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Not sure how to approach this (the holidays) - Page 2

post #21 of 22
i'm glad it worked out so well
post #22 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by bronxmom View Post
See, I guess I'm really non-traditional but I just don't have this approach. I much prefer the idea of a more extendable concept of family. In fact, I think it's the desire/need to define the nuclear family as an exclusive unit that leads to so much grief. I.e., the concept of something "undermining" the integrity of the nuclear unit. Of course, if the ex-es can't get along then that's no fun for anyone but if they can then it seems to me that everyone benefits. I like that my family benefits from so many outside influences and so much involvement: my ex, my ex's family, my partner and his family, my family, all of our friends who love my children and have their own relationships with them, etc. I want to welcome and open my family to that not set boundaries on it.

If people feel differently, that's fair enough but I wouldn't say that parents are only helping children if they model that kind of marital/familial relationship. I think children can benefit from all sorts of set ups as long as there is love, support and respect involved.
Gosh, you make me sound so old-school!

Actually, I agree with most of what you said. I think if you're comfortable with that arrangement, then those *are* the boundary conditions of your marriage, and that's great. I don't mean we all have to follow pre-written codes for our family lives, just that whatever we do decide should be honored.

I am a big believer in extended family, however I never agreed to have my husband's ex in my family, and she never did either. So we are not. And that's ok and the children respect that just fine.
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