Weekly chat thread Oct 26- Nov 2nd - Page 3

[linchi]

I just wanted to check-in on this thread too! I'm not so much of a regular poster as I am a reader, but I just want to say I am so happy to have found this board! I'm a first time mom, with 'crunchy' intentions so this place has been great for research the many ideas that pop into my head. I know the hard-core among you aren't gonna beat me over the head for not CDing or co-sleeping. I like that I am learning about all these options! I'm not sure what is gonna stick, and what we are going to adopt with our little one in February but it's great to know about all the things we can try to see if they feel right.

Observations from this week:
1. Some days I get nasty headaches. I have found a correlation to those days and not taking my pre-natal. So, now I try to stay on top of it more. Maybe this is useful to someone else.

2. The maternity pants I bought are all either flare or wide leg. I find that after wearing straight legged jeans wide legged pants now make me feel short and fat. So yesterday I popped into a 2nd hand store and found an amazing pair of non-maternity stretch, straight legged jeans and they make me feel like a rock star again! That's right, I've got a bump, but d*amn if I don't feel nice about what I'm wearing.

3. Related to number two, I have mostly come to terms with the weight gain that is just going to get worse over the next bit. I don't always like where it happens (really didn't think my butt would grow so much). So mostly I try and make the best choices with what I eat, drink lots of water and make the dog happy with long walks around town. My husband constantly tells me I am beautiful, but I don't think he 'gets' what it's like to have your body shape change.

** TMI WARNING **
4. This is more of a question for you BTDT ladies. Due to a UTI my midwife had us hold off on intercourse. Now that the coast is clear we tried again last night and I got such bad cramps during/after. Was that Braxton Hicks? Something to be worried about? Will it go away or are cramps now a part of our lovemaking?

[Zevy]

hmmm...on the scale issue....you just have to continue to trust that your body knows what it is doing. You may not AGREE with its decision, but it may be smarter than you are. I just don't weigh myself. Of course, I'm in the hospital now, so I don't even have the option...

Sex can bring on BH, definitely. They can also bring on contractions. In addition, there is something in the semen which is thought to be able to trigger labor itself. Its why if you have any signs of pre-term labor you have to go on pelvic rest. Can't irritate the cervix or uterus. Sucks BIG TIME for me, because it means I haven't had sex in a month, and won't for another five, most likely....

[linchi]

Originally Posted by Zevy

Sex can bring on BH, definitely. They can also bring on contractions. In addition, there is something in the semen which is thought to be able to trigger labor itself. Its why if you have any signs of pre-term labor you have to go on pelvic rest. Can't irritate the cervix or uterus. Sucks BIG TIME for me, because it means I haven't had sex in a month, and won't for another five, most likely....

Ok, so I guess no my question might be how do Braxton Hicks feel and how do real contractions feel? When should I start getting worried? It wasn't anything to do with semen as we wanted to try out a swivel head condom we bought before we conceived (which was NOT worth it, btw, no different from the normal type)
I don't think I'm at risk for pre-term labour. I'll ask my midwife, I see her on Friday.
Zevy, you are on COMPLETE pelvic rest? Like nothing??? I feel for you guys.

[Ninetales]

Originally Posted by linchi

2. The maternity pants I bought are all either flare or wide leg. I find that after wearing straight legged jeans wide legged pants now make me feel short and fat. So yesterday I popped into a 2nd hand store and found an amazing pair of non-maternity stretch, straight legged jeans and they make me feel like a rock star again! That's right, I've got a bump, but d*amn if I don't feel nice about what I'm wearing.

Haha, I've had the opposite problem. Everywhere I've looked (it's criminal how few stores even sell maternity clothes around here) most of the jeans are skinny. Maybe people who are still small prefer them, but I am plus size and just don't like them in general. I was so happy to find some bootcuts and thank goodness they were normal priced even in a maternity boutique.

[SheBear]

Originally Posted by linchi

Observations from this week:
1. Some days I get nasty headaches. I have found a correlation to those days and not taking my pre-natal. So, now I try to stay on top of it more. Maybe this is useful to someone else.

