone know WHY it hurts so much to nurse a toddler? Does it always? The only toddlers I've ever nursed where while I was tandeming- I cannot figure out why it hurts to nurse so much after I give birth to a new baby. It doesn't hurt at all to nurse my newborn, unless I do it on the same breast right after nursing my toddler who just tore it apart.) He screams every time I take him off. He screams in the middle of every night, demanding nursing. I can.not. lay down, ever, without him climbing all over me & the newborn, demanding nursing. He is truly obsessed.

This is exactly how it was the last time I tandemed. And swore I'd never do it again.

Last time I kept it up (tandeming) for 3.5 months. My toddler was insane by that time, I couldn't hold him at all. He attacked me aggressively when I did, violently demanding nursing. I didn't enjoy even being physically near him because he was *so obsessed*. I really really really hoped that it would be different this time, that *this* toddler's personality was different enough that he wouldn't chant & obsess. But so far, not good.

And I could just quit. Like, right now. I'd be happy to stay up with him all night long for the next many nights, singing, rocking & helping him adjust to going to sleep without nursing. But, I have guilt because my milk dried up due to pregnancy when he was just 14mos old. I really would like him to get 2 yrs worth of breast milk. And more than ANYTHING, my husband wants him to get 2 yrs worth. And that's my biggest issue.

[abiyhayil]

Tandeming (is that a word?) My 21 mo and 9 day old here! I miss nursing my DS to sleep daddy has been 'helping' with night time which is a bath, brush teeth, movie, fuss in a bear hug for 5 to 10 minutes until he is conked out.) I tried giving DD to hubby after she nursed and was asleep so I could lay down with DS and nurse him to sleep, but she woke up within 5 minutes. DS is still in the side car crib just next to DH instead of me but DH is ready to send him to his toddler bed Starting tomorrow (DH goes back to work)we'll at least have snuggles and nursing for nap time. Its very sweet having them nurse together though, he rubs her head and points to each 'nursie' and has me repeat 'Jacob's nursie' and 'Bella's nursie'

[Nature]

I won't be tandeming this time around, this is the first pregnancy in years that I haven't nursed through. My little guy self weaned almost a year ago. My earliest one so far. And though he's poked at them a few times, and made smacking yum yum noises.. I really don't think he wants to go back to nursing. And I'm okay with that.

Anyway, I just wanted to say... good luck to all of you tandeming! I did it for years and it was rewarding, and difficult at times, challenging, and full of so many memories. I'm so glad I gave it a shot. Go mamas!

[jaylily]

I'm only going to be starting day #3 but my milk came in last night (wow! So much earlier than my milk came in with my boy!) so this is going to be interesting. Right now it's hard b/c I'm still in the beginning stages of healing and am reluctant to pick up my 1 year old too much, so I've only really nursed him while lying down when our daughter is sleeping - though I have nursed them both at the same time a few times. He does try to nurse whenever he gets a chance, but he seems to realize that he has to share now. He does get a little frustrated sometimes when he really badly wants to nurse but sees that his little sister is in 'his' spot...but thankfully if my husband takes him, my husband is able to calm our son down. Sometimes, my little guy is okay with just me cuddling him. She is a much better nurser than he was in the beginning - I had to wake him up to nurse him until my milk came in. She, on the other hand, has already waken up on her own to nurse before it came in, and isn't quite as sleepy as he was in the first couple of days.

Last night when I realized my milk had come in, and I was really engorged, I let my son nurse on that side to relieve the engorgement. It was time for him to sleep and normally he'd go to sleep by nursing, but I think he was too excited about the milk AND about being able to nurse, and he wouldn't go to sleep, so I finally gave him to my husband, who has been putting him to sleep the past couple of days/nights.

[Serenyd]

Zjande - it does hurt when DS nurses - he is constantly pulling back - I don't think the milk is coming out fast enough for him. I'm hoping he will calm down soon. I let him nurse this AM because I was engorged, and he got mad when I took it away.

[MamaAcorn]

Going so much better this time around! 2yo night weaned during first trimester, mostly of her own doing, which was/is wonderful! She's been nursing 3-4 times during the day, mainly when she's tired. She's not usually nursing to sleep, but does sometimes. About half the time, I end the nursing session (I tell her one more minute, then I give her a ten count before de-latching,) which often does end in tears. The other times, she ends the session, anxious to get back to playing with her big brothers.

I feel your pain of the obsessive toddler nurser! My son was like that when my first dd was born. He was waking me up to nurse more than the newborn and I was a mess. Night weaning helped and made the daytime nursing sessions totally doable.

Regarding painful toddler nursing - work on their latch. I know that the toddler and I get lazy with the latch and it doesn't bother me until I'm pregnant and then whoa! Reminding them of using a big mouth and their lips/tongue rather than resting their teeth on your nipple help me the most. My toddler is more than willing to work with me in order to make nursing last a little longer.

[jaylily]

I'm confused now! i thought my milk came in last night, because it was white, and I was really engorged and my babies are definitely gulping like crazy - which my son couldn't do when I was still pregnant. But this morning I noticed some of it is yellow. So sometimes the liquid is white...sometimes it is yellow. Is this a mix of milk and colostrum, or is the hindmilk yellow, because it is fattier?

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by MelF

I'm confused now! i thought my milk came in last night, because it was white, and I was really engorged and my babies are definitely gulping like crazy - which my son couldn't do when I was still pregnant. But this morning I noticed some of it is yellow. So sometimes the liquid is white...sometimes it is yellow. Is this a mix of milk and colostrum, or is the hindmilk yellow, because it is fattier?

When milk started to come it it was a mix of both. Didn't last long though.

[Serenyd]

Tandem nursing is exhausting!!!

I didn't realize how demanding DS would be. He wants to nurse every time he sees the baby nurse, and when I tell him he has to wait, he gets mad. I can nurse them both at one time but it's hard. I'm sore all the time! I thought it would be easier once my milk came in but it's not. I hope he settles down here soon. I really only want to nurse him at bedtime/naptime and maybe once in the morning when he wakes up. Him being sick hasn't helped any because he wants to nurse constantly when he doesn't feel good.

[Huck]

Serenyd, I hear ya. DS wants to nurse more frequently than the baby! He does a nursing song and dance... "I like to nurse all day; I like to nurse all night!" He's very demanding and it has been challenging to set up boundaries, but it is getting better (almost 3 weeks). Now when I tell him that I'm going to count down at the end of nursing, he unlatches before I finish counting.

My folks just left after a 12 day visit and they were a big help in terms of keeping DS busy. Now that they're gone, reality is going to sink in.