2. The maternity pants I bought are all either flare or wide leg. I find that after wearing straight legged jeans wide legged pants now make me feel short and fat. So yesterday I popped into a 2nd hand store and found an amazing pair of non-maternity stretch, straight legged jeans and they make me feel like a rock star again! That's right, I've got a bump, but d*amn if I don't feel nice about what I'm wearing.

3. Related to number two, I have mostly come to terms with the weight gain that is just going to get worse over the next bit. I don't always like where it happens (really didn't think my butt would grow so much). So mostly I try and make the best choices with what I eat, drink lots of water and make the dog happy with long walks around town. My husband constantly tells me I am beautiful, but I don't think he 'gets' what it's like to have your body shape change.

** TMI WARNING **
4. This is more of a question for you BTDT ladies. Due to a UTI my midwife had us hold off on intercourse. Now that the coast is clear we tried again last night and I got such bad cramps during/after. Was that ? Something to be worried about? Will it go away or are cramps now a part of our lovemaking?

1) that's a good point. I've GOT to be better about taking my vitamins...they help so much, but I get busy and forget....but I really need to concentrate on nurturing myself that way. I can't afford to go pamper myself at a spa or get massages, but this is a small simple thing I *can* do to take care of myself; thanks for the reminder!

2)Woo-hoo for clothes that make you feel great! DH surprised me about 6 weeks ago with a bunch of nice maternity clothes (we were in the store trying stuff on, and I was planning to buy ONE outfit, but he took everything and said, "Here, I'll take care of this stuff while you get dressed again." And when I got out of the dressing room, he had just finished purchasing the whole armload for me!! It was a huuuuge confidence boost, but now I really need to find a tailor to hem some of the pants for me, because I'm short, and there's no way I'm gonna totter around on 6" heels the whole time I'm pregnant!

3) It's nuts, isn't it? And no, I don't think there's any way for a guy to possibly understand how overwhelming it is to have your entire body--and body image--change so quickly and so drastically! For me (before my first), I never had a great body image (although I just wish I'd known then how great I actually did look, even though I wasn't in line with the insane "ideal" for Western Society!), so my first pregnancy was really quite cathartic for me....it was the first time in my life that I felt good about my body, strong, powerful, and comfortable in my own skin! But it was still a crazy-fast transition, and it leaves your head reeling!

4) Orgasm can definitely cause some wacky-intense contractions. BH ctx are essentially the same thing as "true" ctx....same muscles doing the same thing. IMHO, Dr. Braxton-Hicks could have saved generations of women a great deal of confusion by not trying to get something named after him. Contractions are contractions....they either progress in intensity, duration, frequency and organization, and lead to labor, or they don't. They can be intense or frequent or continue for quite some time or even seem to be very organized, but unless/until they become all of those things, you probably don't need to worry about them. Of course, check to make sure you don't have any risk factors for preterm labor....but otherwise, my approach to contractions is to ignore them until they won't allow me to ignore them. KWIM?

Generally speaking, to get them to relax, you should drink a big glass of water, do some gentle stretches (change position) and deep, calm breathing exercises, do some gentle massage (try arnica oil on your belly--it is SO nice!) and take a warm bath to help you relax. I've also found that coaxing the baby to change positions can help...seems like sometimes s/he will get into a position that triggers a muscle spasm and will cause contractions. Putting an ice pack on the side of your belly where the baby is and a warmed rice sock on the other side will very often encourage the baby to move. It's actually pretty cool!

Originally Posted by linchi

Ok, so I guess now my question might be how do Braxton Hicks feel and how do real contractions feel? When should I start getting worried?

Like I said, I really don't like to call them BH, as if that's somehow a totally different thing from "real" ctx. They are essentially the same thing. They feel the same. Some can be quite intense, even painful. Full-on labor ctx can also vary a great deal in intensity, duration, etc. It's just not a fully quantifiable science-type thing. As they approach/become labor, they will continue to increase in length, strength, and frequency. My advice is just ignore them. Try the calming measures listed above. If, after that, you are still unable to ignore them (I think the magic number is something like 5 ctx per hour), then you might want to call your HCP. As for how you'll know "when it's time" the only I answer I have for that is, you'll know.

Originally Posted by Helsie

Am I the only one who gets annoyed when people ask how they are feeling? Maybe I am just a cranky p/g person, but I am feeling great, thanks! I felt awful at 6-12 weeks but couldn't tell anyone about it. Now it's obvious I am p/g people have started to ask!!

I get irrationally annoyed by this question. Like I want to cause physical harm to the person asking. It's crazy. It especially annoys me when we'll be just talking normally, lah-dee-dah, and all of the sudden their voice changes--the pitch and volume drop significantly, and I know what's coming..."How have you been feeling?" all sotto voce, and it just makes me want to claw at my brain!

I'm sure I am a horrible person, but people at church are the worst!

Of course, I try to control myself....I usually just give a bright smile and a perky, "Great! Everything is fine!" And then just quietly imagine myself doing something like this:

LOL, yeah, I know I'm a total lunatic!

[Rikki Jean]

Originally Posted by linchi

2. The maternity pants I bought are all either flare or wide leg. I find that after wearing straight legged jeans wide legged pants now make me feel short and fat. So yesterday I popped into a 2nd hand store and found an amazing pair of non-maternity stretch, straight legged jeans and they make me feel like a rock star again! That's right, I've got a bump, but d*amn if I don't feel nice about what I'm wearing.

Girl, I hear ya! I searched high and low for skinny jeans that I could afford (Pea in the Pod has some, but they're like $200 bucks!!!!!!!!), and eventually settled for straight legs from Motherhood...they're boot cut, not straight. So, I'm going to have to take them in, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I was trying to get away with wearing a stretchier pair of non-maternity skinny jeans that I own, but they were killing my round ligaments, and I'm carrying really low, so it didn't work.

Of course, when I was pg with DS2, skinny jeans were all the rage at Motherhood, but since I was due in November, I couldn't bring myself to spend the money to wear them for a month (I'm in southern California, and it's pretty warm here most of the time. I should have just bought them then, darn it!

Originally Posted by linchi

** TMI WARNING **
4. This is more of a question for you BTDT ladies. Due to a UTI my midwife had us hold off on intercourse. Now that the coast is clear we tried again last night and I got such bad cramps during/after. Was that Braxton Hicks? Something to be worried about? Will it go away or are cramps now a part of our lovemaking?

For me, it's my round ligaments that kill me after DTD, and I'd equate sme of that with cramping.. I do get BH too, but they're not painful. It's my understanding that BH are okay to be uncomfortable, but not painful. So, if it were me, I'd mention it to my mw.

ETA: When you get the cramping feeling, where are you feeling it? Does your uterus get hard? When I get BH, my uterus feels like a hard ball.

[aramat]

Well, it happened AGAIN!

I went to the kitchen to make a sandwich of spinach and eggs on toast, but I came out with an ice cream.

The toddler woke up just as I took my first bite, so I took it with me into to her room and consoled her while still eating. (She's my easy kid.)

Went back to the kitchen to take a crack at the eggs again, and came back out with another ice cream.

Sigh. Hard life!

[SheBear]

ROFL! I think like you, Tamara!

[Keeta]

Ok, Tamara, you are an enabler! I had successfully talked myself down from chocolate chip cookies, but NOW I don't feel so band and I'm going to eat them anyway!!!

[aramat]

Originally Posted by Keeta

Ok, Tamara, you are an enabler! I had successfully talked myself down from chocolate chip cookies, but NOW I don't feel so band and I'm going to eat them anyway!!!

Oops! Well, I say we DESERVE our treats anyway!

It's my husband's fault; if he brings ice cream home, I'm just doomed. Otherwise, we have NO sweets in the house (unless I make cinnamon toast or something with honey), so I eat a lot of apples and bananas the rest of the time... But ice cream... Oh, ice cream...

[linchi]

Originally Posted by aramat

Oops! Well, I say we DESERVE our treats anyway!

Here, here - I agree! And that's not just because I finished off the remnants of two nutella jars that have been tormenting me from my cupboard. Yum! At least I ate them with a chopped banana on toast!

[linchi]

Originally Posted by Ninetales

Haha, I've had the opposite problem. Everywhere I've looked (it's criminal how few stores even sell maternity clothes around here) most of the jeans are skinny. Maybe people who are still small prefer them, but I am plus size and just don't like them in general. I was so happy to find some bootcuts and thank goodness they were normal priced even in a maternity boutique.

Originally Posted by SheBear

2)Woo-hoo for clothes that make you feel great! DH surprised me about 6 weeks ago with a bunch of nice maternity clothes (we were in the store trying stuff on, and I was planning to buy ONE outfit, but he took everything and said, "Here, I'll take care of this stuff while you get dressed again." And when I got out of the dressing room, he had just finished purchasing the whole armload for me!! It was a huuuuge confidence boost, but now I really need to find a tailor to hem some of the pants for me, because I'm short, and there's no way I'm gonna totter around on 6" heels the whole time I'm pregnant!

Yay for finding clothes that we like!!! It's not like they make it easy...

Originally Posted by SheBear

4) Orgasm can definitely cause some wacky-intense contractions. BH ctx are essentially the same thing as "true" ctx....same muscles doing the same thing. IMHO, Dr. Braxton-Hicks could have saved generations of women a great deal of confusion by not trying to get something named after him. Contractions are contractions....they either progress in intensity, duration, frequency and organization, and lead to labor, or they don't. They can be intense or frequent or continue for quite some time or even seem to be very organized, but unless/until they become all of those things, you probably don't need to worry about them. Of course, check to make sure you don't have any risk factors for preterm labor....but otherwise, my approach to contractions is to ignore them until they won't allow me to ignore them. KWIM?

Generally speaking, to get them to relax, you should drink a big glass of water, do some gentle stretches (change position) and deep, calm breathing exercises, do some gentle massage (try arnica oil on your belly--it is SO nice!) and take a warm bath to help you relax. I've also found that coaxing the baby to change positions can help...seems like sometimes s/he will get into a position that triggers a muscle spasm and will cause contractions. Putting an ice pack on the side of your belly where the baby is and a warmed rice sock on the other side will very often encourage the baby to move. It's actually pretty cool!

Like I said, I really don't like to call them BH, as if that's somehow a totally different thing from "real" ctx. They are essentially the same thing. They feel the same. Some can be quite intense, even painful. Full-on labor ctx can also vary a great deal in intensity, duration, etc. It's just not a fully quantifiable science-type thing. As they approach/become labor, they will continue to increase in length, strength, and frequency. My advice is just ignore them. Try the calming measures listed above. If, after that, you are still unable to ignore them (I think the magic number is something like 5 ctx per hour), then you might want to call your HCP. As for how you'll know "when it's time" the only I answer I have for that is, you'll know.

Ok, good to know! actually my anti-stretch mark oil has arnica in it, and it's true - it feels super good o put it on! Thanks for the other tips too. That's amazing you can move the baby around, haha.

Originally Posted by Rikki Jean

Girl, I hear ya! I searched high and low for skinny jeans that I could afford (Pea in the Pod has some, but they're like $200 bucks!!!!!!!!), and eventually settled for straight legs from Motherhood...they're boot cut, not straight. So, I'm going to have to take them in, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I was trying to get away with wearing a stretchier pair of non-maternity skinny jeans that I own, but they were killing my round ligaments, and I'm carrying really low, so it didn't work.

Of course, when I was pg with DS2, skinny jeans were all the rage at Motherhood, but since I was due in November, I couldn't bring myself to spend the money to wear them for a month (I'm in southern California, and it's pretty warm here most of the time. I should have just bought them then, darn it!

For me, it's my round ligaments that kill me after DTD, and I'd equate sme of that with cramping.. I do get BH too, but they're not painful. It's my understanding that BH are okay to be uncomfortable, but not painful. So, if it were me, I'd mention it to my mw.

ETA: When you get the cramping feeling, where are you feeling it? Does your uterus get hard? When I get BH, my uterus feels like a hard ball.

I actually got the pair of stretch skinny jeans second hand! They are amazing. and cost less than 10€!

Ok, I've done some searching on round ligaments but I'm not sure if the pain is there, or where, really this is all so new. My uterus does feel hard like a rock after, but I expected BH/contractions to be more of a come and go thing, not constant. The pain/cramps made me stop doing what I was doing, then they resided. I will mention it to my midwife and see what she says!

THANKS, you guys are awesome!

[NicoleS]

I "officially" hit the 3rd trimester today...

[beccabus]

Yay Nicole!! Just one more week for me and I'll meet ya there!!

[Snapdragon]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

I "officially" hit the 3rd trimester today...

Congratulations! 3 more weeks for me till I am there. wow!

[SheBear]

Third tri?? Why was I thinking that 3rd tri started at the end of 27 weeks LMP? I swear, they keep changing this stuff. It's never been the same from one pregnancy to the next!

In my last pregnancy, we had this same confusing discussion on our DDC, so I came up with The Official SheBear Trimester Schedule (Revised). ROFL!

I believe I shall now adopt it again for use the rest of this pregnancy.....bwahahahahahaaaaaa! Feel free to join me!

Originally Posted by linchi

Here, here - I agree! And that's not just because I finished off the remnants of two nutella jars that have been tormenting me from my cupboard. Yum! At least I ate them with a chopped banana on toast!

Oh, I am in soooooo much trouble now! I had actually forgotten that Nutella existed! Haven't had any in the house since we moved, and it honestly hadn't even crossed my mind in what, nearly 11 months now??!!

Will rectify that immediately!

[NicoleS]

Originally Posted by SheBear

Third tri?? Why was I thinking that 3rd tri started at the end of 27 weeks LMP? I swear, they keep changing this stuff. It's never been the same from one pregnancy to the next!

My OB counts it as 13 weeks - end of first trimester, 26 weeks - end of second. I guess if I were to go to 40 weeks that would make the 3rd trimester 14 weeks long - longer if I went overdue, but since I doubt I'll make it there it works for me.

ETA: I think if you technically divide 40 weeks by 3 it is more like 13 weeks, 2 days per trimester? So 26. 5 weeks would be third trimester and you could round that up to 27? I just find it easier to work with whole weeks.

[aramat]

Originally Posted by SheBear

In my last pregnancy, we had this same confusing discussion on our DDC, so I came up with The Official SheBear Trimester Schedule (Revised). ROFL!

SheBear, that is hysterical! And also, strangely calming, as I am SO NOT READY for the 3rd trimester. COUNT ME IN!

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

Just some of the threads being started lately - we don't cosleep, we don't CD, the thought of eating my placenta makes me shudder (no offense intended to someone who wants to do it, just not my thing), I'm using a regular old OB and birthing in a hospital and happy about it - heck, I already know I won't even be able to BF past 3-6 months.

Plus part of it is probably hormones, but I feel like I don't "fit in" on any of my forums lately - On my more "mainstream" board I'm catching a lot of flack over not vaccinating for H1N1 from the "mainstream" mommies, but then also catching flack from the lactavist/AP mommies because I told moms in my DDC that giving formula does not equal poisoning your child. I just hate, Hate, HATE to see moms be made to feel bad because of a parenting decision they want or have to make. I guess in "crunchy" terms I'd be "sprinkled with granola" and my "soggy" parts are frequently at war with my "crunchy" ones so I don't mesh well with either group.

I am SOOOOOO right there with you. I seriously could've typed this post word for word! Be who you are and be proud of who you are. I'm sure you're a great mother and you do what you feel is best for your LO's and your family. I've come to realize that myself and it makes a HUGE difference.
I used to question my parenting choices on a daily basis especially when I was around other mamas that were full blown AP and didn't do one thing that was mainstream. It made me feel self-conscious and uncomfortable. Some of our styles are AP (like babywearing and breastfeeding), but we don't co-sleep, CD, etc., I was only able to nurse my DS for 3 months due to lack of supply. I'm hoping that it will last longer this time around, but if it doesn't and I've tried all I could, I at least know that and my child will be happy regardless.
Hang in there, mama! Wish we lived close so that we could meet up and get to know each other better.

[Keeta]

Originally Posted by SheBear

In my last pregnancy, we had this same confusing discussion on our DDC, so I came up with The Official SheBear Trimester Schedule (Revised). ROFL!

For some reason, the calender I was originally going by started the 3rd Tri at week 28, so that's where I'm leaving it for now. I'd rather be in the "I am woman, hear me ROAR!" trimester longer than the "OMG, my back hurts, I'm waddling, and I feel like a bloated whale!" trimester.

But really, SheBear, I think I'll just go with your schedule! It makes the most sense emotionally!